Donald Trump’s unhinged day as he moans he cannot leer at ladies at Women’s History Month occasion
Speaking at the White House, in front of a room full of women, Trump moaned that you can’t even call a woman beautiful any more or it’s the end of his career. Meanwhile, Melania gave a deeply, deeply weird speech
Am I right, lads?(Image: AP)
Donald Trump looked in his element during a White House speech marking Women’s History Month this evening. A room full of women who, given he’s the President and they are in the most heavily guarded building in the world, were unlikely to talk back to him.
“We love women,” he declared, being less than clear who the “we” referred to. “Women are the whole deal.”
He briefly spoke about how much he likes the women, before embarking on his usual stump speech, ranting about drug prices, the war in Iran, the Military and transgender people. But somehow, Melania’s speech introducing him was even more weird and inappropriate than his. Read on for more.
Meanwhile, in Trumpworld
- Melania declares herself a “visionary”
- Trump says he’s been ‘briefed’ on Detroit synagogue shooting
- He says high oil prices are good for America
- And he says it wouldn’t be ‘appropriate’ for Iran’s Men’s team to take part in World Cup – but the women can claim asylum if they want
- UFC fighters are “training the FBI”
- Also, the White House are still s***posting
Here’s what you need to know
1. Donald Trump moans that he can’t call women ‘beautiful’ any more at Women’s History Month event
Donald Trump, the President of the United States of America, moaned to a room full of women visiting the White House to mark Women’s History Month, that he wasn’t allowed to call women “beautiful” any more.
Trump has a long history of visibly and vocally leering at women he found attractive during such events – and has frequently complained that the word “beautiful” is apparently off limits to him in this modern age. But, though, he boasted that leering at women had not, thus far, destroyed his political career.
“I’m not allowed to use the word ‘beautiful’ but I’m using it anyway,” he said. “Usually it’s the end of your political career if you say a woman is a beautiful woman. They say that’s a termination of his career. But somehow it hasn’t hurt too much.”
2. Melania Trump describes herself as a “visionary” in bizarre speech
Melania Trump used her introduction of Donald Trump to plug her movie, Melania, which is now on Amazon Prime, but which you absolutely should not watch because it is garbage. Anyway, her brief speech was pretty weird.
“As a visionary, I know success is not borne overnight,” she said. Yes, she described herself as a “visionary.” She continued: “Often alone at the top, I follow my passion, listen to my instinct, and always maintain a laser focus.”
“In solitude, my creative mind answers, filling my imagination with originality.” Righto.
She also described herself as a “mother, humanitarian, philanthropist and filmmaker” before introducing her husband, the President, whom she said had “demonstrated a strong commitment to promoting women leadership roles.”
Which is true. But it’s also true that he had demonstrated a strong commitment to publicly berating, insulting and attacking women he didn’t like, or who he disagreed with. He was also found liable in court of the sexual abuse and defamation of E Jean Caroll, a woman.
3. Trump says he’s been ‘briefed’ on Detroit synagogue shooting
Trump said he had been “fully briefed” on the synagogue shooting in Detroit earlier today.
“I want to send our love to the Michigan Jewish community and all of the people in Detroit,” he said. “Following the attack on the Jewish synagogue earlier today. I’ve been fully briefed. It’s a terrible thing but it goes on.”
4. He was very careful to note the Iran war was a “different” issue
“On another front,” Trump said. “An entirely different front…The situation with Iran is moving along very rapidly. It’s doing very well.”
Branding Iran “a nation of terror and hate”, he said the country was “paying a big price.”
He did not mention the big price American voters are paying at the pump as a result of his “excursion.”
5. Trump says high oil prices are good for America
Trump’s Truth Social continues to give a window into his bizarre thought processes, and exactly how out of touch he is with regular Americans.
“The United States is the largest Oil Producer in the World, by far,” he wrote this morning. “So when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money.”
OK, so it’s …technically… true that when oil prices go up America’s Oil producers probably do make quite a lot of money, yes.
American consumers, on the other hand, do not.
So it really comes down to who Trump means when he says “we”.
6. Trump says it wouldn’t be ‘appropriate’ for Iran’s Men’s team to take part in World Cup – but the women can claim asylum if they want
Iran has been threatening to yank its football team out of this year’s World Cup tournament, to be jointly held in the US, Canada and Mexico, on the basis that it’d probably be pretty awkward for them to be kicking around a ball in the country that’s bombing your home to smithereens.
Trump seems fairly relaxed about the whole affair, simply warning the team that if they do turn up to play, they might die. “The Iran National Soccer Team is welcome to The World Cup,” he said. “But I really don’t believe it is appropriate that they be there, for their own life and safety. Not at all sinister.
Then later he made another weird post about the women’s team.
“Australia is making a terrible humanitarian mistake by allowing the Iran National Woman’s Soccer team to be forced back to Iran, where they will most likely be killed,” he said. “Don’t do it, Mr. Prime Minister, give ASYLUM. The US will take them if you won’t.”
So the men’s team risk death if they come to the US, but the women’s team would get asylum. Glad we got that straightened out.
7. Trump found the real culprit for the crumbling US economy…
Trump, seemingly eager to deflect any blame possible for the perilous state of the US economy…lashed out at one of his favourite enemies. Federal Reserve chairman Jerome Powell.
“Where is the Federal Reserve Chairman, Jerome “Too Late” Powell, today?” Trump posted. “He should be dropping Interest Rates, IMMEDIATELY, not waiting for the next meeting!”
So while petrol prices are skyrocketing due to Trump’s aimless, probably illegal war in Iran, the real villain is …the guy not fiddling with interest rates.
Again, glad we got that straightened out.
8. UFC fighters are “training the FBI”
Kash Patel, the FBI director last seen partying with his bros in the US hockey team at the Winter Olympics, has announced another barely fathomable link-up with a sports brand.
Mixed martial arts fighters from the UFC are laying on a two day programme of training for serving FBI agents this weekend.
This comes just a few months ahead of the UFC hosting a day of fights on the south lawn of the White House on Donald Trump’s birthday on June 14.
UFC CEO Dana White said the organization is “proud to support the FBI in strengthening their defence techniques.”
FBI officers, serving and former, have noted that the FBI already gives training to its agents in martial arts, and the training is pretty good already thank you.
When Patel first floated the idea last February, it was branded “surreal” and “wacky.” There’s no reason to suspect those views have changed.
9. UN says Trump’s hate speech prompted human rights violations. White House responds: “no-one cares”
The United Nations has published a concerning report, which blames Trump’s “hate speech” towards immigrants may have incited racial discrimination and hate crimes against migrants.
The White House responded to the report in a statement.
“This United Nations assessment is just as useless as their broken escalator, and their extreme bias continues to prove why no one takes them seriously,” White House Spokesperson Olivia Wales said.
“No one cares what the biased United Nations’ so-called ‘experts’ think, because Americans are living in a safer, stronger country than ever before.”
Classy.
10. Speaking of classy, the White House posted another unpleasant hype vide
As the US military investigation heads to what seems like an inevitable conclusion – that a US strike destroyed a school full of children in Iran – the White House hasn’t stopped the memes flowing.
The most recent puerile example shows Iranians as CGI ten-pin bowling pins, holding signs up that say “We won’t stop making nuclear weapons”, intercut with footage of US bowling star Pete Weber bowling strikes while Lynyrd Skynyrd’s dramatically overrated southern rock anthem Free Bird* plays in the background.
They also posted a video along similar lines, but using footage from Nintendo’s Wii Sports bowling – which is notable because it’s at least the third time the Trump administration has used Nintendo IP in memes in the last few weeks. Presumably the edge lords running the US are trying to get a rise out of the notoriously litigious video game company.
* …from which the only good thing to ever come was the sample used in the Fun Lovin’ Criminals’ “Bombin’ the L”. Don’t email me.
