Simple ‘job’ trick can calm youngsters throughout scary well being appointments, knowledgeable says
A child psychologist has shared seven tips to help kids stay calm at health check-ups
Health appointments can be frightening if you don’t know what to expect(Image: Getty Images)
Child psychologist Professor Sam Wass has shared seven tips to help children stay calm during health appointments that can feel scary, such as the dentist, eye tests and vaccinations. He says children often feel nervous because their brains are naturally cautious about things they don’t know or understand.
To help, he suggests giving your child a small ‘job’ to focus on during the appointment. That could be counting pictures on the wall or spotting different colours in the room. Having something to do can distract them from their worries.
He also recommends helping children feel prepared by letting them be the ‘expert’ before the visit. You can ask them what they think will happen, or act it out at home by role-playing doctor, dentist or optician.
Children are often scared because they don’t know what to expect(Image: Getty Images)
Wass says appointments feel less frightening when children know what to expect, because not knowing is often what makes them anxious.
He said: “It’s completely normal for children to feel nervous about healthcare appointments, especially if it’s their first time. But these check-ups are important for healthy development.”
The advice comes during National Eye Health Week. Wass has teamed up with Specsavers to create a free online sight prompt for parents and their 3 to 4-year-olds to do together, as a first step towards booking an eye test.
Another tip, especially before eye tests, is to turn looking into a game. Encourage children to spot letters, colours, shapes or objects. This helps them get used to the kinds of things they may be asked to do in an eye test, making it feel more familiar and boosting confidence.
Wass added that fixing eyesight problems early can help children learn better and improve their confidence and wellbeing.
Eye tests are vital for spotting signs of poor eye health(Image: Specsavers)
The tips follow a survey of 1,000 parents of 3–5-year-olds. It found anxiety can stop children having eye tests: 7% of parents said they delayed booking one because they thought their child would find it scary.
Almost half of parents (49%) said they had noticed signs that could suggest eyesight problems, including sitting very close to screens (20%) and rubbing eyes often (20%).
Among parents whose children had had an eye test, 45% said their child was scared beforehand. The main worries were that it might hurt (42%), not knowing what would happen (34%), and feeling nervous about meeting the optician (28%).
Jill Campbell, head of clinical performance at Specsavers, said: “We know that anxiety around health appointments is a real concern for many parents, and eye tests are often viewed as daunting.
“But they are vital – they can help identify issues that might otherwise go unnoticed and impact a child’s learning and development.
“Our campaign aims to remove the fear factor and show families there really is ‘No Scaries in Sight’.”
PROFESSOR SAM WASS’ TOP TIPS FOR KEEPING KIDS CALM:
1. Rehearse it before you go – let them be the expert
Young brains predict what’s next, then update when reality differs. With no prior experience, everything is a surprise – and the surprise is treated as threat. Playing optician at home gives kids a rough script to run so by the time they arrive, the room has stopped being unknown.
2. Tell them what it will feel like, not just what will happen
Most parents describe the sequence of events and stop there. But what children really want to know is strikingly consistent: will it hurt, will I feel scared, and how do I stay calm. Sensory information – the chin rest is cool, the room goes dim – prevents any unexpected sensations that turn manageable moments into frightening ones.
3. Give them real choice
One key driver of anxiety is not feeling in control. Letting a child make choices – which chair, which order, whether you hold their hand – can shift an experience from something being done to them to something they are doing. Keep the choices real and narrow – a choice you’ll overrule is worse than none.
4. Give them a job
Distraction is a powerful tool – but it works best with a goal attached. “Count how many animals you can spot” occupies attention more reliably than “don’t think about it” – because attention needs somewhere to go. Give the job before the anxiety starts and make it specific enough to have an answer.
5. Reassurance can backfire
This is the most counterintuitive finding – and the most useful. When parents repeat “it’s okay, don’t worry,” children rate their parents as more frightened than when parents distract them. Heavy reassurance can signal that there is something worth being reassured about. Say less and say it lightly.
6. Think about sensory load in the waiting room
Waiting areas can be the hardest part: bright lighting, echo, screens, strangers, no clear sense of timing. You can’t redesign the waiting room, but arrive close to the appointment time, sit somewhere quieter, make sure the child knows what time it is, and how long you will have to wait.
7. Time the preparation to the child
More warning is not always better. Tell a three-year-old a week ahead and they’ll probably forget. For preschoolers, the day before or the morning of is usually right; older children can do better with more notice. Match the detail to how much they are actually asking for.
