RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: I have not obtained a canine on this battle, however watching Trump I can not assist wishing we had a politician who would give us hope once more, make Britain nice once more – and make us snigger once more

Win or lose, Donald Trump has at least Made America Laugh Again. This week he turned up at a rally in Wisconsin in a garbage truck, wearing a hi-viz vest and sending his audience into hysterics.

The catalyst was Joe Biden calling Trump supporters ‘garbage’ – a riposte to a lame joke by an unfunny, virtually unknown comedian called Tony Hinchcliffe during the warm-up to the former President’s New York homecoming at Madison Square Garden last weekend.

Hinchcliffe described Puerto Rico as a ‘floating island of garbage’, which went down about as well as a MAGA hat at a Kamala Harris fund-raiser. Interviewed later, Trump claimed he’d never heard of Hinchcliffe and had no idea who had booked him. (Whoever did is probably at the bottom of the Hudson River now, encased in concrete.)

But that didn’t stop the overwhelmingly pro-Democrat mainstream media seizing on the remark as conclusive evidence that Trump, and by extension his voter base, were hardcore racists who hated all immigrants – especially those of Puerto Rican heritage, who could tip the balance in a couple of swing states.

For three days, they hammered their unsubtle message home. That was until Biden emerged from his crypt under the White House on Zoom to declare: ‘The only garbage I see out there is his [Trump’s] supporters.’

At a stroke, Sleepy Joe had slandered that half of the American public planning to vote for The Donald. It brought back memories of Hillary Clinton describing Trump supporters as a ‘basket of deplorables’ – a slur which contributed to her losing the 2016 election, despite being the odds-on favourite.

With masterful timing, Biden’s contemptuous remarks came during a Kamala Harris rally outside the White House, in which she again accused Trump of being a Nazi and a ‘threat to democracy’.

It was a gift to the Trump camp, lifting the stone on what the aloof, elite Democrat leadership really thinks of the ‘middle-class’ Americans they claim to champion. The usual Democrat sycophants in the media tried rowing back on his comments, but it was too late.

In Wisconsin, Trump emerged wearing a neon orange and yellow hi-viz vest and gave a press conference from the cab of a garbage truck. He then wore the vest to the rally, where he was received with rapturous applause and laughter.

He said he hadn’t intended to wear it for his speech, but his staff told him it made him look thinner. ‘I may never wear my blue jacket again.’

Referring to the apparent damage Biden’s ‘garbage’ remarks had done to the Harris campaign he joked: ‘I think he likes me more than her.’

Which may not be entirely accurate, but probably isn’t too far wide of the mark. Biden is still seething at being ousted in a palace coup and replaced as candidate by his Vice President. Since then he has rarely missed an opportunity to undermine Harris, damning her with faint praise.

Trump’s latest inspired piece of coup-de-theatre surpassed an earlier stunt in Pennsylvania, where he pulled on an apron and served burgers and fries to customers at a drive-in McDonald’s.

It was intended to expose a disputed claim by Harris to have worked at a Maccy D’s when she was a student, something for which no evidence has been produced before or since.

After 15 minutes, Trump declared: ‘At least I’ve now worked longer at McDonald’s than Kamala.’

When she was parachuted in as emergency candidate after a panicked Democrat politburo decided to dump Biden following his disastrous, rambling performance in the first Presidential debate, Harris promised to bring back ‘joy’, without any specific policies attached.

She even admitted that over the past almost four years as VP, she couldn’t think of anything she’d have done differently from Biden. Still, she enjoyed an immediate bump in the polls.

After surviving one assassination attempt in Butler, Pennsylvania, Trump seemed diminished, despite his immediate ‘fight, fight, fight’ resilience. The old spark was absent. The bullet which missed blowing his brains out by a hair’s breadth had taken its toll.

But in recent weeks, as the contest nears polling day, a markedly different Trump has emerged. Yes, the old, trademark insults about his opponents are still free flowing. The flashes of thin-skinned petulance are still in evidence. But so, too, is the sharp sense of humour that friends and supporters such as Nigel Farage have always insisted he displays in private.

As for the hi-viz ‘makes me look slimmer’ gag from someone notoriously sensitive about his weight, who knew Trump did self-deprecation?

Unlike his successful campaign in 2016 and his defeat by Biden four years ago, Trump is actually having fun, something he manages to transmit to his adoring Middle American fanbase.

And far from bringing back ‘joy’ the Harris campaign has descended into one long smear campaign, comparing the packed Madison Square Garden event to a Nazi rally and warning that if Trump is re-elected he’ll turn America into 1930s Germany.

She constantly refers to Trump as a ‘fascist’, without apparently understanding the meaning of the word, increasingly sounding like the Rik Mayall character in The Young Ones.

All the evidence suggests it’s falling on deaf ears. Once you’ve played the ‘literally Hitler’ card there’s nowhere else to go.

The Madison Square Garden rally was nothing like Nuremberg. Israeli flags flew in abundance, the crowd was properly diverse. Trump is picking up support among all minorities and faith groups, including Latinos, African-Americans and even Arab-Americans, who trust him over Harris to bring peace to the Middle East.

What has spooked the Democrats most is the support Trump is attracting among black men. So much so that Barack Obama has been wheeled out to accuse his ‘bros’ of being sexist, alleging they’re not comfortable with putting a black woman into the White House. 

This is the same Obama who contemptuously dismissed Republican voters in small town and rural America as low-information rednecks obsessed with ‘God and guns’.

Michelle Obama followed up with an angry, incendiary speech in Kalamazoo, Michigan, warning that if black men voted for Trump their wives, daughters, sisters and mothers would become ‘collateral damage’ – ignoring

the fact that the real damage is done by the Harris policy of allowing biological men to compete in women’s sports and use female locker rooms and toilets.

These patronising interventions from multi-millionaire members of the Democrat elite failed to move the dial and were received about as well as Biden’s ‘garbage’ jibe. Surveys show that as much as 25 per cent of the black vote could fall in behind Trump. 

As for Harris’s risible claims Trump would send in the military against his domestic enemies and put his opponents in jail, the only sensible response is: Dear Kettle, Love Pot.

For the past decade, ever since he descended the golden escalator at Trump Tower and announced he was running for President, the Democrats have been waging all-out lawfare against him.

They’ve tried to keep him off the ballot, Democratic prosecutors have tried to bankrupt him. He’s been found guilty of a series of, er, trumped-up crimes designed to depict him as a ‘convicted felon’.

They even sent in the FBI to stage a high profile, heavy-handed, Enemy-Of-The-State-style raid on his home in Palm Beach, Florida. Some of his closest aides, including his former chief of staff Steve Bannon, have actually been jailed for crimes including ‘contempt of Congress’.

As for being an ‘enemy of democracy’, millions voted for Trump in the Republican primaries. Harris, on the other hand, was anointed by a self-appointed Democratic cabal, equivalent to the Tories’ Men In Grey Suits.

No one voted for her to be the candidate and the last time she stood for President she was eliminated in the first round of the primaries after receiving a grand total of ‘nul points’.

She has to attack Trump as Hitler because her own record as VP is indefensible. She was the last in the room when every major decision was taken by Biden, including the shameful scuttle from Afghanistan.

Harris was appointed ‘border tsar’ by Biden, tasked with tackling the flood of foreign nationals entering the US via Mexico, although she now flatly denies it. She halted construction of Trump’s border wall. Since then between eight and 21 million illegal immigrants have flooded across the Southern border, depending on who you believe.

What’s indisputable is that ‘undocumented’ foreign gangs and assorted criminals have been responsible for an epidemic of offences, including robbery, rape, kidnap and murder. Only this week a Jewish man walking to synagogue in Chicago was shot by an illegal immigrant shouting ‘Allahu Akbar!’

That’s why Trump is promising to rebuild the wall and deport illegals, as well as slashing the cost of living. Under Biden/Harris, inflation has soared. As for energy prices, Harris backed Biden’s ban on fracking and phasing out coal in pursuit of Net Zero.

Under Trump, the US was energy self-sufficient and a net exporter of gas and oil. Under Biden/Harris, America is once again importing fuel. Trump promises to ‘drill, baby, drill’.

I’ve been covering US elections for more than 30 years, bar last time out when Covid travel restrictions got in the way.

I’ve never known the country more divided, nor at the same time more energised.

This has certainly been an extraordinary few months, with one candidate – a sitting President unceremoniously jettisoned and another – a former and possibly future President – targeted in not one, but two assassination attempts.

I recently spent a week in Michigan, one of the swing states where this election will be decided. While black women and wealthy liberals favour Harris, there has been an up-swell of support for Trump, especially among auto workers furious at the Democrats phasing out petrol and diesel vehicles and trying to force people to buy electric cars.

More than one million jobs in Michigan depend on the motor industry. What struck me was the fact that the Detroit suburbs were awash with garden signs and bumper stickers backing both sides.

Rallies across the US are packed to the rafters. I couldn’t help contrasting this enthusiasm with our own recent General Election. In the UK, you wouldn’t have known there was an election taking place, such was the indifference outside The Bubble.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I can’t help looking at the Trump campaign and measuring it against the dismal gruel we are being fed at home, especially in this week’s Back To The Future 1970s socialist Budget.

Trump is offering optimism and hope. Lower prices, lower taxes on the ‘middle class’, business owners and farmers, much cheaper gas and electricity. He’s promising to help the very people Labour has decided to hammer in Britain. 

Starmer and Reeves are peddling an uninspiring narrative of unremitting gloom and implementing policies which will leave us colder and poorer for years to come.

The Left in Britain hate Trump with a passion and are gagging for a Harris victory. Labour sent 100 activists to join the Harris campaign. If Trump wins, it will backfire spectacularly to our detriment.

And if Trump is a ‘threat to democracy’, for challenging the result of the last Presidential election, where does that leave Starmer, who spent years trying to overturn Brexit, the biggest single vote for anything in British history, and is now Prime Minister after capturing the support of just 20 per cent of those eligible to vote?

Somehow I can’t see Starmer serving fries in McDonald’s and giving a press conference from a garbage truck. Or pulling on a hi-viz jacket, unless Waheed Alli bought it for him.

Bruce Springsteen sings about being a ‘rich man in a poor man’s shirt’ but his blue collar base has been deserting him over his support for extreme ‘liberal’ polices and backing for Harris.

Trump, a billionaire in a rich man’s suit, manages to connect with Joe Six-Pack and the ordinary folk of Middle America.

If he hadn’t been born into money, he’d have probably been just like them, maybe working as something in Waste Management.

Farage aside, the only British politician with that kind of elusive common touch was/is Boris, an Old Etonian classical scholar wedded to bizarre stunts, who managed to convince down-to-earth voters he was on their side. And look how that turned out. For now.

Given the eccentricities of the US electoral system – they’ve started voting in some states and there have already been legal challenges and allegations of fraud – only a fool would predict the eventual winner. The race is so tight it may all come down to a gal in Kalamazoo.

I covered the Bush/Gore ‘hanging chads’ standoff in 2000 and it was weeks before the result was finally certified. It was a roller-coaster ride. They do things differently in America, but they get there in the end.

After this week’s Budget-to-slash-your-wrists-by, I can’t help wishing – to borrow Trump’s schtick – that we had a politician who could Make Britain Strong again, Make Britain Wealthy Again, Make Britain Great Again. And more to the point: Make Britain Laugh Again.