Like thousands of British teenagers, 19-year-old Jay Slater chose the resort of Los Cristianos in the Canary Islands for his first holiday abroad without his doting mother Debbie or older brother Zac. There was going to be sun, cheap booze and plenty of drugs on offer. I know the resort only too well – it’s where my dad died unexpectedly a few years ago.
The trainee bricklayer, from Oswaldtwistle in Lancashire, flew to Tenerife with best friend Brad. They planned to spend a weekend at the NRG music festival in Playa De Las Americas, enjoying the bars and clubs that line the seafront in this horribly over-developed tourist trap. Not my idea of fun, but who can deny its appeal to a couple of young men (and their friend Lucy) away from sensible parents and British weather?
Sadly, what should have been a fun experience ended in tragedy last Monday, with a helicopter winching Jay’s lifeless body from an impassible ravine in a wilderness area at the other end of the island, a 45-minute drive from the ugly tower blocks of Los Cristianos.
Jay had been missing for 29 days, in spite of a massive search operation and a huge amount of publicity. Leaving the festival, he had wanted to carry on partying, and hitched a lift in the small hours of the morning to a remote Airbnb in the hamlet of Masca with two strangers. Inexplicably, he wandered out onto the road around 8am, and when he found he’d missed the bus back to his hotel, decided to walk.
It would have taken 11 hours – which seems a crazy decision, but would a naïve teenager who finds himself in a strange country after partying for hours be thinking logically? Of course not.
Jay Slater pictured with his mother Debbie Duncan. She is now being mercilessly trolled online by people accusing her of somehow profiting from her son’s demise
Janet Street-Porter pictured with her father, who died of a heart attack while in Tenerife and is now buried on the island
Debbie and the family are ‘heartbroken’, and have visited the place where Jay’s body was found to lay flowers and leave messages. One read ‘Love you little bro. Zac xxx’.
Decent people would allow Debbie to grieve, but she has been trolled and trashed horribly, the victim of bullying and vicious smears, accused of somehow profiting from her son’s demise.
All because of the GoFundMe site, set up by Jay’s friend Lucy, which sought to raise funds in order to bring his family out to the island to help with the search.
Now, the fund has raised over £60,000, well over the original target of £30,000. Money will have to be used to pay for the Dutch search and rescue team who arrived just a day before Jay was found. The Spanish police had called off their own search after 12 days, during which they’d brought in sniffer dogs, drones and a helicopter to search the unforgiving ravines and gullies in the area where Jay was last seen. The next few days must have been torture for the family, with wild theories and rumours of criminal activity circulating online. Jay was said to have left the country, but there was never any evidence to support that theory.
Debbie had said the money raised in donations would be used for food, equipment and accommodation for searchers. She was also being assisted by the charity LBT Charity Global Ltd, who specialise in finding missing people abroad and co-ordinating the return of deceased family members.
The charity states clearly on their website that they expect the family or next of kin to pay the actual costs of repatriation, they simply provide all the information, researching logistics and options.
Debbie has caused outrage in some quarters by asking for further donations so that Jay can ‘have the send-off he deserves’ back in the UK.
And why shouldn’t she? I know rather a lot about repatriating a body from Tenerife – my father died of a heart attack in Los Cristianos whilst playing cards with my mum and friends at their flat in a characterless tower block just off the beach.
A floral tribute left to Jay Slater’s older brother Zak close to the scene where the teenager’s body was found
Jay Slater’s body was found in a treacherous ravine miles from where his phone last pinged, four weeks after he was last seen
Janet Street-Porter, pictured here on Loose Women on Wednesday, asks: ‘Why are people are demonising Debbie Slater for wanting to bring her son home and thank those who helped find him when the Spanish police had “given up”?’
I got a tearful phone call at 3am from mum begging me to come out and ‘sort everything out’ – so off I went, paying a fortune for flights via Madrid because the only direct ones were operated by package holiday operators.
In spite of living there for several months every year, my mother had never learnt Spanish. Dad usually stayed at home in Wales, playing golf with his mates in the grey drizzle, while she learned yoga and swam with her mates from January to April, turning the colour of an old leather handbag. This time, he’d joined her for a short visit, when he suffered a massive heart attack and died on the way to hospital. When I arrived next day, my mother had taken too many sleeping pills and was incoherent.
At first, she wanted his body repatriated and a funeral in the UK. We had no assistance from the Embassy, just a meeting with a travel rep from the tour operator who had arranged dad’s flights. She explained how complicated and costly repatriation of his body would be.
Then mum changed her mind and wanted dad cremated – but that proved to be very complicated to arrange. If you glance at the Foreign Office current advice for dealing with a death in Spain, you’ll see it involves a lot of detective work. They just offer lists, so you have to do all the research in a foreign language. Most people ask charities like LBT global to assist, as Debbie did.
Luckily, my mother changed her mind a third time, and sensibly decided to have a funeral in Tenerife and bury my dad in the sweet cemetery on the side of the mountain behind Los Cristianos. Using my O level Spanish, I got the death certificate, found an undertaker, chose a coffin and organised the funeral. We found a local English vicar to officiate and I put together a short service.
Choosing a coffin was the worse part, and very expensive. Of course, dad would probably have preferred a burial in the UK, so that his golfing mates and old office pals could attend and drink a pint or three in his honour. But this way was far cheaper, and mum would be able to visit his resting place on her regular visits to their holiday flat.
Then mum wanted a party, so my sister and I spent hours in the supermarket buying booze and food so that her friends could send Dad off to the great card game in the sky.
I have never visited Dad’s grave, or returned to Los Cristianos. It is full of sad memories. I passed through the town a few years ago, heading straight to the harbour and the ferry for the island of La Gomera- rugged and relatively unspoilt- for a walking holiday.
Why are people demonising Debbie Slater for wanting to bring her son home and thank those who helped find him when the Spanish police had ‘given up’?
Jay was guilty of no crime, he was just a naïve teenager who made the dumb decision to walk back home after a long night. Let’s not cause his loving mum any more grief.