Expert lists reasons you dream about your ex – from sex cravings to wanting closure

Every one of us will experience strange dreams from time to time.

When we drift off into the land of nod our minds can go to the most unexpected places, and there’s nothing more unsettling than dreaming about your ex.

Like many things – they’re better left in the past – so why do they crop up now and again?

READ MORE:What your dreams really mean – including being ‘naked in public’

Around 8,300 people have Googled “dreaming of ex” in the past 30 days, which is a 100% increase when compared to the previous month.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner it’s no surprise people are letting their feelings get the better of them.

But seeing an unexpected face crop up while you’re asleep can do nothing for your nerves.

Martin Seeley, CEO and sleep expert at MattressNextDay, explained why you’re more likely to dream of your ex near Valentine’s Day.

He’s also enlisted the expertise of a dreams analyst to find out what different dreams about an ex really mean – from getting intimate to breaking up, being cheated on or receiving an apology.

Martin said: “Sleep helps you process and understand your emotions, particularly those you may find difficult with in real life, which is why you’re more likely to dream of your ex around this romantic holiday.

“However, delving into the reason ‘why’ a bit deeper, there are likely to be three reasons.”

You’ve been thinking about them a lot recently

If you’ve been thinking about them regularly for weeks or months now, then it’s likely that these thoughts will manifest themselves as dreams during sleep.

Perhaps you’re still grieving for them (even if you don’t want to admit it)

Even if you’re over your ex and have moved on, there’s always a chance that part of you will always regret the end of your relationship, and wonder what could have been if things had turned out differently.

This can be especially true if they were very special or important in your life at one time or another (e.g. they were your first love).

You feel guilty for moving on so quickly (especially if they’re still hurting over the breakup)

Your dream may subconsciously tell you that you need to feel more remorse or guilt over your new relationship.

You’re afraid that people will think you’re a bad person for moving on so quickly, and want to protect yourself from their judgment by holding on to the belief that they are still hurting over their breakup.

After analysing Google searches to uncover what the most common ex-related dreams are, MattressNextDay spoke to dreams expert Inbaal Honigman to reveal what these individual dreams suggest about your subconscious.

Inbaal said: “If you dream of an ex from a long time ago, this is a sign that you are wondering about your missed opportunities of youth.

“Perhaps you feel that you should have taken a different path in life, from the career you picked to the area you live in.

“If these decisions are connected to your long-gone ex, this may be why they are on your brain.

“If you have one of these dreams, upon waking, check whether you feel fearful or serene – this will tell you whether your past choices were preferable to your present or not.

“An apology in a dream is your mind’s way of bringing peace to a turbulent situation.

“Your sleeping subconscious is going over unfinished stories from the past. If this love story ended badly, and the other person never took responsibility for their actions, your mind still craves that apology.

“And at least in the dream, your ex is mature enough to deliver one!”

The expert also said, if you get intimate in your dream, it’s usually not about your ex at all.

Inbaal said if you’ve not enjoyed a physical connection with anybody for a while, then the natural human desire to embrace will transcend body, and mind and burst right into your dream.

As well as this, if you’re dreaming about cheating, it’s said this can link to your mind trying to make sense of the split.

You could be worried that their loyalty was never for you, and you may be suspicious that they were cheating in real life too.

The dream shows your own insecurities rather than any unfaithful thoughts from the ex.

Inbaal added: “Dreaming of an ex in a new relationship is very similar to dreaming of an ex-partner cheating.

“This is questioning whether their loyalty was ever with you, did they ever love you?

“It’s a dream of insecurity, but it’s also an opportunity to find out how you feel.

“Did it make you feel jealous, upset, or secretly relieved that they’re not with you anymore?

“A dream of arguing with an ex is a wishful dream.

“You’ve gone over your old arguments so many times, and each time you thought of a better come-back, a better answer you could have shouted!

“In your dream, you can finally get to win that argument, slam that door, and have the final say!

“This dream can be a great stress-reliever, allowing you to set the record straight, at least in your mind.”

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