‘Horny boss expects kinky intercourse and treats me like a chunk of meat – I’m sick of it’

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Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.

From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.

If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

I’m expected to pay

My boss expects to have sex with me.

We have an agreement. If I keep him happy, then he looks out for and protects me in the workplace. Usually, we bonk in his boss’s office, after hours, a couple of times a month. We sneak back up after the pub.

But it’s his birthday next month. He’ll spend the day with his long-suffering wife but, the next night, he will expect me to book a fancy hotel room (which I’ll have to pay for). There he’ll demand room service, champagne and full sex.

He’ll expect full-body massages, oral sex and kinky games. He’ll get me to bathe him, flatter him and tell him that he’s the best lover in the world. It’s the price I pay for keeping my job for another year. I’m already dreading the very thought of it.

It’s the same pattern every year. I endure an entire night of sex with him and walk away in the morning knowing that I’ll be able to pay my bills for another twelve months. But I just don’t know if I can go through it all again this year.

I used to be impressed by his power and clout. I was turned on by his flash attitude. I got a thrill knowing that he’d picked me out of all the attractive women in the office and that I was a sexier version of his poor wife.

He still tells me that I am his dream girl but there is no suggestion of him leaving her for me and he uses me like a piece of meat.

Now this annual shame is nothing but an endurance test – and I hate myself for being so weak. I want to tell him to stuff it, but I need this salary.

JANE SAYS: Presumably you’re frightened that if you don’t have sex with your boss, then he’ll turn nasty and you’ll lose your job, but this has gone far enough.

I bet even he can’t believe that he’s still getting away with this nonsense. You’ve got to be strong and finally tell him, ‘no more’. Get in now and make it clear that you’ve had enough. This arrangement needs to be put out of its misery and you’re the one doing it. He may be the man who signs off your wages, but that doesn’t entitle him to sex both in and out of the office.

I hate the idea of you rocking up to some fancy hotel (that you pay for) for a long night of soulless sex.

I hope that if you front him up – and tell him ‘no more’ that he’ll see sense and back off.

Surely, he has a lot more to lose than you? He’s a married man in a position of power and trust. He’s abused his position for far too long. I wonder what his superiors would think of this tawdry arrangement. What you can’t do is allow yourself to be compromised any longer.

If there’s the slightest hint of a threat or blackmail, then go to another boss – and the police. Then I strongly suggest you start looking for a new position on your own terms. Learn from this and never give yourself away again. You’re better than this.

Love is blind

Sex with my boyfriend is hot but I don’t understand why he always wears a blindfold in bed. Does the sight of my naked body repulse him? Does he like to pretend that I’m someone else whenever we have intercourse?

It’s got to the point where he won’t allow me to get undressed until he’s naked, in bed, with his blasted black mask on.

We’ve been sleeping together for about four months and there’s a definite feeling of separation between us. Yes, I orgasm every time we make love but sex with him doesn’t feel authentic. Is there something wrong with me?

JANE SAYS: I strongly urge you to speak to your boyfriend away from the bedroom when you’re both feeling relaxed and calm. Explain that you’re confused by the whole blindfold thing. Why does he feel the need to black out everything around him during sex? Does he fancy you? Does the sight of your body not sufficiently turn him on? Is there something he’d like to tell you? You cannot allow him to fob you off. Sadly, if he doesn’t appreciate the healthy, beautiful, unique person you are because his mind is a million miles away, then you and he have no future. Never let anyone bring you down or make you doubt your relevance and goodness. He sounds like a man with a lot of unresolved issues.

Party animals

My new boyfriend’s pals ruined my recent 30th birthday party.

Six of them turned up (drunk) and were a complete nightmare. They threw food and bottles and insulted my guests. At one point, two of them got into my bedroom and pulled out my underwear. They proceeded to try it on and throw it around. It was all ruined.

Now my boyfriend is angry with me for being upset. He accuses me of overreacting and having a ‘sense of humour failure’. How does that work?

JANE SAYS: If your boyfriend can’t see how badly they behaved, then he is he is not for you. Does he have any plans to repay you for those ruined undies?

Sadly he, and his idiot friends, showed their true colours on that fateful night. They proved that they neither respect your feelings nor your property. I suggest you dump him, apologise to your true friends and start again. It could be that the mob were jealous of your place and were determined to spoil it and bring you down a peg or two.

Life’s too short for that kind of rubbish. Take your time before dating again or inviting anyone you don’t know into the sanctuary of your home.

She’s lost touch

My girlfriend has reinvented herself. She’s fit and wearing fashionable clothes. Suddenly she considers me beneath her. We never have sex and she won’t snog me. All I’m good for is driving her around and buying her stuff. She treats me like scum and I hate the vain, entitled person she’s become.

How do I change her back?

JANE SAYS: You need to tell your self-obsessed girlfriend that you’re not taking any more of her cheek. Today she’s fit and groomed but she managed to lose her manners along the way.

Good for her for shaping up, but nothing gives her the right to take you for granted.

Tell her that she needs to remember who is on her side. If she can’t behave like a decent, civilised human being, then you’re off.