Most people have used a pickup line to introduce themselves to a stranger, only for it to fall flat.
Now, psychologists have identified an approach that they claimed will hit the mark every time.
While people may choose to use comedy or subtle statements when speaking to a stranger, several studies found that being direct was the best strategy.
This option could be outright sayin, ‘you’re really cute, can I buy you a drink?’
There are three types of pickup lines you can use when approaching someone at a café, bar, bookstore or other social place – direct, subtle or comedic. A 2020 study showed that people are more attracted to a direct approach because they can easily understand which will ignite an initial spark faster than the comedic lines, which was the least popular of all three
Pickup lines are a way to start talking to someone you’re interested in and can be a way to share your character and attractive traits with another person.
The smooth lines have also become more popular in the age of online dating as people have one chance to make an impression that is done through messaging.
While many people may put it all on the table during that shot, some hide their intentions by taking a comedic approach – but experts have found that the approach makes people seem unintelligent or untrustworthy.
1. The type of pickup line
Researchers have determined that there are three types of pickup lines people use to get another individual’s attention – direct, subtle or comedic.
However, being direct was found to be the most successful.
That is because using this approach suggested the person was honest in sharing their thoughts, feelings and intentions with others.
By asking them to grab a coffee or saying you want to get to know them shows that you’re likely more invested in finding a partner than other alternatives like using humor or subtle conversation starters.
Meanwhile, the more subtle option is used to start a conversation if you aren’t ready to tell the person you’re looking for a romantic relationship.
This pickup line could be noticing something the person is doing, for example, if you’re at a coffee shop and notice the person is reading a book, asking them what they think of the book so far.
Yet some people insist on taking the more flippant approach by using a cheesy line like: ‘Have we met? Because you look like my next girlfriend’ or ‘Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?’
Out of the three possible ways to start a connection with a perfect stranger, researchers said being direct is the best option.
‘For both men and women, users of direct lines are perceived as being the most likable and responsible, as well as being the least selfish,’ researchers at Saint Mary’s University explained in a 2020 study.
The study also showed that people are more attracted to those whose motives THEY [we] can easily understand, which will ignite an initial spark faster than the comedic lines – the least popular of all three.
‘The innocuous and flippant lines are theorized to protect the user from rejection, as they can disguise a failed attempt as a simple question or a joke,’ the researchers wrote.
A 2021 study found that women looked at men’s positive attributes like their kindness, intelligence, how trustworthy they seemed and how friendly they were as a determining factor for long-term relationships. Using flippant lines when approaching someone ‘conveyed lower trustworthiness and intelligence,’ researchers wrote in a study
2. The type of connection you’re looking for
The most effective pickup lines depend on what type of connection the person you’re talking to is looking for, whether they’re hoping for a shorter term or long-term relationship.
People who are looking for a more long-term committed relationship are still drawn to the direct approach because it conveys that they’re more serious about getting to know the person.
Using a flippant line ‘conveyed lower trustworthiness and intelligence,’ researchers at State University of New York wrote in a separate study.
However, the team found that the type of pickup line didn’t matter for people looking for a short-term relationship and suggested that in those scenarios, they are more concerned with how attractive the person is, rather than his or her pickup line.
3. The type of personality you’re trying to show off
Pickup lines can reveal more about your personality than just being direct or indirect, like showing off your sincerity, creativity, sense of humor, and above all, confidence.
A 2021 study found that pickup lines identified a person’s positive attributes like their kindness, intelligence, how trustworthy they seemed and how friendly they were as a determining factor for long-term relationships.
Although complimentary and humorous lines were more well-received than a generic ‘hello,’ researchers reported that it wasn’t successful because it didn’t show off the person’s true personality.
People are generally drawn to those who exude confidence, making that direct approach the best option.