It’s Andy Cole’s birthday today, so I’ll try not to rain on his parade too much.
As someone who was born 28 years after the former Manchester United and England player, I actually had no clue who Mr Cole was until I was tasked with listening to his one and only single ‘Outstanding’.
But will the four minute and six second song live up to its name or will it go down like a lead balloon? And will having to watch the video for the song make my job a dream or a case for HR?
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The 1999 song is off to a good start as I hit play. My shoulders and head instantly bop to the 90s rap soundtrack yet my eyes squint trying to focus on the incredibly grainy video.
Andy is looking dashing. His singular earring sparkles as he cruises down a street lit by club lights. What a stud! However, the attraction to 1999 Andy Cole quickly withers away.
A bucket-hatted man begins to rap and it all goes down hill from there – as do all situations involving a man in a bucket hat. ‘No one can do it better with Outstanding,’ the pair rap.
Well, I think they can. The female vocalist then sings the chorus and I instantly realise the horror of what I’m experiencing. Upon realisation that Andy – signed to WEA/Warner Music – had sampled ‘Outstanding’ from soul group The Gap Band, I really didn’t want to listen to a further three minutes of them butchering a classic.
But, we go on. Andy is happily rapping in the sports car while the driver says nothing while keeping his eyes fixed and focused on the road ahead – literally and emotionally.
(Image: Getty Images)
The former Manchester United player reels off lyrics in ode to his footy career, like “united forever, whatever the weather, less than 100%, never.” He eventually makes it to the club – a nightclub – where he continues to rap and mingle amongst the ladies.
That’s all before he bizarrely has a game of table football with a roaring audience around him.
The best part of the song was when Andy was not singing, or attempting to rap. Though I will say this, he is somewhat of a lyrical genius. Could Eminem rhyme forever with never? Don’t think so.
The subtle nods to his football career, one that was most definitely more successful than his stab at music, were endearing. All criticism aside, I’ve got to respect Andy at his attempt of a rebrand.
It takes guts and courage to do, though he is obviously better versed in scoring goals than scoring hits as his version of Outstanding charted at 68 all those 25 years ago.
Maybe Andy could revive his singing career? We are going through a 90s revival at the moment after all. How about Oasis take Wembley and Andy for a Butlins Big Weekender? I’m game.