Goalie who was a part of Vinnie Jones’ Crazy Gang battled thugs in Singapore jail

Once part of Wimbledon’s infamous crazy gang, this week’s footie maverick spent more than 100 days in one of Asia’s most dangerous prisons, and says he got used to being ‘punched in the face’.

The word journeyman doesn’t quite cut it when describing the extraordinary career of German shot-stopper Lutz Pfannenstiel.

The long-haired Bavarian’s career spanned from South Africa to Canada, and almost everywhere else in between, winning him a Guinness World Record in the process.

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Incredibly, the now 51-year-old’s escapades off the pitch were just as barmy as his time on it.

From late-night zoo heists, to death and resurrection on the pitch, this is the incredible story of football’s greatest globe-trotter.

Crazy Gang antics

Typical of his radical location changes, In ’94 Lutz Pfannenstiel left Malaysian side Penang F.C. to join Wimbledon.

The side’s infamous crazy gang was still in full effect, and Vinnie Jones and co had no trouble introducing their new German colleague to the Wimbledon way of life.

In his book ‘The Unstoppable Keeper’, Pfannenstiel reminisces on his time in South-West London. In one shocking story, he describes the time his Wimbledon colleagues stole all his clothes while on a winter run, leaving the sheepish keeper to sprint home in the nude.

“I had to run naked past people taking their dogs for a walk,” Pfannenstiel said of the incident.

Surprisingly, the German forged a friendship with footballing hard man Gary Blissett.

The two shared a house when both playing in Singapore, along with two naughty pet monkeys called Glasnost and Perestroika. The German’s Soviet-named primates apparently angered Blissett by eating much of the pair’s flat.

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Footie’s most frequent flyer

Sometimes you just need a change of scene.

There’s needing a change of scene, however, and there’s our friend Pfannenstiel. The legendary nomad played for an extraordinary 25 clubs during his 20 year career, making 27 different transfers.

The journeyman goalie seemingly went for the ‘throw a dart at a map of the world’ approach when making a career move, judging by the distances between his different clubs.

For example, between the 2001/02 and 2002/03 seasons, Lutz moved from Dunedin Technical in New Zealand, to Northern England with Bradford Park Avenue, to Huddersfield, back to Dunedin, to ASV Cham in Bavaria and then back to Bradford, all in the space of two years.

It was the flight-loving keeper’s move to Brazilian side Hermann Aichinger that truly set him apart from football’s other great journeymen, and brought the German a unique world record.

In joining the South American side, Lutz became the first footballer in history to play professional football in all six continents (If Antarctica had a footie league I’m sure he’d have found himself there too).

Banged up in a Singapore slammer

Pfannenstiel’s career was by no means a constant holiday. In 2001, the keeper was found guilty of match-fixing while playing Geylang United in Singapore.

Despite denying any wrong-doing, Pfannenstiel spent 101 days in the brutal Queenstown Remand Prison, a home for many of Singapore’s most violent criminals at the time, including some death row inmates.

The incarcerated goalie admits he experience extreme violence from both prisoners and guards, including having his nose broken twice.

According to CNN, the keeper says he had “no bed, no toilet, no toothbrush” in what was “one of the most difficult times”.

“For breakfast, they don’t say good morning, they punch you in the face. I had to survive in that circus. If it was for 101 days, it felt like 25 years.”

All charges against Pfannenstiel were dropped, and the German was released from the brutal jail.

P-p-pick up a penguin

Although innocent of match fixing, Pfannenstiel wasn’t always the best behaved.

In one chapter of ‘The Unstoppable Keeper’, the German admits to stealing a penguin from a local zoo during his time playing for Dunedin in New Zealand.

Perhaps missing his monkeys, Pfannenstiel claims he was only “borrowing” the flightless bird, and that he kept the creature in his bath for a couple days.

The goalie decided to say goodbye to his feathery friend upon discovering it was an endangered blue penguin, and that a $10,000 fine could be issued for its birdknapping.

Bizarrely, Pfannenstiel was accused of stealing another penguin in 2017, while coaching at Hoffenheim in Germany. However, the past penguin thief denied his involvement, saying in an interview with the German press: “It wasn’t me.

“I urge the thief to return the penguin, as this is no joke. I know it well from the sins of my youth.”

Back from the dead

Perhaps the most miraculous moment in Pfannenstiel’s illustrious career happened while playing for Bradford Park Avenue.

After a dangerous through-ball played then Harrogate Town forward Clayton Donaldson in behind, Pfannenstiel rushed out to beat the striker to the ball. In a freak accident, the pair collided, with Donaldson smashing in to the keeper’s sternum.

One of the German’s lungs collapsed, and the goalie was pronounced clinically dead on three seperate occiasions, before physio Ray Killick brought him back with the kiss of life.

A month or so after the game, Pfannenstiel told local paper The Telegraph and Argus that he was “sorry” that he had caused referee Jon Moss to cancel the game.

Whenever the keeper has been asked about the incident, he is keen to emphasise that Donaldson, who went on to 170 games in the Championship, was not at fault.

In an interview with The Gurardian, Lutz said: “There was nothing malicious about Clayton’s challenge. He tried to jump over me but instead crashed straight into my sternum.”