Greg Wise reveals his marriage to Emma Thompson was ‘dislocated’ by their ‘brutal’ IVF journey as he credit remedy with ‘saving’ their relationship

Greg Wise has revealed he turned to therapy to save his marriage to wife Emma Thompson, after their ‘brutal’ IVF journey left their relationship ‘dislocated.’ 

The couple became parents to their daughter Gaia, 26, through the gruelling process after struggling to start a family, and the actor has now shared the toll it took on them.

Greg, 60, shared that he and Emma, 67, had been together for four years when they decided to start a family, and she found out she was pregnant on her 40th birthday.

But the actor admitted that the IVF process brought ‘baggage’ and he felt both he and Emma were perceived as a failures for being unable to have a child naturally, and having just one daughter.

He said: ‘We been together for three, four years and decided we wanted to start a family. Realised that we couldn’t. 

‘Did the tests, went to New York to do the IVF. Saw a four-celled large collection there. I think three were put back in.

‘I think almost exactly on her 40th birthday, we found that she was pregnant, and this four-celled thing became our daughter.’

Speaking on Elizabeth Day’s How To Fail podcast, Greg said he and Emma tried and ‘failed’ to have another child.

He added: ‘It’s brutal, IVF, and it brings so much baggage with it. It’s the most authentic feeling of failure ever because this is why we’re here. 

‘We are here to procreate, and you’re not a man if you can’t, and you’re not a woman if you can’t. And we’re brought up with the fables that all boys grow up to be fathers and all girls grow up to be mothers.

‘It took us a very long time to dig ourselves out of that hole. We didn’t get help with it. At the same time, we had our gorgeous daughter. 

‘So the pull of that, the exquisite love we felt for her and then the jarring pain that we wouldn’t be able to provide her with a sibling and for us to have another child. It took a long time to dig ourselves out of that hole.’

Greg added it took a ‘while’ for him and Emma to rebuild their relationship, saying: ‘It was Gaia. Here we are. We are a family. 

‘We do have a child that we love. We are this shape. I think we also bring with us the idea of what a family should look like by the family that we came from.

‘We both came from families of two siblings. That’s a family. That’s what it looks like. Mum, Dad, two kids. We’ve only got one. 

‘We’re not a family. We’ve failed. It takes a time, it takes a while. Of course, with a little person, your heart is so open. The dripping love you feel for this little, tiny thing helped heal.

‘Therapy saved my life. It saved our marriage, without a doubt. Without a doubt. I would not be sitting here without therapy.’

In 2003, Greg and Emma went on to adopt their son Tindyebwa ‘Tindy’ Agaba Wise, a Rwandan orphan who was 16 at the time.

Emma and Greg met in 1995 while filming the period drama Sense and Sensibility. 

They dated for eight years before they tied the knot in 2003. 

Emma was previously married to Kenneth Branagh from 1989 to 1995. 

Gaia has since following in her parents’ footsteps by pursiing a film career.

She made her acting debut in the BBC series Silent Witness – where she played university student Jo Reynolds whose mother, the controversial health secretary, is assassinated – sparking the interest of forensic pathologists.

Last year she landed her first big break by starring in the anime feature film The Lord Of The Rings: The War Of The Rohirrim.

In 2021, Gaia detailed her three-year battle with anorexia – and credited her parents for saving her life by staging an emergency intervention.

She developed anorexia aged 16 which left her so thin she was unable to even sit on a chair without it being painful. She was later admitted to rehab in 2017.

She spoke out about her illness for the first time with The Sun on Sunday, saying: ‘Anorexia makes you really good at gaslighting people, making it sound like they’re insane. My parents would say, “Gaia, we heard you working out at 3am.” And I’d say, “No you didn’t, it was just the house moving. I was asleep.”‘

Gaia spoke of how Greg, Emma, her family, including brother Tindy and best friend gathered together for an intervention, with Gaia agreeing to a three-month rehab stint after Greg said: ‘I don’t know where my child is any more.’

Adding that it was a ‘kick in the teeth’ she added: ‘I had to listen to the people I loved most in the world who, at the time, I’d really forgotten about, tell me what I was doing.’

She said: ‘That’s when I said I’d go to rehab. I went on December 29, 2017, and stayed for three months. Since then I’ve had a lot of therapy — and I’ll always be grateful for that, because it saved my life.’

How to Fail with Elizabeth Day is available whereever you get your podcasts.