The mob is running amok in Woking – or so Ross Kemp would have you believe.
The Eastenders hard nut revealed on his new show about the UK’s criminal underworld, that the sleepy commuter belt town is being used as a hub for American-style mafiosos keen to keep out of sight, and out of mind. But is he right? Is Woking really awash with gangsters? The Daily Star went to find out.
My mission was clear as I stepped off the train: search for signs that Woking was in fact the UK’s answer to Tony Soprano’s New Jersey. Dressed in my best mafia getup to blend in with the locals, I inconspicuously snooped around town undercover.
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The words of Ross Kemp, 60, echoed in my mind: “The very reason they choose places like this is because it’s the last place authorities would look. The Mafia have always served to fill a gap in illegal markets.”
(Image: Tim Merry)
I had to be alert, they could be anywhere. I headed to a little café and ordered a black coffee, eager to not be outed as a fraud. I sat at a tiny table, hunting for signs, smells, anything that could help me find what I was looking for – and let me tell you dear Daily Star reader, Ross was bang on – Woking is basically 1920s New York.
The first thing that gave it away was the two old ladies who arrived at the café shortly after my coffee was served.
“Ooooo look our table’s free,” one said to the other. As anyone who has watched a single episode of Peaky Blinders will know, mob bosses always have ‘their table’ in their incognito hang spots. I tried not to look at the ladies as one lit cigarette after cigarette, “I might have another, it’s so peaceful here,” one said, pulling out her pack. Gangster.
(Image: Tim Merry)
The next big clues came moments later and in tandem. Suddenly there was a roar as a big white Range Rover pulled around the corner, windows blacked out it was a classic mob motor, no two ways about it. It probably belonged to one of the top guy’s lieutenants. Then, moments later there was another almighty roar as a small Learjet barrelled overhead. It clearly belonged to the main guy himself. I wondered if he was going to see his contact in South America or was on his way back.
This place was like a movie. I had come on the chance of getting a whiff of gang activity, but after just a few hours my odds of witnessing a driveby felt almost certain.
Walking past all the soldiers and hitmen masquerading as mothers with toddlers, I saw the next dead giveaway – two Italian restaurants next to one another. Everyone knows some of the best mob films of all time have featured families of Italian descent – it was too much of a coincidence to ignore.
(Image: Tim Merry)
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any crazier, I noticed a barber shop where the L in its name had been replaced with a pistol, its grip forming the base of the L and its barrel as the upright. Scenes.
More than confident that Woking belonged to the mob, I made one last stop where I’d heard the town’s criminals like to hang out, Pizza Express, but it was quiet today with just a couple of regular mobsters having pizzas in the window.
Woking wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore, it was flaunting its criminality, a clear slap in the face to the rest of leafy Surrey.
Whatever you do, if you want to live, do not go to Woking. I repeat do not go to Woking, Ross was right.
Ross Kemp: Mafia and Britain started on Tuesday at 9pm on Sky HISTORY.