QUENTIN LETTS: Lord Dave confronted the Lords European affairs committee

David Cameron by no means sounded so Eurosceptic as when he confronted the Lords European affairs committee yesterday. That was perhaps right down to dramatic distinction, for there is no such thing as a extra Remainerish a physique than this committee. It consists of a few of the most tenaciously pro-Brussels molluscs discovered on the Westminster shore.

Yet perhaps there was one more reason Cameron was eager to sound pro-Brexit.

First, meet the committee, chaired by Lord Ricketts, as soon as ambassador to France and head of the Foreign Office. If he doesn’t already sleep in jim-jams adorned with the EU’s blue stars, Father Christmas might quickly put that proper.

Alongside him had been fellow crossbenchers and diplomatists Lords Jay and Hannay, the latter essentially the most liverish of anti-Brexit bleaters. Also: Peter Mandelson’s ex bagman Lord Liddle (Lab), ex-MEP Lady Ludford (Lib Dem), someday Tory/Lib Dem/again to Tory defector Lady Nicholson (Hokey-Cokey celebration), an ex-Lib Dem president known as Lady Scott, damp Tory Lady Anelay (tough surname) and Labour‘s Lady Blackstone, v. grand. Speaks as if she has a garments peg clipped on her hooter.

The one sturdy Brexiteer was Norman Lamont. Next to him was Viscount Trenchard (Con), a mouldy hereditary.

David Cameron by no means sounded so Eurosceptic as when he confronted the Lords European affairs committee yesterday

His new lordship Dave glistened like one thing off a Mr Sheen advert. Hair excellent. Dark tie, darkish swimsuit. Behind him had been varied youths equally attired, peachy cheeks and nil bumfluff. Beside him was Olaf Henricson-Bell, twin of the Leftie economist Torsten Bell. Owlish Olaf is the Foreign Office’s ‘EU director’.

The committee urged Cameron to copy pre-Brexit our bodies that may successfully harness us to Brussels. Cameron reminded them ‘we have determined to not be a member of the EU’. Rishi Sunak had repaired relations with EU leaders. ‘The warmth and anger had come out of the connection’ since Mr Sunak grew to become PM.

There was, maybe, a refined dig at Tony Blair when Cameron mentioned he himself purposefully averted contact with the EU when he stepped down as PM as a result of he ‘did not need to undermine London’s negotiating stance’.

Someone requested about our new Pacific commerce partnership. ‘There’s no level leaving the EU and never benefiting from leaving,’ mentioned Cameron. This was greeted by a row of pouts. ‘We’re large enough to matter and sufficiently small to be nimble,’ continued Brexit’s new admirer. We ought to discuss to China as a sovereign nation reasonably than go working to Brussels asking ‘please, please, can we be part of your China dialogue?’ Quite skilfully, he was mocking the Remainers as moist, wee fearties.

His new lordship Dave glistened like one thing off a Mr Sheen advert along with his air excellent, darkish tie and darkish swimsuit

There was, maybe, a refined dig at Tony Blair when Cameron mentioned he himself purposefully averted contact with the EU when he stepped down as PM

Lord Jay, nonetheless adjusting to Brexit, used the system ‘we and the remainder of the EU’. It was like listening to a bereaved particular person discuss of the useless within the current tense. But Lord Cameron expressed pleasure that he now not needed to attend EU summits. ‘I haven’t got to get entangled in these issues any extra – what a aid!’ Lady Scott was unamused by his levity. It is feasible she is unamused by a lot in life.

Smooth operator that he’s, Lord Cameron flattered wheezy Lord Liddle (‘thanks for what you do’) for collaborating in some worldwide parliamentary freebie. Liddle is an interesting dumpling and appeared sweetly happy. He and Lady Ludford had definitely been to the phrase mine.

At least two of their questions went on longer than the Mont Blanc tunnel. Lord Hannay tried some pro-European human rights mischief on Rwanda. Cameron brushed the snooty booby apart. He recalled that EU attorneys, who included a Monsieur Hubert Legal, behaved impossibly after we had been nonetheless members. Having an EU veto was typically pointless.

Almost two hours it lasted. Cameron was faultless. Loyal. Assured. Fluent. Centrist in tone but distinctively Tory in his arguments. The solely time he checked himself was when, discussing synthetic intelligence, he mentioned ‘If I personally…’ It sounded as if the following phrases had been going to be ‘… had been prime minister’.

Come on, he would solely be human if it had certainly drifted by means of his ideas. Imagine a Cameron v Starmer election. What do you reckon? Tory majority of 25?