‘My lady needs kinky hook ups however will not have a child – she thinks it’s going to smash her determine’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a disillusioned Daily Star reader who craves stability and a wholesome lifestyle

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

She’s only interested in thrills

My partner wants us to start a family but doesn’t fancy getting pregnant. She admits that she’s too vain to carry a baby to full term.

She says that pregnancy would ruin her figure and that she refuses to end up looking like a baby elephant. She’s seen what having children has done to her sisters and she’s not buying it… Besides, a pregnancy would play havoc with her social life and her ability to have fun. Last night she said that if I insisted then she’d consider a surrogate, adoption or fostering, but I’d have to be prepared to do all the nappy changes and donkey work – forever… I fancy her sexually but am struggling to respect this stance. I think she’s selfish. Surely there must be more to life than having a laugh and buying stuff? For me, sex ultimately equals pro-creation. Sadly, she doesn’t think the same. With her, sex is about kinky thrills and excitement. She loves to push back the boundaries and challenge herself. I like to enjoy myself too, but sometimes I find her attitudes immature and shallow.

If I start a conversation about something that she doesn’t agree with then she tells me to ‘shut up’ and waffles on about her work; her mates; her new outfit – or whatever.

Is she ever going to change and become a more rounded woman – and possible mother?

Sometimes I wonder if I made a terrible mistake ditching my childhood sweetheart who now has three delightful children, a cosy home and the kind of wholesome lifestyle I crave. I recently bumped into her at a party with her husband. These days she’s confident, mature and handsome and now I deeply regret letting her go.

JANE SAYS: Your current partner certainly knows her own mind. She has got her life just as she wants it. She’s happy with her friends, her work and her stuff.

She’s not interested in getting pregnant or taking on the full time responsibility of having children. That doesn’t make her selfish – just honest. It would be terrible if she got pregnant with a child she didn’t want. What kind of life would that child have? Having a baby and becoming a mother is a massive, life-long commitment.

Not every woman is the same and if she isn’t interested, then good luck to her. I’m certainly not going to condemn her for being herself. What you must face up to now is that she’s not the girl for you. If you want marriage, children and a woman who is willing to put her career, friends and social life on hold, then you need to find someone new.

She has been honest with you, now you need to start being honest with yourself by moving on. Otherwise, you’ll lose all respect for each other and things may become bitter or nasty.

Clearly, bumping into your ex-girlfriend again has made you think carefully about the kind of life you wish to lead in future. Obviously, getting your ex back isn’t an option, but maybe you need to be less shallow and more mature yourself in future…

She’s strung me along

The woman I love has failed to leave her husband, again. We met several years ago. She told me she was unhappy at home and loved me. She claimed that her husband was impotent and that they hadn’t had sex in years. Last October she announced that she was thinking about getting her own flat.

Now she’s finally admitted that she and her husband are not splitting up at all – ever. If anything, they’re thinking about renewing their marriage vows and starting again. She hasn’t even said that she’s sorry for stringing me along.

JANE SAYS: This is crunch time. You must accept that your married lover will never be yours.

You can’t allow her to use you anymore. You’ve got to be strong, take her at her word and walk away, otherwise your heart will continue to be broken and yourself esteem will plummet. It’s very sad that you’ve spent so long waiting for her, but if she’s hasn’t been telling you the truth, then your relationship never stood a chance. Take what you’ve learnt with you into your next relationship. Sadly, you’ve found out the hard way that starting a relationship with a married person isn’t a great move. Vow to emerge from this stronger and wiser.

He’s my fantasy fella

During a drunken night out from work I snogged my boss. I went straight up to him and stuck my tongue down his throat. Now I can’t stop fantasising about him. I dream about him when I’m having sex with my boyfriend. Do you think he and I could get it on?

I’ve always dreamed of dating a rich man.

JANE SAYS: Don’t ruin everything by reading too much into this situation. If you love your boyfriend and enjoy your job, then put the snog down to drunken high jinks and carry on. Resist the temptation to make a fool of yourself and don’t even think about mixing business with pleasure.

As for marching up to him and doing it again – don’t…

What you did was inappropriate and unprofessional.