‘Liz Truss has only been PM for a few days and is already helping just the rich’

She’s only been Prime Minister a few days and already she’s giving £45billion in tax cuts to the wealthy, and removing the cap on bankers’ bonuses. At last we have a leader with the common sense to look around this country and say: “Do you know who desperately needs a helping hand? The rich, that’s who.”

Foodbanks have increased by 80% in the last five years, and now we know the reason. The rich don’t have enough for a decent meal, so they’re forced to beg.

Rishi Sunak and his wife pop down every Monday for Co-op own brand corn flakes and a tin of spaghetti hoops.

The volunteers at one food bank in Chelsea have to fight back the tears, as every week they say: “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about having to come here, Mr Abramovich. Here are some Custard Creams as a treat.”

But people such as nurses have taken all the money, travelling from ward to ward in their speedboats, the spoilt brats.

For too long we’ve put up with the disgrace of the disabled depending on benefits of £90 a week.

Now we can put that right, by taking some of that off them and giving it to the board of British Gas. Maybe we should take their wheelchair away as well, so the chief executive can roll around the boardroom during meetings to stop himself falling asleep.

And this is only the start. Next week Kwasi Kwarteng will introduce a Tax Nomination Scheme, whereby the head of a major company can nominate a bus driver from Preston to pay their tax for them. Then Alf Nebworth will be on the news saying: “I’ve got to pay Bernie Ecclestone’s tax, it don’t seem fair. I only earn £400 a week for driving the No 19 to Deepdale.”

This has all come at the perfect time, as millions of people are desperately worried about how they can pay their heating bills.

And the greatest worry when you’re freezing is always that the CEO of HSBC can only pay himself a £5million bonus at Christmas.

This is the worst effect of cold and poverty. Captain Scott, in his last diary entry from the South Pole, wrote: “My toes are literally beyond feeling. Such is the numbness that I would not know if they had dropped off altogether.

“But what ails me most is the torment that Richard Branson can’t pay himself the eight million quid he deserves to see him through January.”

One simple example of how the rich work so hard is they have to learn how to pronounce foreign languages, so they can buy clothes and bags from Gucci and Louis Vuitton, whereas the poor only have to pronounce simple words like Primark and TK Maxx.

Liz Truss insists that by allowing the rich to become richer, she will “boost the economy”. And that’s right, because we need them to rob all the money, otherwise they might decide to leave the country and rob someone else’s money, and that would be a disaster for us all.