Woman, 24, embraces celibacy as she was sick of being ‘forged apart’ after hook-ups
An influencer said she has chosen the road of celibacy after getting tired of the ‘temporary validation’ from dating, although she admits fighting temptation can be difficult
Jasmine Gonzalez, 24
A woman chose celibacy at age 21 after growing weary of the “temporary validation” casual encounters provided her.
Jasmine Gonzalez, 24, made the decision to embrace celibacy two and a half years ago, having become fed up with men who would sleep with her before discarding her. The snowboarder, from Las Vegas, Nevada in the US, came to understand if a bloke genuinely wanted to be with her, he wouldn’t attempt to kiss her immediately.
She said that instead, he would wait until he knew her properly before pursuing intimacy. The content creator said she will now only sleep with someone if she is in a committed relationship with them.
Jasmine has revealed at times she has found her celibacy journey challenging. But despite the hurdles she has stated it has helped her to determine whether she actually fancies someone, rather than just lusting after them.
The likes of Maura Higgins and Tulisa have recently spoken out about their decision to be celibate with the former X Factor judge saying the thought of sleeping with someone makes her feel “physically sick”. Jasmine said: “When I was younger, I didn’t know love without touch.
“I thought that if a boy liked me, and kissed me, I would become his girlfriend, but time and time again, that didn’t happen. I wanted to be wanted, and craved temporary validation.
“As I got older, I realised that good guys are the ones that don’t just want to hook up, and want to commit before doing anything sexual. If they don’t try and kiss me before the third date, I now know that they have good intentions.
“I now won’t sleep with anyone unless I am in a relationship with them, and I haven’t dated anyone for two and a half years, so in that time I have been celibate.”
Jasmine added: “It can be hard sometimes, but I have to remember why I’m doing it. It helps me to realise what people want from me.
“When I tell men I’m celibate, I think it makes them respect me more. I think more women are choosing to be celibate nowadays because we’re tired of the games. We no longer want temporary validation and random hook-ups.”
When Jasmine was a teenager, she believed that if a boy showed interest, and kissed her she would become his girlfriend. But she grew increasingly frustrated when it repeatedly didn’t happen and she was tossed aside.
Jasmine said: “You would think I would have learned from it.” Then, when she was 20, Jasmine met a boy who told her that he didn’t want to be physically intimate with her, until she committed to him.
She added: “I thought it was so abnormal that a boy wouldn’t want to do anything sexual with me without me being his girlfriend.” The pair ended up dating for a year and a half, and after they broke up, Jasmine decided she was only going to date men with similar values to him, who did not want to be intimate with her until they had decided to commit.
She now won’t sleep with anyone unless they are in a relationship. And since she hasn’t dated anyone in two and a half years she has been celibate for that period.
Jasmine added she does not even go on dates, as she wants to get to know someone deeply as a friend first, before dating them. She said: “I have to know their mind and soul before I become physically attracted to them.
“I want to be friends with somebody and learn who they are as a person, how they carry themselves, how they talk to a waiter, then once I know them inside and out, it can lead to something else.”
Although Jasmine said it can sometimes be hard not to give in to temptation, celibacy helps her to have a clear head and make a decision on whether she likes someone for their personality, rather than just their looks. Jasmine is very open about her celibacy and said when she tells men about it, they are usually very respectful.
She said: “Being celibate takes the pressure off, because I know nothing will happen until I’m really committed.”
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