Peter Crouch was given the red card by wife Abbey Clancy over his secret nickname for her – San Marino.
The former Liverpool and England striker joked it’s because she “kicks off every 10 minutes” just like the footballing minnows.
They are the worst ranked national team in world football in 210th, according to the game’s governing body FIFA.
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Crouchy, 43, explained: “San Marino is a footballing nation that haven’t won much and they lose quite heavily at times. They kick off every sort of 10 minutes, the football team.
“So when you’re bad at football, you lose, you concede a goal, and you kick-off every 10 minutes. It’s just a little joke from me and my mates!”
(Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images)
Three years ago England hit double figures with a 10-0 win in the San Marino Stadium, Serravalle – with skipper Harry Kane bagging four of them.
The Three Lions have netted more goals against them than any other nation – 52 in eight games – while their record defeat was a 13-0 thrashing at home by Germany in 2006.
Since beginning to officially compete in 1990, they have lost 200 of their 210 games, conceded more than 800 goals, and have only ever won one game – a 1-0 friendly over fellow no-hopers Liechtenstein 20 years ago.
(Image: Getty Images)
Peter confessed to his model missus Abbey, 38, on their podcast The Therapy Crouch but denied he was calling her “a loser”.
She replied: “So you’re saying to me, you’re going to work, slagging me off, laughing at me behind my back? You love your own jokes, don’t you? You literally laugh your head off at everything you say. I’m actually starting to think there’s something wrong with him, you know.”
Peter admitted: “I do, I really find them funny! Yeah I do. It’s probably a fault of mine.”