‘I’m sleeping with my man’s filthy brother who treats me like filth and denies me orgasms’

If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.

Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

I’m his plaything

My partner thinks I’m madly in love with him, but it’s his sulky brother who has my heart.

I’m the worst woman alive.

I live with a guy who adores me. He washes my clothes, cooks my food and makes love to me with gentleness and care. Yet, the minute his back is turned, I fly into the arms of his edgy brother who treats me like dirt.

I hate myself for being so shallow and weak.

My partner travels a lot, which gives me ample opportunity to bed his bro.

The cad has never said a single kind thing to me in the whole eight months we’ve been intimate, but he only has to snap his fingers and I come running.

We secretly meet up for sex at his grotty flat. The action is dirty, rough and uncompromising – and I love it. He talks about other women he beds and fancies while drilling me, which drives me insane. He also plays wicked games.

He says he’s going to have a ‘selfish’ day and deliberately does things and chooses sexual positions that exclude my pleasure and deny me an orgasm.

He knows that this drives me completely wild with frustration, which makes me even keener to see him again the next time around. Sometimes he spits that I’m not his type and he doesn’t even fancy me. It’s like a kinky vicious circle.

I realise that I am merely one of many women in his life, but even that doesn’t stop me from going weak at the knees whenever he texts or looks my way.

My partner knows nothing of this. He’s not particularly close to his brother who he’s often labelled ‘a rogue’. He’d be devastated to hear that he and I are bonking. Where do I go from here?

JANE SAYS: The fact is that this fling will, inevitably, end badly. How much longer do you think you’re going to be able to keep up the energy and the lying?

Your life is out of control, and you must get a grip before you start to become seriously stressed, humiliated and embarrassed.

You’re currently having sex with another man – your partner’s ghastly brother. Your trusting partner knows nothing of this sleazy arrangement. Not only are you cheating but you’re playing with fire. If you can’t trust yourself to be faithful to your partner; if you’re not completely committed to your relationship; then why are you still with him?

Stop deluding yourself, because your lover is not the slightest bit interested in you. He’s nothing more than an opportunist who is chancing his luck and having his fun.

It’s vital you boot him out and reclaim your sanity. At the moment you’re putting your mental and sexual health in danger. You openly admit that he has other lovers, so who knows what else he’s getting up to behind your back?

There are also the matters of your self-respect and reputation. The sex may be addictive, but I can tell from your tone of your letter that you’re hating yourself right now – and that cannot be good. Time for a complete lifestyle change and overhaul. Agreed?

Money’s too tight

My girlfriend is insisting that we splash out on an exotic holiday. She’s desperate to keep up with her globe-trotting friends. One of her mates has just come back from visiting Sri Lanka – she’s bubbling over with great stories and wonderful pictures. I agree that it all sounds amazing, but we don’t have the funds.

I still owe my parents over £300 from last summer.

The problem is that her mates are a lot wealthier than us. Last September, one of them inherited £65,000 from her late grandmother and is now touring South America. How am I supposed to compete with that?

JANE SAYS: Treats need to be saved for. Your girl must understand that you don’t have the ready cash for far-flung trips and neither does she. Tell her that you’re sorry, but you won’t be pushed into the red on credit cards or further loans for the sake of image. An exotic holiday isn’t a priority, and you’re not prepared to push the boat out for the sake of her wish list – and keeping up with pals.

If that results in you both having a long overdue conversation about your individual values, then fine. But she must realise that you are no soft touch and that you refuse to be plunged into unnecessary debt for anyone – even her.

Chinny reckon

I recently found a jumbo packet condoms in my boyfriend’s work bag. Four were missing. I waved them under his nose demanding to know what was going on. He laughed and told me to calm down. He said that he was looking after them for a friend. Apparently, a married colleague is having a rip-roaring affair with one of the women from admin. They bonk in his car (in the underground car park) every afternoon. The guy’s paranoid wife is prone to checking his pockets, car and bags for evidence of cheating, so my man hangs onto the rubbers instead. Do you believe any of that?

JANE SAYS: The bottom line is that someone is clearly having sex with someone else because several condoms are missing from a large pack. If you don’t buy your boyfriend’s story and, I must confess that it does sound far-fetched, then go back to him and tell him that you need the truth.

Is he cheating on you? If he’s playing away from home, then he needs to find the guts to tell you where you stand. Warn him that, if he’s not willing to come clean, that you will take this further and question his colleagues because you refuse to be jerked about.

Time of his life

My mother died last September and now my father (55) is spending money on several, younger ‘girlfriends’. I’m disgusted. I’m convinced that these lovers are simply shameless gold diggers who are out to rinse him.

He says I’ve got it all wrong because they genuinely care for him. I love him but can’t stand the selfish way he’s behaving.

JANE SAYS: You may not approve of the way your father is carrying on but it’s his money and his life and, maybe, this is his way of dealing with his grief.

I know it’s tough but try not to fall out over this. Your father may not be perfect, but who is? Life is precious and very short. Tell him that you’re concerned, and always around to help, but then respect his position.