A woman who gouged her own eyes out to “get closer to God” is now adjusting to living with her self-inflicted blindness.
Kaylee Muthart tragically gouged out her own eyes in a harrowing, drug-induced incident because she believed it would save the world. She was just 20 at the time in 2018.
That year marked a turning point in Kaylee’s life; it was then that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and experienced a mental breakdown following a heart-wrenching breakup.
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During this tumultuous time, she turned to drugs to dull the overwhelming emotions. Speaking to Cosmopolitan about the harrowing experience of self-harm, she recalled: “I was hallucinating, so my memories are fuzzy.
(Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
“I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me. I thought everything would end abruptly and everyone would die if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately.”
She recounted the harrowing experience: “I pushed my thumb, pointer, and middle finger into each eye. I gripped each eyeball, twisted, and pulled until each eye popped out of the socket. It felt like a massive struggle, the hardest thing I ever had to do. Because I could no longer see, I don’t know if there was blood. But I know the drugs numbed the pain.”
Her mother, Katy Tompkins, recently took to Facebook to commend Kaylee’s incredible strength after she courageously signed up for gym membership. She posted: “My beautiful sweet love Kaylee Muthart at the gym. I am so so proud of her and I thank God for her and her love for God.”
(Image: Kaylee Muthart)
In response to the heart-warming post that included a gym selfie, Kaylee commented: “Somehow, I knew this would end up on here lol, I love you so much! Always ok with me.”
Her dad, Phillip Tompkins, also chimed in, saying: “My beautiful beautiful daughter love her so much.”
Now 25, Kaylee recently chatted with the Daily Star from her abode in Florida where she resides with her partner Alex. She’s employed washing dishes at Jimmy Hula’s eatery, but she’s not stopped there; having attended a school for the blind she’s now completing her high school diploma with aspirations to delve into neurobiology.
(Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
When we asked if she ever reflects on how her life might have unfolded differently, the South Carolina native offered a thoughtful reflection: “That is the one thing I ponder a lot. I try not to think too deeply about it but I guess it does happen.
“I was probably thinking about that last night. But I guess when I open the window or crack the window for my cat in the morning, I wonder what it looks like out there. So when I open the window and stuff I think maybe God will help me see everything I have missed one day.
“I would like to see my loved ones get older, see what colour my cat is, I got him after I went blind. It’s like, imagine someone explaining to you what a character on a TV show looked like. They could tell you all the different attributes but until you look at them you will never know, you just won’t.
(Image: Facebook)
“Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness.
“Even when you are blind it is not dark. I visualise like silhouettes of what I think is there. If I reach for it and it is incorrect it will change like that.”
And mentioning her drug addiction, she added: “Sometimes I think it’s a blessing that I am blind because even nowadays, if I ever do get a drug craving, which is very little, but in addiction when you have used the needle, you can imagine the blood going into the syringe and that is an eyesight temptation. You can’t really do it blind, you could do it I’m sure, but I don’t know if it would be smart.”
(Image: SWNS)
Kaylee underwent a life-changing procedure three years ago when she had a prosthetic eye fitted, designed to resemble her original eyes, bringing immense joy to her family and friends. She finds happiness in the simple pleasures of life, such as returning home to her cat and indulging in her love for music.
Before her mother’s Facebook post went viral, Kaylee shared with us her aspirations to get back into shape, mentioning: “We have a gym membership we are working on. I also have a guitar and I am planning on getting a piano.
“I only know like two songs on each but that is a passion of mine and singing too, so I go to karaoke on Monday nights.”
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