‘David Coote is a wally – however he is allowed to assume Jurgen Klopp is an conceited c***’

So there’s a video going around showing Premier League ref David Coote slagging Jurgen Klopp off and honestly I don’t know what the fuss is about.

He called him an “arrogant c***”. That’s like calling Gordan Ramsay “a grumpy chef”. If anything it’s an understatement. Sure, the fact that he said it on camera is like Sam Allardyce in speedos – it’s an excruciatingly-bad look. But he said it in private. You’re allowed to think people you work with are c***s, lord knows I would if I was employed alongside Jake Humphrey.

Referees aren’t soulless, unfeeling robots… well okay the ones in England are, but we shouldn’t expect them to be! They’re going to hate certain coaches, players, teams and fans just like everyone else.

Providing there isn’t proof – and there won’t be – that his Kloppaphobia has impacted his work, this really is much ado about nothing.

Should he be punished? Perhaps. But if it’s a sackable offence to think that Klopp is an arse then I’ll see you and half the country down at the jobcentre tomorrow!

Amsterdam shame

I tend to pick pretty light-hearted subjects for these rants, but this one’s chillingly-serious. Ange Postecoglou after a defeat-levels of chillingly-serious.

The deafening silence within the football community in the wake of the 1940s-style ‘Jew hunt’ in Amsterdam after Ajax vs Maccabi Tel Aviv last week was about as sickening as Steve Cooper’s face (sorry Steve, but you look like a narcoleptic horse on a ‘shrooms come down).

Sure, the Israel-Palestine conflict is controversial, highly-incendiary, and about as multi-layered as Ben White’s tanning routine. But that’s no excuse for the rank double standards and moral dissonance on display from every single high-profile football figure who’s spoken out against hate, discrimination and violence in the past.

If you complained about how Liverpool fans were treated outside the Stade de France in 2022, spoke up about women feeling ‘unsafe’ at grounds in the UK, or demanded justice after instances of racial abuse at matches, but were radio silent about this, then you’re nothing but a cowardly ideologue with as much moral integrity as Kyle ‘secret family’ Walker.

Arsenal are the new Tottenham

So here’s a question: are Arsenal getting a bit… ‘Spursy’? Like a porn star at the Masturbation Olympics they’ve come a long way, but when the chips are down they’re bigger bottlers than PespiCo.

They choked in 2023, couldn’t keep up in 2024, and heading into 2025 they’re jostling for position with Nottingham Forest. And just when Manchester City have the courtesy to drop a few points, Arsenal start doing a Kamala Harris on election night by getting overwhelmed by all the reds and conceding.

So let’s call a spade a spade: like Steven Gerrard, the Gunners have slipping-up in their DNA. They’re basically just Tottenham.

Have(rtz) some self-respect

Cor blimey, footballers are a bit bloody fragile these days aren’t they? I noticed Kai Havertz shushing the Chelsea fans after scoring what, awkwardly, turned out to be a disallowed goal on Sunday like some petulant 12-year-old who’d just smashed his brother on Mario Kart.

It would have made sense if he’d been given the Judas treatment, but the reaction in west London to his move to Arsenal was about as tepid as the atmosphere at the Emirates.

I mean how much of a thin-skinned wally do you have to be to tarnish your legacy at the club which, let’s be honest, will be remembered as the high-point of your career – ‘cause let’s face it, he ain’t winning squat at ‘Spursy’ Arsenal – because of a couple of boos and mean tweets?

Modern football folk constantly preach stuff like ‘don’t listen to the haters’, but they very obviously all do. And reacting to every bit of stick they get just makes them look like Cristiano Ronaldo – insecure, entitled, and super narcissistic.