Mum wakes with bruises throughout physique – then evil companion’s secret unravels

WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT: Amanda Stanhope was raped by her partner while unconscious from taking sleeping tablets – and he would mock her every morning with chilling words

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A courageous mother has revealed the shocking abuse she endured from her former fiancé – who spent years raping her while she was unconscious after taking sleeping medication.

Amanda Stanhope was initially completely unaware of what was happening to her – and her partner would taunt her each morning with the sinister phrase: “You had a good night last night.”

This left her utterly bewildered and she started to worry she might have Alzheimer’s disease because she couldn’t recall being intimate with her partner mere hours earlier.

The concern consumed her thoughts to such an extent that she was ultimately diagnosed with pseudodementia by a medical professional – while her partner was fully aware of the disturbing reality.

He was subsequently charged with four counts of rape and one of assault by penetration by Greater Manchester Police – however, he took his own life before facing trial.

Amanda, who hails from Manchester, has now shared her devastating ordeal from the start.

How they met

Amanda was a mother-of-two when she encountered the man who would later turn her existence into a nightmare. She was out dancing with her daughter when she spotted an unfamiliar man at the bar staring straight at her.

Speaking on the Anything Goes with James English podcast, she explained: “He just stared. When I say stared – more like glared. He just obsessively stared all night. And I thought, ‘I’ve never quite met anyone like him.'”

This behaviour persisted for around four hours before he finally approached her and kissed her without uttering a single word. Despite his peculiar conduct, Amanda insisted he possessed charm and self-assurance.

However, she subsequently discovered he was married and informed him she wanted no further involvement with him. Within weeks, the man claimed he had abandoned his wife and was sleeping on a mate’s sofa.

Amanda said she was “gobsmacked” and eventually offered for him to move in with her after feeling sorry for him. It proved to be the most catastrophic decision of her life.

Warning signs

Amanda, who had worked as an interior designer for years, was utterly besotted with her new boyfriend, and the initial three months were beyond anything she had previously experienced. He would prepare meals and shower her with praise, leaving her convinced they were “soulmates” — but then everything suddenly shifted.

They were out with her mates and she was dancing with a friend when he suddenly “roughly grabbed” her arm and “literally yanked” her away before hauling her into the car park.

She recalled: “I was in utter shock. I was speechless. I was like, ‘What’s happening?’ Then he absolutely laid into me verbally about how I embarrassed him. What did I think I was doing? I made him look stupid dancing with another man. I had no idea where it came from.”

Amanda said her instincts urged her to walk away, but the relationship continued for another five years.

Raped while sleeping

The mum said matters took an even more sinister turn one year into the relationship. Due to her treatment within the relationship, where countless lovely evenings were destroyed by jealousy, she discovered herself struggling to sleep and experiencing depression.

She received prescriptions for antidepressants and sleeping medication.

Throughout this period, her partner would drop revolting subtle suggestions, and she recalled: “We’d go and have a coffee and… oh it was awful. I completely remember. He’d go, ‘You had a good time last night.’

“And I’d sit there and think… ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ None at all. I’d rack my brains. And he did that daily. But I didn’t realise what he was doing.

“I was thinking we must have had sex and I had fallen asleep. It was weird, I didn’t think he was doing that (rape). I just thought, ‘I’m on sleeping tablets, obviously we’ve started and I’ve just fallen asleep.’ But I was more worried that I couldn’t remember than what he was actually potentially doing.”

Amanda shortly began discovering bruises across her arms and legs and would awaken with a towel positioned beneath her – despite never placing it there herself.

She explained: “Nothing was clear. I spent months trying to work it out. I thought I had Alzheimer’s. It was that bad.”

Caught in the act

Two years later, Amanda, utterly devastated by the relationship, received a diagnosis of pseudodementia, a condition where individuals can exhibit dementia-like symptoms, though the reversible trigger is frequently connected to depression and psychological wellbeing.

Utterly exhausted, Amanda described her partner as a “monster” when his mood altered, and she recalled being “crucified” in a hotel room during a weekend getaway.

She said it was her darkest moment and she ended up consuming more sleeping tablets than recommended to “escape the mental torture” he was subjecting her to. Shortly after, her “panicked” partner was lifting her from the floor, and he even dialled for an ambulance.

However, she recalled: “This is the worst. I came round to him like slapping me, and having horny sex with me. Obviously, I couldn’t move. I thought I was in a nightmare. I didn’t know if I was dead at that point.

“I remember lying there thinking ‘I can’t actually believe what he’s doing’ because he was getting off on my pain and I’d taken an overdose and was waiting for an ambulance and it was that moment where I thought there’s something very very wrong with him. Very wrong.”

She said she knew she had to eventually leave him, but at the time the mum described being completely broken with no strength.

After what happened, she could still not say the word raped, because she was at that point unaware that you could be raped by a partner. However, she confronted him about what he did while she was unconscious, and he apologised, saying it would never happen again.

Police

One year later, Amanda woke up to the horror of her fiancé raping her once more, before it happened yet again.

She revealed: “I don’t believe he ever stopped at all because I still had the weird bruises. I was getting worse illness wise, memory loss, I look back on photos and I don’t even know the woman I became.”

Explaining why she didn’t leave, she said: “I was just surviving at this point. I couldn’t even make sense of anything any more. I was literally in survival mode. That was it. I just had to get through another day to survive another day.”

The mother likened her experience to being a prisoner and described enduring relentless emotional torment.

Eventually, she declared the relationship over, to which he responded by threatening suicide. Out of pity, she allowed him to sleep on the sofa, only to wake up in her own bed to him sexually assaulting her.

It was following this harrowing incident that she mustered the courage to report him to the police.

However, it took two years and three months for charges to be filed against him, before he took his own life six weeks later.

Reflecting on her feelings, she expressed: “I was so angry because of what he put me through. I’d gone through all that with the police for nothing. And I knew that he was never going to be held accountable for what he did. I was so angry.”

A spokesperson for Greater Manchester Police stated: “It is to our regret that Ms Stanhope did not get to see justice fully served at the end of this awful ordeal. We have written to her to apologise for areas where our service fell below that she had every right to expect.

“This is a serious and abhorrent crime that we are increasingly alive to and we want potential victims to approach us with the utmost confidence that we will investigate all reports at the victim’s pace with a clear determination to bring offenders to justice.

“We have made changes to improve our timeliness on investigations of such a serious nature and to ensure the best possible service to victims so that we can help secure them the most satisfactory outcome.”

Campaign

Amanda felt strong enough to share her story after taking inspiration from the courageous Gisele Pelicot.

And she has now teamed up with Zoe Watts who was raped by her husband while she slept — before he gave a sickening excuse for filming it.

Their campaign is called #EndEyeCheck and it is tackling a system that allows men to get away with drugging and raping their other halves.

A powerful opening statement on the website, which you can visit here, reads: “An online academy is training men how to drug and rape their wives. We’re two survivors and we’re taking on the system that enables it.”

If you or somebody you know has been affected by this story, contact Victim Support for free, confidential advice on 08 08 16 89 111 or visit their website, http://www.victimsupport.org.uk