‘My sexy mum’s hunky toy boy makes her scream however I can not stand the twerp’
JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who is worried about his sexed up mum and her horny younger lover
He needs to find someone of his own age (stock)
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We used to laugh at him
I love my Mum, but she makes bad choices as far as men are concerned. My Dad died when I was five and my childhood was blighted with ugly ‘uncles’ and fleeting stepfathers sharing her bed.
Her current squeeze is a Class A moron. He is arrogant and flash but is pumped and toned from the gym. At 30, he’s only a few years older than me. Mum is twice his age and totally smitten. She literally salivates every time he walks in the room and things are now so noisy next door in her bedroom that I’ve taken to sleeping with earplugs in…
She boasts that the sex is ‘off the scale horny’. Gross.
I first met him a couple of years ago in town. He was working in a nightclub/bar in town and was known to be a player. He’d chat up anyone. He was sleeping with all sorts of women and behaving like a geezer. We used to laugh AT him. He was joke figure. Now he’s bedding my mother and she’s claiming that he’s a changed man. Apparently, he’s cleaned up his act and got a life.
But he still looks like the same mouthy, good-for-nothing to me.
The other day I nipped home at lunchtime to pick up a change of clothes. He was sprawled out on the sofa watching porn. When I asked him if my Mum approved, he laughed in my face.
This bloke is too young for her. He’s bleeding her dry and making her look a fool. She’s acting like a giggly schoolgirl, and all her old friends have deserted her. I’m lucky in that I have a wonderful mate whose parents have said that we can move into their loft room for peanuts. I’m sorted, but I do worry that my infatuated mother could be headed for a fall. I wish they’d both find someone of their own age.
JANE SAYS: I don’t imagine anything you say to your mother will have any effect right now. She’s loved up and they do say that love is blind…
She’s clearly having the time of her life. She’s crazy in love and throwing caution to the wind. You may not approve of her boyfriend or her new lifestyle, but I don’t get the impression that she’s asking for anyone’s approval or permission. You may cringe every time her bedsprings creak, but at least she sounds happy – if only for the moment.
I suspect she feels that this is her time now. I’m sure that she’s acutely aware that her boyfriend isn’t perfect. But he gives her great sex and makes her feel good about herself, so he’ll certainly do for now.
I suggest you keep out of his way if he winds you up too much. Don’t be too quick to judge, because none of us ever knows just what’s around the corner.
Get on with your new adventure and leave your mother to have her fun and make her own mistakes. Maybe the whole affair will end in tears? Maybe her boyfriend will take her to the cleaners and break heart, but that could happen with anyone, at any age. Just make sure she knows that you love and support her and will always be around to offer help.
Plus, promise never to say, ‘I told you so’, because you have no way of knowing how you’ll end up yourself.
A weight off his chest
When we first met, my husband refused to tell me anything about his sexual or dating history. I’ve never known the name of a single ex.
Just before Christmas he sat me down and said that he had something important to tell me. He confessed that, as an international businessman, he used to visit strip clubs and use prostitutes. It was the ‘business culture’ to sample the local delights – with women and men. He has only told me the truth now, because he can no longer live with the guilt. How am I supposed to feel when everything I cherish has been based on a lie?
JANE SAYS: Your husband has left you feeling confused and overwhelmed. Suddenly you’re seeing a totally different man; one who previously slept with male and female sex workers and chose not to be open with you.
I suggest you take some time out to calm down, relax and inwardly digest everything he’s told you. Explain that you need to get away and don’t feel guilty or under any pressure to rush back. What you must consider now is your future life, your health and your happiness. If staying with him is going to bring you down and make you feel bitter and resentful, then plan your escape. Also, ask for a complete check up from your GP. Do not feel conflicted about taking a new path if you want to.
We’re not good enough
My daughter has always been incredibly snobbish. Growing up, our home was never good enough for her. She bragged that, as an adult, she would get a great job, move into a fantastic house and travel the world. We told that we’d be ‘lucky’ if we ever saw her again. Well, she’s nearly 30 and she’s still here.
Far from being grateful for our food, warmth and cash handouts, she never stops moaning. She says her life is pants and everything is our fault. I love her but she’s driving me mad.
JANE SAYS: Your daughter sounds bitter and resentful. Sadly, her life hasn’t worked out the way she’d hoped.
She needs some tough love. She needs to stand on her own feet. She only gets away with acting like a brat because you let her. What’s she doing about sorting herself out? If she has time on her hands, then insist that she takes on more tasks at home too. I suspect you’re tiptoeing around her, because you don’t wish to break her spirit or crush her confidence, but what about your peace of mind? Life these days IS tough. She’s got to stop moaning and start being more proactive, resourceful and – dare I say it? – grateful.
They’ll demand the deets
I’m desperate to leave my new husband. He isn’t interested in having sex with me. My parents are still paying off my wedding, and I know that my Mum and sister will demand to know why things have fallen apart. They will insist on hearing the full story of our disastrous sex life. I’m mortified.
JANE SAYS: You don’t have to justify this split to anyone. If your new husband is actively avoiding sex and isn’t making you happy, then you’re fully entitled to ask why or walk away. Talk to him. If you cannot see how this marriage can be saved, then you owe it to yourself to limit the damage. Your female relatives can mind their own business.
