Harry Kane’s ‘curse’ – Living Nostradamus, Uri Geller and AI have their say

Football fans have long thought Harry Kane is “cursed” and after Bayern Munich‘s simply ridiculous Champions League semi-final exit, maybe they’re right.

Kane cut a disconsolate figure on the bench as Bayern somehow contrived to throw away a one-goal lead against Real Madrid, conceding two late efforts and crashing out of Europe. All sparked by their man between the sticks, one of the greatest and usually most reliable goalkeepers in history Manuel Neuer, committing an almighty cock-up.

What seemed impossible when the England captain moved to Germany from Tottenham for £100m last summer has come to pass – an extremely rare trophyless season for the Bundesliga giants, their first since 2012. But it marks the 13th year in a row that Harry will go empty-handed, having never tasted silverware.

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Despite a goal-laden career for club and country, including a staggering 44 strikes this season, the 30-year-old’s name has sadly become synonymous with a seemingly never-ending cycle of failure. Expectedly with perennial also-rans Tottenham, and now inexplicably with perennial winners Bayern.

The England captain’s monumental bad luck has even continued with the Three Lions, losing the Euro 2020 final on penalties to Italy on home soil, and blazing a spot kick over the bar against France at the 2022 World Cup. With Euro 2024 just over a month away, and the nation’s hopes resting on his shoulders, enough is enough.

Do you think Harry Kane is cursed? What are your suggestions to rid him of this evil-eyed hex? Let us know in the comments section below.

Is Kane subject to a supernatural curse? Can anything be done to lift this sinister voodoo? And with him leading the line, are England destined for inevitable heartbreak? Daily Star Sport have left no stone unturned in our quest to get to the truth.

Our first port of call was ‘Living Nostradamus’ Athos Salomé. The renowned psychic has foreseen everything from the 2020 pandemic to Elon Musk buying Twitter. And crucially for this study, proved he knows ball by correctly predicting Argentina would defeat France in the 2022 World Cup final.

Athos told us football “transcends strategy and physical prowess; it also encompasses the energies and historical backgrounds of the players”, adding “many individuals bear burdens from their ancestors, often misunderstood as phenomena”.

He recommended Kane address the “challenges, in his mind” through a plan involving rituals and meditation “to break free from any spiritual constraints that might hinder his progress”. He said: “Harry really needs to find happiness for all. Looking within is the key.”

Clearly a student of the beautiful game, Athos said he understands the significance of tactics and Gareth Southgate’s coaching expertise, but using data and predictive modelling should be paired with rituals to overcome challenges. He added: “I offer support to the England team, proposing strategies and a ritual to break any curses.”

Witch and celebrity psychic Inbaal Honigman has used Tarot cards to analyse Kane’s predicament. She said: “The gossamer-thin partition between a full-blown curse, and a simple if unfortunate run of bad luck is the topic of many a conversation around spiritual tables.

“What we generally refer to as a ‘curse’ is an intentional, deliberate direction of negative energy towards a person or a place, designed to create mayhem and misfortune, often with malicious intent or due to jealousy.

“There are many types of curses across various traditions, but they largely follow similar lines. Namely, a curse would be extreme, relentless and otherworldly. If hexed, a person would experience non-stop weird or supernatural events that can’t be explained with logic alone.

“There are several ways to check for curses. Firstly, is the bad luck bizarre or otherworldly? In Kane’s case, hardly. Bayern couldn’t stay on top forever, and nothing extreme appears to have happened. Failure to win is disappointing, not paranormal.”

Inbaal says photos of affected people can also hold clues, with unusual shadows, especially across the forehead and shoulders, indicating “there could be an esoteric interference in the person’s energy”. But in Kane’s case these aren’t present and most photos show him surrounded by lights, “an indication that he is divinely protected”.

She said: “The final and most decisive way to ascertain whether a curse is at work is checking the Tarot cards. Here, Kane receives a Tarot card called the Knight of Cups. It’s a card of emotion and sensitivity, the knight in shining armour. Family minded and loving, the card suggests that Harry’s heart is with his wife and babies, not so much with the beautiful game anymore. There are no curse indicates around him.

“Although many believe curses to be real, they’re certainly rare. In most cases, the misfortune reported is simply a run of random bad luck. Or, in Kane’s case, the end of a lengthy run of good luck.”

Random bad luck certainly sounds like a logical explanation. Yet if the curse is genuine, spoon-bending magical master Uri Geller thinks he has the answer. “It’s very easy to lift the curse. I can do it,” he told us.

“We have to unite all your readers at a certain hour of the day. We will say something and hopefully, almost for sure the curse will be lifted.

“It’s basically what I’ve done for David Beckham, and all those football players when they were wounded. You write a story and you pick up time – let’s say 11 o’clock where all your readers visualise the curse leaving him, kind of being erased out of his aura.

“The curse usually sits on a player, it’s not embedded in a player. I suggest to say the word abracadabra 11 times and use visualisation techniques to ensure the curse is lifted.”

If only we’d all done this sooner, perhaps that penalty heartbreak for England three years ago could have been avoided. When it comes to ensuring good omens, saying abracadabra 11 times seems a lot easier than sticking a firework up your arse.

But what if Uri has got this one wrong? Or he used up all his psychic powers when he circled Wembley in a helicopter at Euro 96 to force Gary McAllister to miss a penalty for Scotland?

Perhaps we should turn to our new robot overlords for reassurance. We asked AI whether Kane’s curse is genuine and what can be done to remove it.

ChatGPT was categorical in its reply: “There’s no real evidence to suggest that Harry Kane is cursed in any supernatural sense. However, some might humorously suggest that his pursuit of certain achievements, like winning a major trophy with England or clinching the Premier League title with Tottenham Hotspur, has been thwarted by various factors over the years.

“These could range from injuries to tactical decisions by managers or even sheer bad luck. But attributing it to a curse is more of a tongue-in-cheek way to talk about his challenges rather than a serious belief in any mystical force at play.

“The idea of lifting a curse is more of a superstition or a metaphorical concept rather than a tangible action one can take. In Kane’s case, overcoming the challenges he faces in his career would require a combination of factors, such as maintaining physical fitness to prevent injuries, working on his skills to continuously improve as a player, having a supportive team and coaching staff, and perhaps even some good fortune along the way.

“While some fans might jokingly suggest rituals or charms to ‘lift the curse’, in reality, it’s about perseverance, determination, and continuing to strive towards his goals despite setbacks. It’s also about surrounding himself with the right support system and staying focused on what he can control rather than attributing his challenges to any external forces.”

So there you have it, England fans. It’s just the 10 other players Gareth Southgate pick to worry about. Get ready for that parade!