Jeremy Clarkson desires to be ‘good like Gary Lineker’ however admits it will be ‘exhausting’

The Clarkson’s Farm host says he has ‘liked’ being hailed a “national treasure” since revealing he has cancer and may want to copy the ex-England football captain

Jeremy Clarkson said he would like to be “kind” and “tolerant” like Gary Lineker – but it might be too “exhausting”.

The Clarkson’s Farm host said he had loved receiving “boxes and boxes of letters and cards” from “well-wishers all over the world” after revealing he is battling prostate cancer. He said folk called him a “national treasure”, wanted to see him ‘knighted’ and “carried around in a sedan chair by six greased eunuchs”.

“And here’s what I found strange – I liked it,” said the straight-talking former Top Gear presenter. “Being seen as a nice person rather than a troublemaker was just so relaxing. For the past few weeks I’ve been wondering if maybe, at the age of 66, I should become an adult.

“A kind person, a tolerant person. Which of course, brings me on to Gary Lineker. I should explain that I’ve always liked Gary. Of course, we’ve never agreed on much.”

He said when the 65-year-old ex-England star and Match Of The Day presenter recently appeared on a podcast discussing the England v Argentina World Cup semi-final he referred to “the Falklands or the Malvinas”.

‘Malvinas’ is the Argentinian name for the Brit-run islands the South American country’s leaders insist they should control. Clarkson, 66, said: “As you’d expect this caused something of a stir so he was later forced to admit that he was simply being diplomatic.

“And as a man who now craves the quiet life I thought, ‘yes, that’s what I must do from now on’. So when I next go to Berlin I must say that I’m going to ‘Germany or Deutschland’.

“And when I next visit the Uffizi I must say I’m visiting ‘Florence or Firenze’, having crossed the ‘English Channel or La Manche’ and used the motorway or autoroute. Sounds like being Gary could well be very time consuming.

“And exhausting, because if I don’t want to cause offence to anyone, ever, I must consider the food I eat, the shoes I wear, the holidays I take, the newspapers I read, the expressions I use, the political views I hold, the friends I keep, the car I drive, the actors I admire and the views I may or may not hold on Gaza and Hamas.

“But here’s the thing. Offering up your left cheek to be slapped after someone has hit the other one is something Jesus and Gary Lineker would have us do to de-escalate conflict. But if you’re someone like me, who’s spent his life throwing rocks in ponds to watch the ripples it creates, it’s bl***y difficult.

“I get it. It’s warm and fuzzy to be admired and loved for your kindness and your tolerance. I’ve certainly loved the last few weeks of not being in trouble for anything. But it’s unrealistic.

“When I’m filming on the farm we have to turn the cameras off every time a light aircraft flies over and we can’t get going again until its noisy little engine is out of earshot.

“Jesus and Gary would ask me to take some deep breaths until November when the weather is bad enough to keep these selfish b*******, sorry, ‘people’ on the ground. But I was out there last week in the sunshine and we were having to stop all the time and I was consumed with a need to find out where the pilots lived so that I could go round to their houses that night and set fire to them.

“Yes, I’d lose my national treasure status. But at least I could get some work done.”

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