The unimaginable true story behind Sweet Bobby revealed

True crime fans were on the edge of their seats when, two years ago, the Sweet Bobby podcast recounted a baffling and convoluted catfish story that saw a woman embroiled in a nine-year relationship without ever having met or video called the man who would go on to be her ‘boyfriend’.

And the bizarre tale will now be told in a Netflix documentary next month, with the trailer released yesterday.

Kirat Assi, 43, of west London, spent nearly a whole decade believing she was communicating online with a doctor named Bobby; first starting as friendship before blooming into more.

The ‘couple’ would  at points speak on the phone nearly daily – the conversations at time becoming sexual – and endured shocking circumstances, including Bobby allegedly being shot, placed in the Witness Protection Programme and suffering a brain tumour.

‘Bobby’ eventually became obsessive and controlling, leaving Kirat suffering from chest pains and being signed off work due to stress.

But in reality, the profile – and those of some 50 others in the fake network of his ‘friends’ – was being managed by her female cousin, Simran Bhogal; whom Kirat had been confiding about her relationship troubles to.

‘What happened to me is just one crazy story,’ Kirat said in the trailer for the upcoming programme, which will be out October 16.

‘You can’t make it up. We’re talking about ten years of my life.’

Kirat spent some of those years in a romantic relationship with the fake Bobby – who she believed was living in Australia and whose identity was based on the profile and photographs of a real man.

The deception was only uncovered when a frustrated Kirat was driven to hire a private detective and was confronted with the bizarre and chilling truth. 

Kirat, who featured in the hugely popular six-part Sweet Bobby podcast hosted by Alexi Mostrous, has spoken candidly and openly about the horror of finding out the reality.

It is believed to be one of the longest-running and most complex case of catfishing to have come to light because the deception involved creating not just one person, but an entire community.

In 2009, Kirat, a prominent member of London’s Sikh community, was working as an arts and events assistant for Hounslow Community Services and presenting a show on Radio Desi, a station for the Punjabi community. 

She was in a relationship when, out of the blue, she received a Facebook message seemingly from Simran’s ex-boyfriend, JJ, asking for guidance on how to get her back.  

The pair struck up a friendship and communicated over the next five months before she heard news that JJ had died, and Simran passed on the email address of his brother ‘Bobby’ to send her condolences.  

The fake profile used the real Bobby’s photos and some biographical details without his consent, and in November 2010, Kirat had her first encounter with the fake Facebook profile. 

The pair started off developing a friendship and he told her he was married, with a child on the way, however soon began divulging details of his collapsing relationship. 

‘We weren’t close, but I saw him as a friend, a little brother,’ she told the Daily Mail in 2021. 

In November 2013, she was at work when she received a Facebook message saying Bobby had been shot and was in a coma, suffering memory loss. And then in January 2014, she learned that he had died.

‘I was invited to join a Facebook group of his friends. There were 39 people in it. I have since learned that none of them was real.’

However soon after, Kirat received an email out of the blue informing her that Bobby was actually alive but faked his own death and was hiding in a witness protection programme.

‘Ridiculous,’ she acknowledged. ‘But at every step, these mad happenings were being backed up by other people.’ 

She was told ‘Bobby’ was drinking heavily and was suicidal. In 2015, she was informed he had suffer a brain tumour, followed by a stroke.

‘Bobby’ declared his love for Kirat some weeks before they actually ‘got together’ on Valentine’s Day 2015. 

‘I was not expecting him to live. His consultant [there were also constant messages from his fake medical team] did not expect him to live beyond July,’ she had said three years ago.

Her feelings about this ‘dying man’ were confused.

‘I am not a mushy sort of person. When he said “I love you”, I didn’t know what to make of it, but I did love him… as a friend, then.

‘I also thought “Where’s the harm?” It’s not as if I was ever going to be in a physical relationship with this person. But he kept putting the idea in my head. And everyone else kept saying: “Oh, he’s so in love with you”.’ 

Over the coming years the pair formed a relationship, exchanging several messages daily and their relationship even turned sexual – though Kirat never sent nude images of herself. 

But by 2017 ‘Bobby’ was becoming controlling including an incident where he forced Kirat to pay for a private mammogram at a London hospital after she experienced chest pains – then flew into a rage when she told him the consultant had been male.

She was signed off her job sick, with stress and eventually was let go.

‘I tried to find another one, but Bobby did not want me to work,’ she had previously explained.

Kirat was desperate to meet Bobby in person, but every time an arrangement was made, something would happen – including once when he supposedly had a heart attack. 

When Kirat pressed him too hard on details of his claims, or meeting up in person, he would threaten to commit suicide. 

Following more and more outlandish claims from ‘Bobby’, Kirat finally discovered that she had been communicating with Simran after hiring a private detective and confronting the ‘real life’ Bobby – who had no idea that his name was being used to launch a nine-year campaign of deceit.

She went to police, who said no criminal offence had taken place. She later brought a civil action against Simran which was settled out of court. 

‘She has taken ten years of my life from me, years I will not get back,’ said Kirat. ‘In that time I could have met someone real, had a baby. I lost my friends, my job, my savings.

‘I opened up to him – her! – telling him things about my hopes, dreams, my childhood, that I’d never tell anyone. I feel violated.’ 

On the podcast, Kirat revealed how she ‘vomitted’ and ‘passed out’ after Simran eventually confessed to the truth on June 11, 2018.

After a private detective led Kirat to Bobby’s real address, she confronted him at his doorstep – only to realise that he was still happily married with children and had no knowledge his identity was being used to trick her.

Simran – posing as Bobby – even called Kirat as she was physically talking to the real Bobby at his house.

After their meeting, both Bobby and Kirat went to the police – Simran had even gone to the station with her cousin and alleged that she had seen Bobby in New York on a work visit once, suggesting that he was simply being blackmailed by his wife.

The following day, both Kirat and Simran were meant to work from Kirat’s home together. 

‘Simran was supposed to come and work from here from the Monday morning but she took ages and I was a bit frustrated ’cause that wasn’t like her,’ she recounted.

‘I was pacing up and down my room just messaging people and the car eventually pulled up.

‘She didn’t get out immediately and I could see her and her brother arguing in the car… I wasn’t sure what was going on. It didn’t feel normal.’

Eventually, Simran just said: ‘It was all me.’ 

‘I didn’t understand… absolutely didn’t understand what she meant by that,’ Kirat said. ‘And she said, “I was Bobby, Bobby’s me”.’

‘I still didn’t grasp what she was saying,’ she continued, and eventually revealed how she ‘fell back’, ‘kind of collapsed’ and called her best friend Harvey to come over.

‘I kept screaming at her’ she recalled. ‘”Why, why did you do this, why would you do this.”.

‘Ten years of my life, you’ve stolen ten years of my life. How could you be so sick. You had every chance to stop.

‘You had a million and one chances to stop. I tried to end the relationship so many times. What did I do to deserve this.’

The podcast also spoke to Bobby – who will also appear in the Netflix documentary – who also said he discovered that Simran was catfishing his brother at the same time as she was catfishing Kirat.

‘She’s the last person I’d choose in a line-up as guilty for this whole thing,’ he admitted.

Eerily, the podcast also revealed that Bobby and Kirat both crossed paths on a night out after Simran began posing as him online – but Kirat thought he was simply pretending not to know her in front of his friends. 

In 2022, she told the Sunday Times that she wanted catfishing to be taken more seriously as a deterrent to online fraudsters.  

‘I think it might serve as a deterrent for a lot of people to know that if you’re caught then immediately it’s a crime, just like driving with a mobile in your hand’, she said. 

‘I call it online entrapment. I wasn’t on a dating site, I’m private online. The connotations associated with the term catfishing are that it’s fun. 

‘This impacted my health, my family, friends, social life, my radio work, my career, absolutely everything.’ 

Further investigation on the podcast also suggested that Simran may have had a history of being dishonest on social media as far back as when she was at college.

In the trailer for the upcoming Netflix documentary, social media footage and snippets of interviews with Kirat and the real Bobby can be seen.

It finishes on a haunting last line from Kirat, who asks: ‘All this time, who have I been sleeping on the phone with?’