It may be the season of fine cheer and good will to all, however I discover it tough to congratulate Anne Robinson – the Queen of Mean – on her new posh boyfriend, Andrew Parker Bowles. It appears that Anne (79) and the 83-year-old retired military officer have been secretly courting for a yr, in keeping with locals of their good little bit of the Cotwolds.
What is it about these ageing lovers that provides me the ‘ick’?
More importantly – am I jealous? Possibly. Single males with all their colleges intact are skinny on the bottom, particularly if you enter your seventies and reside in a rural space. Particularly blokes with a scorching line to the highest tier of the monarchy. What higher option to get the newest royal gossip? This relationship is just not in regards to the money or monetary safety.
Anne, not like APB – dwelling on his military pension – earned a fortune internet hosting game-shows on telly right here and within the USA. Even although she claimed her second divorce in 2002 set her again £20 million, she’s continued to work ever since, most not too long ago internet hosting 265 episodes of Countdown. So this tie-up may very well be a win-win state of affairs for each contributors.
Anne is finest referred to as the host of The Weakest Link (pictured for the present), which she offered from 2000 to 2017.
Andrew divorced Camilla in 1995 after 22 years of marriage, however stay shut mates – regardless of an advanced historical past which included infidelity on each components (pictured in 2020)
But each time I have a look at Anne Robinson, I’m reminded of her comment about her first facelift. When viewers of the Weakest Link had been confused by the drastic change in her look, she advised a journalist: ‘It’s a bit like taking a leg of lamb out of the oven – you need to let it relaxation for a bit’.
Comparing your face to a scrag finish of mutton exhibits a wholesome dose of realism, if nothing else. Anne turned well-known for her no-holds-barred repartee with company, and as soon as requested a homosexual chef on a cooking present: ‘What’s the strangest factor you have ever put in your mouth?’ On being advised that the contestant on considered one of her exhibits was an accountant she requested him: ‘Is that as thrilling because it sounds?’
Not the sort of brutal putdown King Charles would welcome over a canape.
But a shared love of fox-hunting would possibly paper over any little variations between these two social misfits. We’re advised they’ve loved a comfortable dinner with one other well-connected Cotswold native, former PM ‘Dave’ Cameron, who not too long ago returned to work as Foreign Secretary to ‘assist out’ Rishi Sunak.
On paper, I’ve acquired quite a bit in widespread with the 2 senior lovebirds. Like Anne , I’ve loved an extended profession as a columnist, edited a nationwide newspaper, hosted TV exhibits, and am identified for talking my thoughts. As for Andrew, we share the identical birthday! It’s December twenty seventh, in case you want to ship a card. Long earlier than Charles and Camilla turned a public couple, I shared a roast dinner with Andrew, who was delightfully witty firm.
Andrew Parker Bowles arrives at Westminster Abbey for A memorial service in June of final yr
To be truthful, I used to be invited by my native pub landlord. When six posh blokes (a Lord and several other Hons) had been staying in a single day on a taking pictures journey (grouse not movies) discovered that I lived down the street, they requested me to affix them, in all probability to expertise how widespread individuals spoke.
Whatever the explanation for my invitation, it was a totally pleasurable night. Andrew turned out to be an actual charmer and slightly attractive within the flesh. Viewers of the Crown can even keep in mind he’s alleged to have dated Princess Anne (and loads of different well-connected younger fillies) earlier than marrying Camilla. During their marriage, each companions are stated to have strayed – as we came upon throughout tampon-gate, when tapes of Camilla’s secret lover Charles revealed our future King babbling on in probably the most embarrassing method.
Of course, that was centuries in the past, however I can’t get enthused in regards to the weird spectacle of somebody so intently linked to our King and Queen courting a lady much more sarky and customary than myself. Who would have thought that Anne – a former rooster gutter (her mum owned a poultry wholesale enterprise) – might snare a chap who stays on finest buddies together with his former spouse, the Queen?
JANET STREET-PORTER: What is it about these ageing lovers that provides me the ‘ick’? More importantly – am I jealous? Possibly
Their connection post-divorce stays sturdy: Andrew was invited to the marriage of Charles and Camilla and the Coronation. He socialises within the highest circles and is thought for his good manners, wit and easy attraction. Anne Robinson, then again, has the unlucky talent of creating anybody who comes into contact together with her really feel on edge. Her interval on Countdown was marked by an environment of Arctic frostiness between Queen Anne and the 2 different feminine presenters, bubbly Rachel and beautiful Dictionary Corner professional Susie Dent.
Once on the Weakest Link, she nearly lowered John Noakes to tears by asking ‘what was the tip for Shep?’ Shep was the legendary Blue Peter canine Noakes had reared as a treaured pet. Anne as soon as remarked she had nothing to say to celebrities and ‘did not wish to be a tacky gameshow host’, however managed to include her distaste to current movie star variations of all her gameshows yr after yr.
I as soon as met Anne Robinson and we had been chatting about cooking and I discussed I owned an Aga. The subsequent day she wrote she was amazed that ‘somebody like Janet Street-Porter’ owned such a fancy cooker. I ought to have remembered her first column for the Daily Mirror was entitled The Wednesday Witch.
She additionally claimed that she was the oldest particular person on the field who ‘wasn’t judging desserts’. Of course that is unfaithful – like a lot of Anne’s throwaway put downs, it is designed to strengthen your view of her as a robust lady extra macho than any bloke who crosses her path. Gloria Hunniford, Angela Rippon, Prue Leith and Anneka Rice would all have one thing to say about that.
Anne Robinson definitely is not a pal of different ladies: when the Harvey Weinstein affair unfolded in 2017, the #MeToo motion empowered hundreds of girls to return ahead with allegations of sexual harrassment within the workplaces. Anne commented ’40 years in the past we had a way more strong perspective to males behaving badly’, and moaned in regards to the ‘fragility’ of girls who ‘aren’t ready to deal with the treachery of the office’.
Camilla, then Duchess of Cornwall, is pictured right here chatting to Anne Robinson on the 2013 Man Booker Prize for Fiction
The Queen of Mean’s perspective to Princess Diana would possibly – on the face of it – play properly with a few of her new royal buddies. In 1982, as assistant editor of the Daily Mirror, she ran a scoop claiming that Diana was affected by anorexia, which turned out to be true. The palace complained and he or she was taken off any future royal tales by her boss, anxious to not lose readers determined for Diana tales.
In 2002, the BBC ran a six-part sequence asking the general public to vote for Great Britons. Anne offered the primary episode, selecting Jane Austen, with Maggie Thatcher an in depth second. She wrote in Radio Times that she was completely appalled so many viewers voted for Diana, calling it ‘absurd’, including ‘each time her reputation dropped, she hit one other hospice’.
In one other interview, Anne introduced ‘I do not do royalty’ – as a result of Prince Philip had requested her to current the Duke of Edinburgh Awards (for nothing) – and when she demanded he seem on The Weakest Link in return, she did not get a reply.
So will Anne be reinventing herself as royal-friendly, smoothing off these abrasive corners and studying chat politely about completely nothing at all- one thing the higher lessons accomplish that properly?
I’ve my doubts. At 79, it’s miles too late for the Queen of Mean to turn into our Lady of Loveliness.
Me, jealous? Of course not.