Serial cheat Kyle Walker, father to four children with his wife Annie and two with his on-off mistress Lauryn, is no paragon of virtue.
But the footballer struck a victory for men everywhere this week when a judge decreed his ex’s demands for support were completely out of order.
Judge Edward Hess ruled that after Walker had bought Lauryn a £2.4 million home, paid hundreds of thousands for her living costs and maintenance for their children, her demands that he increase his support to what amounted to a salary of £350,000 a year meant Lauryn had treated Kyle ‘like an open-ended chequebook’.
His Honour was right — and how many divorced men on more modest incomes than Kyle’s must have punched the air screaming: ‘Yes! I am not a cash cow for life!’
Lauryn Goodman and Kyle Walker outside court after their child maintenance case
No one was impressed with Lauryn’s cry that ‘Kyle and Annie’s children have AstroTurf in their garden so why shouldn’t mine?’ at a cost of £31,000.
This was because daughter Kinara, a one-year-old, was allegedly showing promise as a footballer and needed it as she could play for England like Daddy. Lauryn claimed she needed a new £70,000 Mercedes GLE every three years, plus a £30,000 car for the nanny — who couldn’t drive. Then there’s £33,000 for air-conditioning.
Of course some women are abandoned by the fathers of their children. They have a tough deal trying to make them pay proper maintenance. That’s appalling.
Yet I hope this case sets a precedent. I know too many men who have gone through bitter divorces tell the same story: that their exes see them as a free financial ride. The judge’s conclusions were an excoriating humiliation for Chequebook Lauryn, a victory for Kyle — and a dire warning for every aggrieved, grasping woman who sees their ex as a meal-ticket for life.
And not a moment too soon.
Cover up, Katy!
Katy Perry’s much-heralded ‘comeback single’ Woman’s World was an utter flop, peaking at No 63 on the US Hot 100 then disappearing. So what does any ageing singer do when her career is tanking? Take her clothes off! With this outfit, mum-of-one Katy, 39, has gone a bit too far in the desperation stakes.
Clearly Huw Edwards never gave a thought to the welfare of the children — one just seven — he watched being sexually abused. But you might have hoped he’d think about the effect his actions would have on his five adult children, who must live with his disgrace for the rest of their lives.
Strictly silence
Has the BBC used the Huw Edwards scandal as an opportunity to postpone bad news? Its inquiry into bullying on Strictly was due to conclude this week yet there’s still no sign of the results. Fans of Amanda Abbington, the woman at the centre of the row, can still see her in a show ironically called When It Happens To You, in a small North London theatre. Amanda broke down in tears on opening night — maybe when she saw the audience. The 200-seat theatre was said to be half-empty.
Now Meghan’s a Kate lockalike
Kate reveals her cancer diagnosis, left, and Meghan in her US TV interview
After noticing her hair has been glossily scraped back recently, I did a double take when I saw these pictures of Meghan in her first US TV interview since Oprah. She seems to have gone for a hairstyle identical to the one Kate sported as she bravely told the world she had cancer. Creepy or what?
On Thursday — just as GPs voted for industrial action halving the number of appointments per day — I got an email from my surgery telling me to book a routine consultation as soon as possible. One hour on the phone listening to recorded messages before the line cut out and that’s before the doctors have done their worst.
Andy Murray ended his tennis career at the Olympics crying ‘happy tears’, hailed as a national hero. He fought through injury to compete for Team GB in Paris — unlike Emma Raducanu who, worried about playing on different surfaces, bailed out of the Olympics to ‘prioritise her body’. That girl’s got a lot to learn about loyalty before she wins our hearts, let alone another tournament.
How fitting that former What Not To Wear star Trinny Woodall will be a new face on Dragons’ Den. After the suicide of her ex and dad to her daughter Lyla, in 2014, Trinny struggled financially then invested in start-up beauty company Trinny London — now worth £180 million. Trinny, you wear it well.
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s marriage is ending after two years, with reports that divorce papers have been served and they plan a statement saying they still love each other. Maybe J- Lo’s smug documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told, which was ridiculed and Ben opposed, should never have been told after all.
High-end magazine Tatler’s decision to name Princess Beatrice as Britain’s Best Dressed Person 2024 tells us one of two things: either they have a wicked sense of humour or they will do anything to grab headlines, even if it is at the expense of our comely Bea.
I have nothing to add to the debate surrounding Olympic boxer Imane Khelif, who smashed Angela Carini, 25, in the face this week in a fight that lasted seconds. Just look at this picture — and judge for yourself whether Khelif should be competing with women.
Westminster wars
As 255 illegal migrants left on a boat from Calais on Sunday, one shouted out: ‘This is for Rishi Sunak.’ Odd that, as it’s Starmer they should be thanking. Having cancelled the Rwanda scheme, the Labour leader will have to explain how more than 3,000 boat migrants have crossed the Channel illegally since he came to power — with no solution in sight.
Why was scrapping some pensioners’ winter fuel allowance the first chop Chancellor Reeves made? Because Labour see the elderly as politically valueless. It’ll be the triple lock next, mark my words.
After the Bank of England cut interest rates to 5 per cent and policymakers more than doubled UK growth forecasts for this year, how can Labour continue to parrot the claim they’ve inherited the weakest economy since 1945?
Once-great TV presenter Jonathan Ross says plans to build 93 homes near his £2million Dorset farmhouse will cause him a ‘distressing loss of privacy’, as neighbours will be able to look into his bedroom. Sorry to break it to you, Wossy, but no one’s wanted to peep into your bedroom for a long time.
Researchers claim weight-loss jabs such as Wegovy also guard against dementia and diabetes and even help you cut alcohol and cigarettes. Crikey, since the NHS budget for diabetes is £9.8 billion and dementia £2.7billion, maybe we should all be on them.