Lily Allen admits that self-medicating was all the time ‘going to be on the playing cards’ for her as a result of habit ‘runs deep’ in her household as she particulars her sobriety: ‘It did not really feel like an ‘if’, it was a ‘when”

Lily Allen has opened up about her relationship with drinking, admitting that self-medicating was always likely to ‘be on the cards’ as addiction ‘runs deep’ in her family.

The singer, 39, has long been candid about her drink and drug abuse, saying quitting alcohol and drugs was the best decision she had ever made, with Lily now over five years into her sobriety.

But in a frank new interview with The Times, Lily told how addiction for her was always a case of ‘when’ and not ‘if’ as she recalled her actor father Keith Allen‘s troubles with drugs. 

Over the years, film star Keith, 71, has spoken about his battle with substance abuse, with the publication documenting Lily’s admission that her earliest memories revolves around drink and drugs and that she’d even seen her father take cocaine. 

Detailing how it was somehow inevitable that she’d follow a similar path, Lily said: ‘I think that addiction runs deep in my family, so self-medicating was going to be on the cards. For me, it didn’t really feel like an ‘if’, it was a ‘when’.” 

The Smile hitmaker, who has recently become an ambassador for addiction charity the Forward Trust, also hinted how the presence of drink and drugs while growing up made her feel ‘unsafe’ as she told how the most important thing about her sobriety is that her own children feel safe.

Lily, who shares daughters Marnie, 11, and Ethel, 13, with ex-husband Sam Cooper, shared: ‘My kids feel safe. That’s the main thing for me. I felt very unsafe in my childhood, and my kids feel safe.’

Indeed, it is her children who help keep her on the right path, with Lily quipping that her children ‘monitor’ her AA meeting attendance.

The TV personality, who lives in New York with her girls and Stranger Things star husband David Harbour, 49, said her girls would often question whether she’d been to her meetings, noting that her daughters are aware that staying on the path of sobriety ‘it takes work’ and that it’s something Lily has to ‘prioritise’. 

Perhaps the key to Lily staying on track for her girls is the shocking moment in her past as she hit rock bottom amidst her battle with booze.

During her interview, Lily recalled drunkenly turning up at her ex-husband’s house to confront him after learning he’d started seeing someone new, with the altercation startling her young children.

Lily said: ‘I drank myself into oblivion. I went over to his house and started screaming at him, woke the kids up, you know, really distressed the children. They remember that. And they know that I was under the influence then, and that it’s important that Mummy avoids getting into those situations.’

She has now been sober for almost five years, previously revealing that the last time she consumed alcohol was July 28, 2019. 

Lily’s words comes after she had earlier this year revealed that her dedication to staying sober comes from knowing what she risks losing by drinking again. 

Speaking to her pal Miquita Oliver on their podcast, Miss Me?, Lily explained she’s motivated to stay sober because of all the good things she has her life.

She admitted she thinks she would ‘lose everything’ if she went back to drinking, including her home, relationship with her two daughters, Ethel, 13 and Marnie, 11, and husband David Harbour.

Miquita, 39, praised her friend on not being tempted to have a drink when out at the pub and asked what her secret was.

Lily replied: ‘I don’t know really, I’m just used to it now. It’s been nearly five years of sobriety, coming up this summer. I don’t know there’s a secret.’

‘In my early days of sobriety I did a lot of work, I went to a lot of meetings, I did my step work and I had a sponsor. 

‘But then in lockdown I obviously didn’t go to any meeting and I haven’t really been in the habit of going since, though sometimes I do online ones.’

She continued: ‘I suppose I live with the benefits so I know what I stand to lose if I start to drink again, which is everything.

‘My life has pretty much never been as good as it is now. I’ve got a beautiful house, my kids are happy, they’re engaged, i’m connected with them, I have a good relationship with my husband, I have money, I have creative outlets. 

‘Everything is good and I don’t think that would be the case if I wasn’t sober.’

Lily added: ‘First of all I never really get cravings. Though sometimes when I’m in a restaurant in the summer and somebody gets a really beautiful, crisp glass of white wine, I might be like, “Ooh that looks nice”. But then I think but your house looks nice too!’

She also joked that the biggest benefit of sobriety was the lack of ‘beer fear’ the next day after a night out.

She said: ‘When you wake up and you’re like oh I know I offended lots of people but I don’t quite remember how.’

Miquita asked: ‘Is that one of the beauties of sobriety is that you never have that worry again?’

Lily confessed: ‘Yeah totally, I’d say that’s almost the number one. I always think the worst thing is waking up the next morning and not remembering what happened and then the second worst thing is then remembering what happened. 

‘Like oh s***t did i really tell that person that? I am such an idiot!’