One mum has urged mother and father to not drive children to sit down on Santa’s lap this Christmas and stated they need to search consent.
Katie Love’s advice comes after she noticed daughter Adley Martin, three, was nervous whereas queuing to see Santa. The mum stated she knew it was about sitting on the massive man’s lap.
She used her daughter’s go to as a “teachable moment” about consent and respecting boundaries. She urged Adley to talk up and say “no” if she did not wish to do one thing.
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And Adley turned down the chance to sit down on Santa’s knee – regardless of worries she might not get the bike she desperately wished.
(Image: Katie Love / SWNS)
Santa instructed the tot he admired the best way she “stood up for herself” – and stated she ought to proceed to say “no” if she desires to, even to individuals like Santa Claus.
Katie, 35, says she usually teaches her about bodily autonomy. The mum, who’s a CEO of a social media company, from Miami, Florida, stated: “Toddlers should be able to use ‘no’ as a full sentence. Boundaries and bodily autonomy are extremely important to us as a family – and consent is such an important topic, even for a three-year-old.”
Katie took Adley to see Santa on December 10, on the Ritz-Carlton in Miami. But as they have been queuing up, she seen the tot trying nervous – regardless of feeling enthusiastic about assembly him for “weeks”.
(Image: Katie Love / SWNS)
She wasn’t certain how Adley would react as soon as it was her flip – however reassured her she didn’t have to sit down on his lap if she didn’t wish to. “Adley was definitely nervous,” Katie stated. “But she was super excited – she’d been talking about it for weeks.
“I think she’s so little, and she saw all those other kids – it made her nervous. I said to her, ‘you don’t have to sit on his lap – you can say no,’ thinking, you never know with toddlers.
“She told me ‘no’ – but I could tell she was worried she wouldn’t get the purple bike she’d been asking for.”
Once it was Adley’s flip – she instructed Santa she didn’t wish to sit on his lap, and he praised her for it. In a video recorded by Katie, he stated: “This is her body – she’s in control of her body. I asked if she wanted to sit on my lap, and she said ‘no’ – I said, way to stand up for yourself.
“You can’t let even Santa Claus – if Santa Claus says ‘do you want to sit on my lap?’ – if you don’t want to, you say no.”
Katie felt relieved by the change, and grateful to ‘Santa’ for taking the additional day out to speak to her. She stated: “For Santa to affirm her and say thank you for expressing yourself – I mean, there was a line full of kids. I never expected him to take those five minutes.”
(Image: Katie Love / SWNS)
Katie and her husband, stay-at-home dad Aaron Martin, 36, have spent virtually all of Adley’s life educating her about consent. From educating her it’s okay to say “no” to a hug, to not permitting individuals to the touch her in uncomfortable areas, the pair consider toddlers’ boundaries needs to be revered like anybody else’s.
But this hasn’t at all times been welcomed by the remainder of their household. “If she doesn’t want to hug family members – even mummy and daddy, that’s okay,” stated Katie. “If a family member comes over and says ‘give me a hug’ – she doesn’t have to say yes.”
“But that has sometimes been hard for the rest of our family. I think there’s a fine line and we really try to walk it – she has control over her body, but we don’t want to scare her by teaching her that everybody in the world is going to try and take advantage.
“Adley is so affectionate by nature, as well, which is almost sweeter, because if she’s hugging you it means she really wants to.”
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