‘I am unable to cease dishonest – I simply love threesomes, foursomes and orgies’
If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email [email protected]. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Old habits die hard
I can’t stop getting off with other women. My wife is furious with me. My problem is that I go out for a few bevvies with the boys I grew up with, get tipsy, and then forget that I’m spoken for. I spot a girl I fancy and can’t resist the thrill of the chase. The old chat-up lines trip off my tongue like honey and before I know it, I’m getting stuck in. I’m a good-looking bloke and it’s not unusual for me to have threesomes, foursomes and orgies with my conquests too.
I wake up the next morning feeling like death. I vow never to cheat again but then let myself down a fortnight or a month later. My wife knew that I used to be a player when she married me in July 2025. I swore, during my wedding vows, that I would never let her down. But I have. Time and time again. Now she’s saying that she doesn’t know if she can say with me. She loves me but hates how I behave – and I don’t blame her.
I hate myself for getting drunk and cheating. What’s wrong with me? How do I change this destructive behaviour. My wife owns a luxury house and has a great income. I live in fear of losing everything.
JANE SAYS: Face facts and start accepting that you simply can’t drink alcohol because it makes you lose your inhibitions – and your sense. The booze gives you false confidence. You lose perspective and cross a line. What has your new wife ever done to deserve this level of betrayal and deceit? You’ve been married for a short while, yet you let yourself, and your wife down, every time you step out of line. I suggest you start today and attempt to put your house in order. Go and see your GP regarding your drinking in general and your sexual health in particular.
Would you benefit from counselling?
Sadly, if you don’t make some serious changes then this marriage is doomed. It doesn’t matter how wonderful your home is or how much you appreciate your wife’s salary, if you can’t be trusted then you’re in danger of being the architect of your own downfall.
A trip too far
I’ve just received invitation to another foreign wedding. This one is going to be in Portugal in September.
How much is that going to cost me?
From the air fare and the hotel to the clothes and the present I don’t think I’ll get much change out of £7000 and for what? I don’t even know the groom, and the bride is simply a girl I knew growing up. In the last three years I’ve travelled to Spain, Italy and Greece for weddings.
My Mum keeps saying that I should attend this because she’s friends with the bride’s mum – but I’m not.
JANE SAYS: I’m sure that the bride is determined to make the occasion as slick and fancy as possible, but you cannot get into debt for the sake of her ego. You’ve already spent a fortune attending other weddings around the world and now you must put your foot down. Get in now and tell her in advance that you won’t be able to make it because finances don’t allow.
Don’t lie or attempt to make a fancy excuse; simply tell the truth. If she or your mother fly into a strop, then that will be very unfortunate, but everyone has their limit and you need to accept that you’ve reached yours.
Professional pain
A bullying colleague is constantly on my back. I can’t move without her checking my work and making trouble. We all make mistakes and I live in fear of her criticising – or even reporting me.
In the past few months, she’s complained about me being late (I witnessed a road traffic accident); taking a long lunch break (I had food poisoning) and leaving work early (I was carrying out a task for our MD). I thought that I’d be able to win this person over with hard work and professionalism. But if anything, she seems to hate me more now than ever. What is her problem?
JANE SAYS: I’m in no doubt that your revolting colleague feels threatened by you. Otherwise, why would she be so keen to bring you down? I suspect she has zero self-worth and feels jealous and frightened of your talent. You intimidate her and make her fear for her job – probably because you’re nicer, more professional and better than she is.
Is it worth getting her on her own and pointing out that you’re all on the same side? You’re not in competition or interested in crushing her. Suggest you work together as a team, because you’re not prepared to put up with anymore of her rubbish. However, do warn her that you will not be intimidated and that you are keeping a diary and will make a formal complain to your boss if necessary. You haven’t done anything wrong and don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.
Dirty laundry
I don’t understand why my new partner expects me to wash and clean for him. He moved in here last November and I told him from the start that I don’t iron. Yet, several times he’s gone into a strop when he’s needed a clean shirt. We both work full time. How is his laundry my problem?
JANE SAYS: Clearly you need to go back to basics with your partner so that he understands, once and for all, that you will not be pigeon-holed. He may believe that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, but if you’d rather boil your own head than wash and iron his stuff, then he needs to realise that you won’t be bullied or worn down. I suggest he grows up and starts taking responsibility for his own stuff.
