Why I nonetheless want pocket cash from my dad and mom at 27… and I’m not ashamed to confess it
Last week, I went for dinner with my friend at a fancy taqueria in Soho. We’re talking £60 for food, £12 for a spicy margarita – and given it was what I call Thirsty Thursday, I would be having at least three. My bank balance was down to double digits and, without immediate action, I was going to be in a financial crisis in approximately two drinks’ time. So I picked up my phone and typed an all-too-familiar text to my parents: ‘Hope you’re having a nice night. I love you guys! And also, can I borrow some money?’
By ‘borrow’, I of course meant ‘have and immediately spend’. They know and accept this with the same raised eyebrow and resignation as when I go home with yet another tattoo, or when I finished university and told them I wasn’t getting some high-flying job in law or finance like my friends; I was going to become a journalist. I’m 27 now and, despite having a job I love, I have no inclination to curb my lifestyle to match the financial reality of my salary. Which is where the ‘adult allowance’ comes in: a payment from my parents of £300 per month to cover my ‘living expenses’, an umbrella term for expensive gym classes, expensive sushi and many expensive cocktails.
Before you judge, I’m not alone. In January, sensible people started decrying adult allowances when Marina Hyde claimed on The Rest Is Entertainment podcast that 31-year-old Nicola Peltz (best known for being Brooklyn Beckham’s wife and Victoria Beckham’s enemy-in-law) is given $1million to spend every month by her billionaire father.
Yet when I took a quick survey of the YOU office, it revealed most of the staffers who are under 35 are receiving a monthly ‘top-up’ from our parents (granted, nobody gets quite as much as Ms Peltz Beckham).
My best friend Charlotte, 29, gets £250 a month from her parents, which is supposedly for her to put in a savings account. Realistically, it’s spent on spin classes and matcha lattes. Then there’s Bella, 34, who’s in the process of buying a flat. She visited a mortgage adviser, who checked her accounts and asked: ‘You’re paid £200 every month by an RA Green. Is it for freelance work? And can we consider it an ongoing monthly income?’ Sheepishly, Bella had to admit RA Green is not an employer, but actually her grandad, who’s been giving her £200 a month since she turned 18. And yes, it would be ongoing.
There will be plenty of parents and grandparents reading this and thinking, ‘I would never be stupid/frivolous enough to send my spoiled/hopeless offspring top-up funds.’ To which I say: don’t be smug. Because I’ll bet you’re already falling victim to an equally finance-draining phenomenon: the stealth allowance.
Take, for example, my phone bill, which is a shocking £69.60 every month. I say shocking not because it’s pricey, but because it’s the first time I’ve seen that number: my mum pays it for me. I’m also on her Netflix (£18.99 per month), Amazon Prime (£8.99 per month) and Disney+ (£9.99 per month) subscriptions (ironically, I can never find anything to watch). Until two years ago, I had her card details saved on my Deliveroo account, and if I’d had a particularly bad day would order fried chicken and pretend I forgot to change the payment method. I eventually ’fessed up and deleted it because I was starting to feel like one of those spiders that feeds off and eventually consumes their matriarch.
According to a recent survey, 35 per cent of adults under 35 have at least one subscription paid for by mum and dad. Ask me, and that percentage is total b*****ks. Everybody I know is at it. My aforementioned friend Charlotte uses her mum’s card on her Uber account so enjoys ‘free’ taxis (the downside being her mum can see if she Ubers back from a night out at 3am). Another friend, 29-year-old Harriet, gets her mum to pay £140 per month for her HelloFresh meal-prep subscription under the guise of needing proper nutrition. After all, is £140 a month not a fair price to prevent your beloved child developing rickets from eating nothing but Super Noodles?
In all seriousness, I’m not overly proud of my financial dependence on my parents. I wish I was raking it in and splurging on them. But this isn’t the 80s and I’d be a terrible banker, which means I’d struggle to cover rent, bills and food with just my take-home pay. Add in socialising (even without cocktails), gym classes, films, holidays and all the other things 27-year-olds want – and, in my opinion, should be able – to do and, realistically, parental assistance is the only solution. So to my parents, if you’re reading this, I am, truly, very grateful. I love you guys! And also, can I borrow 20 quid?
