‘I stripped bare and straddled my man however he nonetheless will not have intercourse with me’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Dead beaver

I’m terrified that my boyfriend has stopped fancying me. Either that or he’s got another woman…

What other explanation could there be for the fact that he never wants to make love; and, on the rare occasions I do manage to seduce him, he’s hopeless in the sack?

He’s a good-looking fella, who is always attentive and affectionate in everyday life. But get him anywhere near a bed and he’s about as eager as a dead beaver. We’ve been together for a year.

In the early days I put his lack of spark down to guilt. He hadn’t quite finished things with his ex when he and I first got together.

I suspected he felt bad. But his ex-partner has been off the scene for ages now and still he’s a flop between the sheets. The other night I had a few drinks after work. I staggered home feeling super horny and hungry for fun. I took the lead and attempted to ravish him. I touched him up; tugged on his clothes and virtually offered myself up on a plate. But what did he do?

Complain of a headache and ask me to leave him alone. I was incensed and told him I wasn’t giving up without a fight.

I stripped naked; I pushed him to the floor and straddled him like a woman possessed. Then he got properly angry. He shoved me away and called me deranged. At that point I just lost it and burst into tears; the rejection was so humiliating, and things haven’t been good between us since. I can’t help feeling bitter and angry.

Is the man being straight with me?

JANE SAYS: I’m not surprised you feel confused and unloved. None of take well to rejection, especially when we’re feeling upbeat, bright eyed and horny.

It’s vital that you now have a heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend about how he made you feel that night.

Doesn’t he get it that you’re often left high and dry and that you really don’t like that? Be prepared to listen to his side of the story too, because he may well tell you that being jumped on by a half-cut, sex kitten wasn’t much fun for him either.

The truth is that both of you need to start being honest with each other about what you like and what turns you on. Can you begin again on a fresh footing or are you simply too different to ever click? Are you too overwhelming and pushy? Is he in love with someone else or simply using you in order to impress his parents or a particular boss?

Also ask if he has health or job worries that are affecting his sexual appetite. It would be interesting to hear how things were in the bedroom between him and his ex-partner. This conversation isn’t going to be easy, but you have to find out where you stand.

Promise to support and help him if there are genuine problems. But don’t waste your time if he’s just not into you.

Family at war

My sister hosts Christmas lunch and I do Easter.

But I’m dreading our upcoming family gathering because my relatives will go head-to-head over politics and religion.

Even though I’ve asked them all to park their opinions at the front door, I just know that someone (probably my sister-in-law) will say something contentious and everyone else will pile in. My ageing Dad isn’t well.

All I want is for everyone to get together for his sake. My partner has suggested we ban booze, but I fear I’ll have a mutiny on my hands if I run a dry ship. What else can I do?

JANE SAYS: Surely, it’s a case of ‘your house, your rules’?

If you don’t want alcohol to loosen tongues and upset you and your father on Easter Sunday, then put your foot down. Tell your family that, out of respect to your ailing Dad, you’re only serving soft drinks and water until after she’s gone home.

If, later on in the evening, they still fancy a tipple, then they can go down the pub – and take their opinions with them. Surely, they can all do without booze for a few hours given the current circumstances? Point out that healthy debate is one thing, but there’s nothing more boring – or inappropriate – than a heated political or religious discussion during a family gathering and they should respect everyone else’s feelings.

Toxic temper

Any time I contradict my girlfriend she goes into a massive sulk. I’m sick of the toxic atmosphere in this house. She’s a rising star and hotshot at work who thinks she can throw her weight around here too.

Only I don’t take her rubbish. The minute she starts ranting about money, the house or my family, I give as good as I get.

She doesn’t like that and goes nuclear. At the moment we’re in conflict over me going on a football trip.

How do I get her to understand that I’m not one of her underlings?

JANE SAYS: Your girlfriend needs to learn how to separate business from pleasure.

Your home needs to be a place of sanctuary, love and calm. If she’s wound up after work, then she should take an extra walk around the block in order to calm down before she re-enters the home environment. Does she need to join a gym? Take up meditation or re-think her whole work/life balance? Has she bitten off more than she can chew? Offer to support her but also make it clear that you won’t be used as her personal whipping boy because the tantrums and sulks have to stop. You are entitled to space, respect and a voice.

Secret lovers

My long-term girlfriend has left me for a richer, much older man.

I’ve seen this bloke and he looks like a fossil, yet she’s blinded by his big house and mega bucks. She openly admits that she doesn’t love him – only his cash – but is asking if we can still be friends, or even secret lovers. What’s going on?

JANE SAYS: Do you want to be your ex-girlfriend’s friend or shady lover? Isn’t there the worry that she’d like to use you for sex and her new man for paying the bills? Talk to her and make it clear that you don’t provide a back-up plan service for anyone. What you cannot allow her to do is waste your time and energy and prevent you from living a full life.