Many parents grapple with what to buy for their children on their birthdays.
The task becomes even more challenging when dealing with teenagers, as the pressure to find something ‘cool’ or that will impress their friends is high.
However, one mum has shared that she chose not to buy her daughter any gifts for her 13th birthday in hopes it will ‘teach her a lesson’.
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The mum took to the popular Reddit forum ‘Am I The A**hole’ (AITA) to explain her decision, stating that her daughter kept changing her mind about what gift she wanted.
She posted: “My daughter turned 13 yesterday. I made sure to ask her what she wants for her birthday a few months in advance. She gave me a list. Great. I explained she won’t be getting everything from the list as it was big and some things were expensive. She understood.”
“About a week after we had that conversation, she tells me she wants tickets to a show for her birthday. Going to the show would also mean travelling a little out of the city. Neither are cheap. So I told her that would be the only gift she would get and would also replace a party. She said that’s what she wants and I triple checked before I booked tickets.”
The mum continued: “A couple of weeks ago, would you believe, she tells me she changed her mind again. She wants clothes instead of the show. I told her I already booked everything so there’s absolutely no way. She got into a strop about it and said she isn’t going. I told her fine I’ll take someone else, fully expecting her to later apologise and say she is coming.”
“But the apology never came. In fact her attitude got worse and she got into trouble at school. She asked me if I got her the clothes and I told her no, I’m sticking to my word. I don’t think she believed me. Well her birthday came and she realised I wasn’t bluffing. I didn’t get her any gifts. She was appalled and I was the worst mother ever. I told her she’s learned a valuable lesson. I really wanted to make her birthday special but she was being awful. Of course other relatives got her things but none from me.”
“She told her grandparents her side of the story. Which was of course all one sided making her out as a victim. They called me and I explained to them the whole truth. They also think I’m awful and the “poor girl” needs gifts from her mother. I told them next year will be different if she behaves. AITA? “.
Many people sided with the mum, stating she was ‘not the a**hole’ (NTA), as she taught her daughter a valuable lesson.
One user commented: “NTA. She’s being a spoiled brat. You did get her something, something she said she wanted, and she decided she wanted something else after it was too late to change.”
Another agreed, adding: “You are NTA. You are raising a human that knows that actions have consequences, GOOD FOR YOU, truly.”
A further Reddit chimed in, saying: “Personally I think that at 13; teaching this type of lesson is valuable. She’s not too young to not fully grasp what it means to be a brat, and she’s not too old that she can’t learn from it.”
However, some sympathised with the daughter, suggesting the mum could have thrown her a party. One person questioned: “Did you still get her a card and a cake? I mean you made a bargain, she learned her lesson about the present. But other celebrations not as dependent on money don’t get canceled do they? ? I’m trying to figure out if on her actual birthday you a) took away the already spent gift money or b) took away love.”
Another agreed, adding: “I’m also thinking they still could have had a party. As a young adult, I once had a large birthday party where I served a giant pot of spaghetti and a large salad. And two-buck chuck (famously a not-terrible $2 bottle of wine). I spent about $15 and it was an excellent party.