QUENTIN LETTS: Ankle-biter Priti might upset Ferrero Rocher pyramids in embassy land
Kemi Badenoch announced her shadow cabinet on the day of the US presidential election.
Sickening though it must be for Kamala Harris and Donald Trump to be upstaged by giants such as Edward Argar (the new shadow health chap) and blinky Chris Philp (shadow home secretary!), that’s politics. Rough old game.
Mrs Badenoch assembled her crack troops for a 10am meeting. Her selections were guided less by the principle of ‘Who’s best?’ than, as with pub cricket XIs, ‘Who is available and who has a pair of pads?’
By asking Mel Stride to bat as shadow chancellor she signalled, for the time being, an adherence to economic centrism. ‘Uncle Melvyn’ is a cautious, avuncular figure – thuddingly unexciting. Some will find that reassuring.
Dame Priti Patel as shadow foreign secretary was a friskier proposition and may upset Ferrero Rocher pyramids in embassy land. Dame Priti is one of life’s ankle-biters and it will be interesting to see her at work at diplomatic drinks parties. There could be carnage.
Kemi Badenoch with her new shadow cabinet. Dame Priti Patel as shadow foreign secretary was a friskier proposition she is one of life’s ankle-biters and it will be interesting to see her at work at diplomatic drinks parties
Mrs Badenoch assembled her crack troops for a 10am meeting. Her selections were guided less by the principle of ‘Who’s best?’ than, as with pub cricket XIs, ‘Who is available and who has a pair of pads?’
In the Commons she must match the intellect of David Lammy. Can she do that? Can anyone?
Robert Jenrick, losing finalist in the Tory leadership, was at the despatch box in his new role as shadow justice secretary.
Mr Jenrick soon threw himself into proceedings and asked how many sex offenders the Government had released. The minister replying was not the justice secretary, Shabana Mahmood, but one of her underlings, Alex Davies-Jones, a shouty gabbler.
It was not easy to catch her remarks entirely – one might have been listening to a stream of abuse from the open window of a minicab – but it amounted to ‘You lot were in government for 14 years so we’ll take no lectures from you’. This sophisticated dialectic is not unusual at present.
Ms Davies-Jones sucked her gums and pushed her mush at the Tory benches. Soon she was bellowing about the depravity of misogyny, and she left the impression that the Government would more happily fill our prisons with chauvinists than, say, shoplifters.
Her roared decibels ricocheted around the chamber like real tennis balls. Ms Mahmood might want to make sure she is not out-performed by this noisy parliamentary under-secretary.
The other two justice ministers were Heidi Alexander and Sir Nic Dakin.He, the token man, was as wet as prune juice. Ms Davies-Jones kept giving him the benefit of her advice. Poor Sir Nic looked rather got at.
He disclosed that Duke of Edinburgh awards are available for young prisoners. D of E skills programmes include rope-making, canoe-building and signalling – not to mention ‘building trebuchets’ – so one can see that these things might come in handy to any con planning an escape.
In the continuation of the Budget debate there was a speech from the almost empty Conservative backbenches by Tom Tugendhat (Con, Tonbridge), another of the defeated leadership candidates. In a house packed with dobbins who read their speeches, Mr Tugendhat was notable for speaking without notes.
Robert Jenrick, losing finalist in the Tory leadership, was at the despatch box in his new role as shadow justice secretary
Sickening though it must be for Kamala Harris and Donald Trump to be upstaged by giants such as Edward Argar (the new shadow health chap) and blinky Chris Philp (shadow home secretary!), that’s politics. Rough old game
He regretted the Starmer Government’s fiscal destruction of family businesses. Labour newcomers gawped a little at his oratorical prowess, just as they had done at Mr Jenrick earlier. It is a pity that Mr Tugendhat did not accept a role in Mrs Badenoch’s shadow cabinet.
Instead we must settle for the blandness of James Cartlidge as shadow defence secretary and someone called Gareth Bacon shadowing that pink-haired horror at transport.
But I like the look of tall, bookish Jesse Norman as shadow Commons leader. His Thursday morning jousts with Lucy Powell – the one who always seems to be catching bluebottles with her open mouth – could become box office gold.
Point of information: James Cleverly (Con, Braintree) attended the start of the Budget debate but soon left, apparently unwilling to await his turn. There was something proud yet forlorn about Mr Cleverly’s gait as he departed. A month ago he was the coming guy.
Now he is not. Yes, it’s an unkind game.
