What’s your late-night speciality? You know, back from the pub, you don’t want to handle sharp implements, convenience over aesthetics, a rapid injection of protein and carbs before bed.
For me, it is – and has always been – a fishfinger sandwich, preferably on white bread, with sauce.
For a long time it was ketchup, then I had a brown phase, now it’s Heinz Curry. But I am, as always, open to suggestions.
Sandwiches are never far from my mind. Probably the greatest human invention. Top five, at least.
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The world’s most expensive sandwich is a cheese sandwich, according to Guinness World Records. The Quintessential Grilled Cheese was served at the Serendipity 3 restaurant in New York in October 2014.
The bread was two pieces of French champagne bread, infused with Dom Perignon and gold flakes, with white truffle butter.
The cheese was the extremely rare caciocavallo podolico and the sandwich was served with a lobster and tomato bisque on the side. It cost $214 (£132.64), so it will probs cost more now.
Maybe that’s what Ann Widdecombe had in mind when she was asked about the cost of living and said people unable to afford the ingredients for a cheese sandwich should not have one.
This is the finest example of the utter contempt the Tories hold people in at the moment. You can dress it up.
Some cheerleaders are talking about “realism” and people having to come to terms with inflation. But it’s not that. It’s contempt.
Ms Widdecombe, previously famous for being dragged round on Strictly like a potato sack and, before that, insisting pregnant prisoners should be handcuffed while giving birth in hospital, represents a particular strain of the Tory party.
Their years in government, relentless turnover of PMs, ministers and MPs, means the strain has bubbled back to the surface. They’re out of ideas and reverting to an especially nasty type.
Working people, professional people, people with children, living in one of the richest countries in the world cannot afford the basics and have to use food banks.
Some food banks are changing opening hours to help people who are in work, so great is the problem.
This week, Keir Starmer discussed his answer to the cost of living crisis without giving any of the detail.
Surely he should tell us how a Labour government will make everything better, beyond abstract concepts such as having the biggest growth in the G7.
How he’ll get kids out of poverty, remove the need for food banks, get working people the rewards they deserve. Sometimes it takes a sandwich to cut through.