Mum fed-up with ‘merciless’ folks asking if down syndrome son’s relationship is authorized
Michael Gallagher, 38, and Alison Williams, 42, met playing football in 2006 and have been happily together ever since – but strangers still ask if their relationship is ‘allowed’
(Image: Cover Images)
A devoted mum has lashed out at critics who question her son’s two-decade romance for one crucial reason. Twenty years into their love affair, the pair continue to endure harsh scrutiny rooted in prejudice and misconceptions, with some doubting whether their relationship is even “allowed”.
Michael Gallagher, 38, and Alison Williams, 42, first crossed paths on the football pitch in 2006. Their inaugural proper date took place at a disco, where they both turned up dressed as Grease characters Danny Zuco and Sandy Olsson.
The duo, who both have Down’s Syndrome, remain blissfully content – yet they continue to encounter hostility. While their relatives offer unwavering support, countless others have subjected the couple to disapproving glances and snide remarks.
Michael’s mum Dot reveals it’s a heartbreaking reality confronting numerous disabled individuals, reports the Mirror. Dot, 78, recalls Michael was quite the “babe magnet” during his school days, though he ultimately fell head over heels for Alison.
Describing their bond, the mum explained: “The way they got together was quite organic. They discussed it first with Alison’s mum Ann and I. We had a discussion, Ann took Alison to have a chat with a nurse about contraception, and they got things sorted out”.
She continued: “We had to have those discussions about how sometimes they won’t be in the same mood – and then we made up our minds that we would facilitate whatever they wanted to do, as we knew they were both safe and happy. They are both pretty grown up about it and they manage it well themselves.”
Just months after getting together, Michael and Allison marked their blossoming romance with a dreamy weekend break in Cardiff Bay, indulging in spa pool treats, complete privacy and room service. Fortunately, mum Dot was available as a volunteer chair at Mencap Môn on Anglesey, but the pair’s ‘staycation’ went without a hitch, with Dot not laying eyes on them for a complete 48 hours.
Over the years, the duo have embarked on numerous adventures together, catch up almost daily and chat on the phone every evening. Residing with their families at opposite ends of Anglesey, Michael and Allison favour weekend escapes to carve out precious moments together.
A picture of relationship bliss, mum Dot observed: “It is great to see them so happy together. They do everything as a couple. We have more issues with what other people think and feel that they can ask Ann and I. We’ve been asked questions about their relationship, which we don’t feel we need to answer. Things like ‘is it allowed?’ – lots of people think that it isn’t allowed or it isn’t an OK thing to do”.
Dot went on to say: “It is depressing that people are asking about my 38-year-old son’s intimate relationships with his girlfriend. It just shouldn’t happen”. Coming from both strangers and relatives, the mum reveals that one family wedding even led to guests debating the couple’s choice to share a bedroom.
“People asked us ‘did we know what was happening?’. We don’t! We don’t need to know. Who needs to know? ,” she questioned. “It’s their relationship. It bothers me. I have got five sons and nobody asks me about their intimate relationships. It’s very intrusive.”
The delighted pair have also been pestered with queries about tying the knot. “We’re not pushing them to do that,” Dot clarifies.
“They’re not pushing to do it. The day they change their mind we’ll change with it, but right at this moment, they like how their relationship is. People don’t respect their boundaries”.
“And it’s not just with Michael and Alison. We have a few couples in our Mencap group, and we were on an open air trip in Edinburgh when a woman was tutting and shaking her head. Ann and I just stared back at her.
“People like that aren’t willing to say what they’re thinking, but it’s very obvious that they are disapproving. In Wales, people will say ‘Bechod! ,’ which means sort of shame or pity. You get that all the time,” she continued.
Jon Sparkes, chief executive at Mencap, has also voiced his concerns about the stigma and shame endured by couples with learning difficulties. Pointing out that the UK is home to 1.5 million diagnosed individuals who are equally entitled to a life filled with love, just like anyone else, he stated: “Most of us take it for granted that we can hold hands, kiss or go for a drink with someone we’re romantically involved with. But for too many people with a learning disability, love comes with conditions – other people’s opinions, prejudice and even fear”.
He continued: “We hear from people who feel they have to hide their affection in case they’re judged, who can only meet new people if staff or family are free to take them, and who then face a military‐style operation just to keep a relationship going – from sorting support and transport to finding any privacy at all. Love shouldn’t be a privilege, it’s a basic human right”.
Alison, 42, shared her experiences of judgement, pleading for people to “be kind” regarding her relationship. When asked what she loved most about her boyfriend, Alison eagerly labelled Michael as “handsome,” whilst being affectionately referred to as a “sweetheart” in return.
On Christmas, she received a promise ring adorned with two hearts, representing their determination not to hurry into an engagement. This Valentine’s Day, Alison was certain to have been pampered as Michael is reportedly a hopeless romantic, renowned for arranging flowers in his room when his beloved visits, complete with chocolates on the pillows and thoughtful presents.
The couple adore travelling together, playing football, swimming and dancing. Their sole source of disagreement centres on their opposing football allegiances – Liverpool FC (Alison’s) and Manchester United (Michael’s).
Dot revealed: “When Mike first went to stay with Alison, she had a Liverpool bedspread on which they had to take off immediately. So Mike has special bedding for when Allison comes to stay. They are very good at compromise”.
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