‘Boyfriend promised me a threesome and nice vacation however he by no means delivered’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is growing tired of her boyfriend’s big promises and lack of action
She is still waiting for the threesome he guaranteed her (stock)(Image: Getty Images)
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Charlie big potatoes
My bloke is full of hot air. He dreams big and promises the world, but his plans never amount to anything.
He boasts about giving me great sex but rarely makes me scream. He keeps telling me that we’ll go on fabulous holidays, meet influential people, and have money to burn, but I can’t think of a single assurance that has come true. Every new year we sit down together and plan the next twelve months ahead.
From better sex to a big, flashy wedding, he always swears that we’re headed for great things. But now I’m beginning to wish he’d change the record and start delivering. There’s no getting away from the fact that 2025 was a wash out as far as I’m concerned. We didn’t go abroad, get engaged or have the threesome I was guaranteed.
We didn’t manage to tick a single box. Every time I suggested booking up tickets or reaching out to new people, he made an excuse; no money; couldn’t get the time off work; sick relative etc. Now I can’t help feeling let down and disappointed. He’s already waffling on about what he wants to do in 2026, and I wonder if he’s a fantasist. Perhaps with him it’s all talk and no action? Do I give him another chance, or will I always be left waiting?
We’ve been together for nearly four years and it’s getting pretty galling watching all the friends around us growing up and branching out when we’re stuck in the same town, in the same old routine. I wouldn’t mind so much if she was a fun guy or a dangerous lover, but he regularly bores me to death, and our sex life is a dull as last month’s tax return.
JANE SAYS: The fact is that all of us could sit around talking about building a better life. But it’s the actual doing that counts. Branching out into something awesome and different takes imagination and guts. You’ve got to tell your chap that you’re not prepared to sit around chatting about possible adventures any longer. You want to live your life, not indulge in wishful thinking. Grab a calendar and work out some suitable dates. Tell him that you’ll take control and book some experiences. Get him to ask for the time off work and give you his fifty per cent of the costs. In other words, be proactive and make your dreams come true.
Sadly, if he comes up with an excuse or lets you down again, then you’ll have to accept that he simply isn’t capable of following through. What you can’t do is waste any more of your time on a man who constantly builds you up – only to let you down again. Life is short and very precious. Every day we’re bombarded with images of people who can’t fulfil their potential or, sadly, die too young. Clearly, you’re a person with ambition and energy and it’s a crime for you to sit around waiting for someone else to get up off their backside. If you don’t start to act soon, then you’ll begin to feel very bitter, resentful and frustrated. As for that long-awaited threesome – just make sure that you always use a condom and be aware of what you might be letting yourself in for.
Green-eyed monster
My stepsister is furious that my boyfriend has asked me to marry him. We’ve only been together for nine months, but we both know that we are destined to be together forever.
In contrast, her long-term partner of six years still won’t commit to even living with her. I’ve tried to involve her in every step of my wedding preparations, but all she does is make me feel bad. She thinks my dress is horrible and my chosen venue a dump. The other night she had me in tears again over my guest list. I don’t know why I bother being nice.
JANE SAYS: Unfortunately, your bitter stepsister is so eaten up with jealousy that she’s finding fault in everything you have planned. Stop putting yourself through this misery, because the truth is that her opinion is not that important. At the moment you’re simply indulging her ego. Only surround yourself with positive, helpful people, because you should be enjoying this time. Step back and stop running stuff by her. Leave her in doubt that she’s overstepped the mark. Also warn her that you don’t want any cheap stunts or bad behaviour at the wedding. Sadly, if she doesn’t believe that she can now support you 100 per cent, then maybe it would be better if she didn’t attend your big day at all. Over to her…
Worry guts
I’m worried about my daughter and her wife. They married last year and everything was wonderful for a while, but now they don’t seem to be getting on. My daughter has taken to coming to our house late at night and staying over in her old room. I always ask her if she’s okay and she says she needs some space. I can’t rest for fretting about them. Currently they’re travelling abroad but I’ve already had several texts indicating that they’re not really getting on. How can I help?
JANE SAYS: You’ve asked your daughter (several times) if she is upset and if you can help. Several times she’s replied that she’s fine and just needs some space, so I suggest you step back and respect her position. All new marriages throw up challenges to a greater or lesser degree.
If your daughter and her wife are having relationship problems, then the last thing they need is you twittering away in the background. This is about two adults trying to work through their problems. Only get involved if they ask for your help or advice. In the meantime, take a step back and concentrate on things at home. Remember that your own life requires time, love and nurturing too.
Out on her ear
I left my long-term boyfriend when my mother died. I believed that my Dad needed me to look after him. Recently, however, he lost his temper with me and accused me of draining his finances. He said that I was burden. I’m so hurt. I’m 32. Where do I go from here?
JANE SAYS: Your father couldn’t have been clearer; he wants you to move on and live your own life. Sadly, you expected gratitude and thanks from him; instead, you got anger and harsh accusations. Now you finally know where you stand so you owe it to yourself to plan for the future. Concentrate on finding somewhere new to live; rise up and vow to love again. You may have misjudged this situation, but all is not lost.
