South London’s squirrel inhabitants is being brutalised by a rampant crack-cocaine dependancy. It sounds absurd does not it?
The creatures’ reported drug use hit the headlines again in 2005, with vibrant Brixton reported to be the epicentre of probably the most uncommon drug scourge.
So 18 years on, what are the crazed nutters as much as? Are they nonetheless hooked, or maybe they’ve accomplished rehab and prospered?
I went all the way down to the world on behalf of The Star to meet up with the fellas after they shot to infamy for his or her amphetamine antics.
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The loopy story first appeared following a publish on the discussion board Urban75 Brixton, which was titled “Can squirrels get addicted to crack?”. It noticed a resident complain they suspected supposed drug sellers had been hopping their backyard fence and utilizing their property as a stash.
(Image: Sam Conway)
They then famous: “Now I assume that if the squirrel dug up a rock of crack and nibbled it it wouldn’t get any effect. But what if it did? And do I face the prospect of dreaded crack squirrels? Turf wars (flower bed wars) between dealers and squirrels?”
Arriving in Brixton, on the well-known Windrush Square, armed with a bottle of rum and a few ciggies to coax within the creatures for a chat, issues appeared fairly calm – virtually too calm. I used to be naturally vigilant, given the wild reviews, and anticipating confrontation.
I used to be anticipating seeing squirrels off their nuts and was absolutely ready to stay a few the cuddly fellas within the restoration place.
(Image: Sam Conway)
Squirrels with syringes? Nowhere to be seen. Rodents with ropes tied round their little limbs? Again, not right here.
In reality, there was a definite absence of squirrels altogether. I used to be astonished to search out this as soon as bustling squirrel hub just about abandoned, seeing simply two on the periphery of the world all afternoon.
I feared it was the medicine that had torn by way of the native inhabitants. But whether or not it was crack, or not, one thing was accountable for the exodus.
And it appears I’m not the one individual to note the decline in London’s squirrel inhabitants. Brixton residents have famous it too.
One resident, writing on a neighbourhood discussion board in regards to the native gray squirrel inhabitants, stated: “[They] are healthy-looking little thugs who have no fear of people. This year, I’ve seen a grand total of zero squirrels. Usually, they start becoming visible around April.
“Are there fewer squirrels around? Maybe I’m just imagining it? I did find this article about plans to control the grey squirrel population but that dates back to 2021.”
(Image: Sam Conway)
Of course, it may very well be that the nutters met their demise attributable to their (alleged) drug-taking. But others worry extra sinister points at play.
Some theorised that owls, canine or cats may very well be accountable for brutally killing off the native inhabitants.
Others theorised that peanuts may very well be accountable. While you could count on peanuts to be perfect meals for squirrels, they’re truly lethal.
“Feeding squirrels on peanuts will lead to them developing significant calcium deficiencies; there is no calcium in peanuts and the squirrels will eat them to exclusion of anything else,” stated the resident.
“The calcium deficiency leads to spinal fractures and the pathetic sight of squirrels dragging their hind legs and tail.”
It appears Brixton’s squirrels might have suffered a destiny worse than crack dependancy: ripped to shreds by predators or slowly debilitated by bone-corroding peanuts.
(Image: Sam Conway)
Whatever the explanation, the dastardly dope fiends had been now nowhere to be discovered. Everywhere I regarded all I discovered had been pigeons – it appears the flying scumbags had been the actual kings of the native fauna.
Dejected, I requested the brand new kings of the manor whether or not they needed a swig on my bottle of rum, earlier than they turned on me in a pack-like formation of feathered terrorism.
It appears the crack squirrels are useless. It’s the crack pigeons that now rule this neighbourhood.
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