‘My scorching accomplice sells intercourse – I can not cease fascinated with his kinky romps with strangers’

JUST JANE: Today our agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is dealing with a new issue from a Daily Star reader who disagrees with her lover’s lifestyle choices

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If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

There are no boundaries

I’m ashamed of how my boyfriend makes a living.

He sells sex. He services rich women in trendy hotels and posh apartments. He has a bulging contact book. His grateful client gives him money, clothes and watches too.

My family think he deals in classic cars, but the only classic thing about him is his membership to the oldest profession in the world…

He’s a hot, charismatic guy. I love his body and his mind is as sharp as a razor, but I struggle to respect the way he pays his bills. I sick of the shame, the lying and the sexual health checks. He swears he loves me and that anything he does away from me is purely business. He doesn’t make love to his ‘clients’ – he screws them; whereas what we have together in bed is genuine and true.

He begs me not to feel jealous or resentful because his clients aren’t a threat. But I feel terrible every time he dresses up and heads out of the door for another sexual encounter with some rich puppeteer. Especially as I know that there are no limits; he will do absolutely anything for money no matter how kinky or depraved.

Yes, his earnings are good, and we’ve had some fabulous holidays and treats of late, but I can’t stop my mind from imagining him enjoying/enduring threesomes, bondage sex games and worse with an endless stream of strangers. Sometimes he goes away for whole weekends and weeks at a time. We agree not to discuss our time apart, but cold nights alone are depressing and sad when I’ve only got my sex toys to keep me company.

JANE SAYS: Clearly, you’re dazzled by your boyfriend’s good looks, smooth talk and ready cash, but if you’re not happy in this relationship then I don’t see the point in you hanging around.

I’m not pretending that all unions are 100 per cent perfect, but you seem to be hovering around the 50 per cent mark, because he’s only ever half with you.

The rest of the time he’s out servicing his clients in the most intimate ways possible.

I suspect you thought, at the beginning of this relationship, that you were old enough and tough enough to cope with anything. But now that you and he have settled down, his profession becomes more unpalatable by the day.

Surely, you’re too good for all of this? You’re in the prime of your life, yet you’re dating a man who earns his living from having sleazy sex with sad and lonely women. I don’t accept that this is the only option open to him. What about getting a more respectable job?

How is he squaring his sex-for-sale ‘career’ with his conscience – or doesn’t he have one? Talk to him today about where you go from here. Explain that you’re sick of the lies and the loneliness and this isn’t the life you wish to lead. Is he up for a change? Because you are…

Hand it back

Our son came into money in 2020 and gifted us a sizeable chunk. We updated our car and paid off our mortgage. Now his business is in trouble, and he wants the money back.

He’s nagging us to sell our house and move into a one-bed roomed flat he’s found. We’ve seen this flat and it’s horrible. I love my garden and if we leave this house, it will mean that our daughter (18) will become homeless. Sadly, our son doesn’t care about any of this. At first his tone was reasonable. But recently, he rang me and started screaming that we’re selfish and greedy.

My husband and daughter say to ignore him. But I feel so torn because he’s still my boy, I hate to see him suffer. Sadly, money is ripping our family apart.

JANE SAYS: It’s unfortunate that your son is struggling but he can’t hand out money one minute and ask for it back the next. Tell him that you’re sorry, but you’re not prepared to give up your home.

He should have thought about the long-term consequences, before he handed that cash over. Don’t allow anyone to bully you or make you feel guilty. Could you get together as a family and support him in sorting out his financial problems? Make sure you consult qualified legal and financial experts about your position.

Eyes on the prize

I’m sick of an old friend borrowing and breaking my stuff. Every time she comes over, she asks to take something away. If she spots, I have a new gadget or outfit, she conjures up a reason why she desperately needs it.

My boyfriend says I need to toughen up but she’s so persuasive. What gets me is that she’s never willing to lend me anything of hers. A while ago I asked to borrow a jacket for a wedding and she pretended it was with her mum, which was a complete fib.

JANE SAYS: I get the impression your ‘friend’ gets a kick out of putting you on the spot. She exercises her power by embarrassing you into handing over your precious stuff. You must stamp this out now before she trashes everything you own – including your self-respect.

If she can’t be trusted to control her roaming eye in your home, then arrange to meet her in a mutual location in future. If she still insists on pushing her luck, then maybe you need to accept that she’s not actually a true friend at all. You boyfriend talks a lot of sense – and can clearly see through the games – so start listening to him too.

Kisses for me

I can’t have sex with my girlfriend. Every time we go to bed together, I let her down. I start off okay but then lose my erection halfway through. She’s been understanding up until now, but the other night she shouted at me when I rolled off saying ‘sorry’ and attempted to go to sleep. Now I’m terrified she’s going to leave me for someone more virile.

JANE SAYS: Why didn’t you attempt to satisfy your girlfriend with your tongue or your hands? No wonder she’s feeling frustrated if she doesn’t believe you’re considering her needs. Talk to her now.

Suggest going back to basics with kisses and massages. Make sex a priority and vow to build up the passion slowly. If you’re still worried, then visit your GP and ask for help.