‘I really like my boyfriend and will not bonk different males however girls are honest sport’
A spicy model says she is gender faithful to her boyfriend, but stresses that women are “fair game.”
‘Hetero-monogamy’ is a setup where couples, one or both of whom identify as queer, agree to be exclusive to those of the same gender as their partner. But they are open to those of the opposite gender they’re attracted to. Nova Hawthorne is in such a relationship with her partner, James.
As younger generations increasingly challenge traditional relationship norms, monogamy has become a prime target. While they redefine the parameters of their romantic relationships, a new trend is surfacing, which Nova and James have embraced.
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She said: “In my case, I am completely committed to James, I’m monogamous with him in so far as I don’t sleep with or date other men.
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“But the reality is that I’m also attracted to women and he’s never going to be able to offer me that, so I think it only makes sense that I live out that side of myself as well.
“I don’t see why that would take anything away from my relationship with James.”
James, who is 33 years older than Nova, was understanding from the get-go. When Nova shared her feelings with James, “He said ‘well okay, I can’t be your girlfriend as well.
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“That was important for me to be comfortable with committing to being in a relationship with him. I think a lot of other bi and queer people have that fear of having to close off that whole other side of themselves, I don’t think it’s realistic and I think that’s why more people are stretching their definitions of monogamy to suit their individual needs.”
Nova and James have a unique twist on their love life, with Nova explaining their special arrangement due to their differing sexual preferences: “James is straight, so he’s completely monogamous and not sleeping with other women, the same way that I’m not sleeping with other men. The openness only applies to me because of my attraction to women.
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“I think hetero monogamy works for many because it provides a stable framework for love and intimacy while still allowing people to express their sexual identities. For me it offers a sense of security and commitment. I think as society evolves, more people are recognising that love and attraction are complex.”
Every couple is different, and finding what suits them best is key. Nova stresses the importance of candid dialogue in making any relationship model successful.
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“I think being really open and honest with your partner is key,” she said. “That’s true for every relationship though, I don’t think a relationship, whether it’s traditional or not, can survive long term without healthy communication. We don’t have any rules or boundaries, we just have mutual trust and respect for each other.”
When asked if monogamy still holds a place in society, Nova said: “While more people are exploring different relationship styles, monogamy is appealing for people who value exclusivity. It’s about what works best for each individual and couple.
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“People might want to explore hetero monogamy if they’re looking for that deep emotional connection and a sense of stability in their relationships. It can really work for those who value commitment.
“I think for many, the exclusivity can create a strong bond and a safe space to be themselves. It might be for those who want to nurture that one-on-one connection while still respecting each other’s identities and desires.”
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