When the news headline “18-year-olds to do National Service” flashed up on my phone, I nearly choked on my sandwich.
I was away on holiday when the news pinged through, sending me into a slightly panicked, sweaty tailspin as I grappled for details and imagined my kids holding rifles.
I’m not entirely sure my 12-year-old son should be trusted with the toaster (I’ll chalk that up as another one of my parent failings), so a gun? Terrifying.
I know we are talking about 18-year-olds, but it is hard to consider that just at the point when they might wobble out of the family home, ready to tackle a washing machine and a microwave, that they could instead be faced with the front lines.
All respect to those parents of brave British Army cadets as they wave off their sons and daughters – it must be tough when that’s a choice.
But mandatory service? A battalion of unwilling, untrained teens? Is it the Dark Ages? Have the Tories lost the plot? The Army doesn’t even want them. They say these teens wouldn’t go to war, but at a time when it seems the entire globe is volatile, do you trust them? I don’t.
On further inspection of Sunak-Service, once I was over the shock and horror, the voluntary work option may have something in it. At least engaging youngsters in the community puts our kids – and they are kids – in the line of kindness, not the line of fire. But Rishi Sunak’s desperate pledge has already been blasted as bonkers, with the £2.5billion policy seen as an election gimmick.
Our Covid kids lost two years of the real world (was this their National Service?) – we want them to thrive in meaningful work, not compel them to join up. It’s like a combo of youth prison and Boy Scouts – with real live weapons – for the Instagram generation.
Next thing you know, a camera crew will film them for a Teen SAS reality show, probably involving Bear Grylls yelling as some kid cries that they just want to be a web designer.
On the other side of the vote-securing fence, Labour leader Keir Starmer is also throwing a spotlight at the younger generation, saying he wants to slash the voting age to 16.
At 16, they can legally work, have sex, get married and join the Army, but do they have enough life experience?
It’s another thorny issue – and one that makes me look at my children in mild wonder and trepidation – but I’d rather they held a ballot paper than a shotgun any day.