‘My youngsters begged me to not die after 10 pints-a-day behavior nearly gave me coronary heart assault’

WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT Dean Cooper, 46, from Cornwall says he was drinking up to 10 pints a day to cope with work stress and family pressure – and how a near-fatal collapse and his children’s desperate plea changed everything

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A father has revealed how years of stress and addiction left him contemplating suicide – and how he managed to turn his life around.

Dean Cooper says workplace pressure and family responsibilities led him to alcohol, and he would frequently visit the pub “just to drown the noise”, escalating to a concerning 10-pints-a-day dependency.

The 46-year-old’s health began deteriorating and he could see no escape, until a life-threatening collapse compelled him to transform his way of living – with his children pleading with him not to die. “From the outside, I looked fine – I had a high-level job, and was providing for my family, performing, delivering,” Dean, from Lewannick, Cornwall, told Creatorzine.

“I was the guy holding everything together while quietly falling apart. I knew I was slowly destroying myself, but I didn’t feel it in the way you’d expect.

“I was shouting and screaming, but it was like being in a soundproof room where even I couldn’t hear myself.”

The father-of-two was battling to juggle his high-pressure role as an IT director, which required a gruelling daily commute, alongside his domestic duties.

Managing two young children, one of whom has autism and ADHD, plus the “constant unpredictability” of his existence left Dean sensing there was never a genuine chance to recuperate. Lengthy shifts at work frequently meant he wouldn’t arrive home until 11pm, where his wife Chantal, 48, and children also required attention, and with no extended family nearby to lend a hand, he found himself overwhelmed – and resorted to alcohol as an “off switch”.

Following an incident at a gymnastics centre in 2019, which resulted in a shattered collarbone, a dislocated shoulder and requiring a plate to be inserted to repair it, Dean spent months on the mend.

Yet his previously moderate drinking pattern started to escalate dramatically during this period.

While it began as a single drink each evening, as his anxiety levels increased, so did his consumption – with Dean eventually downing 10 pints on a typical night.

He said: “Alcohol became the way I silenced everything – the pressure, the noise, the pain, and the emptiness at the same time. Outside of my wife, I don’t think people really saw it.

“People don’t see the cracks if you’re good at hiding them – and culturally, especially as a man, you don’t talk about it.”

Dean revealed there was even a fleeting moment when he contemplated taking his own life in 2020 – yet even that failed to break the pattern.

He said: “I was standing on a train platform and for a split second, I almost stepped forward.

“It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t thought through, it was just there – an impulse. But I stepped back, I caught myself and I phoned my wife.

“I just said ‘I get it now’, she said ‘what? get what?’ and I said ‘why people jump’. [I told her] I just caught the thought in my mind.

“I sat on the bench, finished my Red Bull, carried on talking, told her I was OK. My wife knew I was under pressure, but I don’t think she knew how close I was in that moment.”

Dean reveals his behaviour was affecting his family without him even realising.

He would still play with his children, prepare dinner when possible – but he’d do it with a drink in his hand.

He said: “They didn’t just have a dad who was present, they had a dad they watched coping.

“So there are gaps; not in memories for them, they still had good moments, good experiences, but for me there are gaps, that I deeply regret now that I have clarity and happiness.”

While avoiding alcohol during daylight hours, the father was getting by on caffeine and depending on beer to see him through most evenings.

Dean said: “It wasn’t just a few – it was anywhere between four and 10 cans most days, sometimes more depending on stress before the worse later stages.

“[I’d spend] probably around £20 a day at times on alcohol.

“I have done long term damage to my body, but with focus and understanding that I was worth saving and my children needed me, I beat the craving – [and] also the mental fear of dying.”