I feel threatened by my bloke’s female friend. She is disarmingly beautiful and clever. She and he have been close for 10 years.
They dated briefly in 2014, and I’m convinced he’s still in love with her and fantasises about her when having sex with me.
I worry he’s marking time as far as I’m concerned. If she clicked her fingers, I reckon he’d drop me like a hot potato. They speak on the phone every day and message in between
READ MORE: ‘My boyfriend and I have amazing sex life – but he blabs to pals who now call me grubby’
Click for more from your favourite agony aunt Just Jane at the Daily Star.
She only has to hint at a problem at her flat (dripping tap, etc.) and he’s round there.
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It’s glaringly obvious that our relationship is a joke as far as she’s concerned. She loves to stir up trouble and point score against me.
If I arrange to go out with my friends – leaving my bloke home alone – then she’s round here double quick. She brings booze and snacks and they get wasted. More than once, I’ve found her passed out in our spare bed.
He swears they’ve not had sex for years, but who do I believe? Whenever I meet her – at a party or in a public place – she looks right through me.
She’s has never asked me a single question about my job, my health or family. I try to be the bigger person and tell her that she looks nice, and she smirks as if to say: “I know.”
I find her superior and sly. I was horrified when I found out she’d been invited to his mum and dad’s wedding anniversary party. She spent the whole night hanging off his arm, to such an extent that I felt ridiculous.
(Image: Getty Images)
Eventually I stormed off, got drunk and danced on my own – and he didn’t even notice.
Eventually he took her home because she was feeling tired. I was left to find my own way back.
How am I supposed to feel?
JANE SAYS: Lots of guys have female mates in 2024. That’s not usual, but there’s no excuse for crossing a line.
The night your guy left you to make your own way home from his parents’ party because he was more concerned with his ex-girlfriend’s welfare than yours was downright rude.
He may claim to be in a relationship with you, but he certainly doesn’t treat you with kindness and consideration. What do your friends and family make of your relationship? It would be good to hear their opinions.
When you’re ready, and feeling stronger, sit him down and make it clear you don’t appreciate being a spare part in your own relationship. Doesn’t he care about how much he embarrasses and humiliates you?
If you asked him to ditch this best mate completely, then how would he react? I worry he and she have unfinished business – that she gets some kind of kick out of keeping him hanging on.
If this pair are hurting you and bringing you down, then maybe you need to tell them to get on with their weird set-up. Show your teeth and get tough as you deserve better.
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