Superwoman is being laid to rest – and not before time! Several female business leaders have warned of the dangers of telling young women they can ‘have it all’ and dismissed the idea of a work-life balance as unrealistic.
Their comments really hit home with me – not least because of my role in helping perpetuate the Superwoman ideal.
In 1989, I had a four-year-old and a two-year-old and was working 36 hours a week as a nurse over three night shifts at weekends.
Every Friday at 6 pm, I’d pass my husband at the door as he got in from work. A quick kiss, a list of instructions handed over and then I’d jump in the car he’d left running for me to head to the hospital.
He had the girls while I slept during the day on Saturday and Sunday, and I’d race home early on Monday morning to relieve him so he could get to work.
Female business leaders have warned of the dangers of telling young women they can ‘have it all’ and dismissed the idea of a work-life balance as unrealistic
I’d try to get some sleep while the youngest was at playgroup, but I lost count of the times I slept through the 11.45 am alarm I’d set to pick her up at noon. The look on my little girl’s face – the only child left – when I’d finally get there is burnt into my brain.
I hated it. I missed my daughters and my husband and we both resented the hours we weren’t spending together as a family.
Then the lightbulb moment. It came one evening as we sat on the sofa watching TV and bemoaning the coming weekend. The Conservative minister Gillian Shephard was being interviewed about the introduction of the Children Act – and it sparked an idea for a business.
At that time, many women didn’t return to the work after having children. The UK had a tight labour market and firms were desperate to hang on to their senior female employees but at a loss as to how to do it.
We showed them how. Paul and I started a childcare consultancy, Company Kids, which worked with businesses to find nurseries, childminders, nannies and au pairs to enable women to return to work. And in tandem with HR departments and employees, we helped negotiate return-to-work packages.
In short, we found a way to help those women to have it all – and, in theory, achieve a work-life balance.
Within a year, I had five of the top ten blue chip companies as clients. I never had to advertise: word of mouth from one CEO or HR director to another was all that it took.
I gave up nursing to build a phenomenally successful business – one with a real sense of purpose, too. I was playing my part in changing Britain and getting women – with all their experience and expertise – back into the workplace.
When New Labour won the 1997 general election, Harriet Harman, who was the first ever Minister for Women, sent a team of officials to our head office to see what we did.
And when I sold to Bupa in 1999, one company CEO commented at the handover that ‘women can now have it all. They can have their children and keep their high-flying careers’.
I remember feeling distinctly uncomfortable as he said that.
By then, we looked after more than 2,000 female employees for our clients, from lawyers to city finance workers to life sciences researchers. In those mothers, I was beginning to see myself ten years earlier. The guilt in their eyes; the exhaustion; the misery.
Yes, they had help with childcare and, yes, they had someone to fight their corner in negotiating favourable return-to-work packages, but the wearing reality of their lives was giving them little joy.
They were juggling demanding careers with mothering and running a household, with all it entails. Not having it all but doing it all.
I realised, then, that I’d created a business on the back of a lie.
I see it differently now: if women choose to combine motherhood with careers, then businesses still need a much more flexible approach to facilitate it. It is why I’ll always be an advocate of working from home for women who want that option.
I have seen first-hand how it benefits everyone – the children especially. Some men do play their role but, frankly, when it comes to child rearing and domestic duties, women will always bear the brunt of it.
Supporting women and families as a priority supports, in turn, a stronger society and economy. So farewell, Superwoman, you won’t be missed!
Hannah seeks Marmite-lover
Hannah Waddingham wants a man to scoop her up, take her to bed and afterwards eat Marmite on toast with her.
The multi-talented Ted Lasso star said she can’t remember when she last had a first date but admits to being ‘just a bit picky’.
‘I’m 50 and I’m like, ‘Dude, if you are not going to step up, step off and be gone’.
Hannah should take heart from another national treasure, the perennial singleton Miranda Hart, who revealed she tied the knot in July at the age of 51 after falling for the man who came to fix a mould problem at her house. (That’s very Miranda!)
Both stars are widely respected role models for young women in an increasingly misogynistic world. As for romance, hang in there, Hannah – it’s going to happen!
Hannah Waddingham said she can’t remember when she last had a first date but admits to being ‘just a bit picky’
Weight jabs ‘no miracle’
Growing numbers of doctors and health economists argue that weight-loss jabs such as Ozempic and Mounjaro should be more widely available on the NHS because the cost of obesity – it’s linked to heart disease, diabetes, cancer and the rest – is so vast. But based on what I’ve learned – and I’ve lost 1.5 stone – there is a caveat.
When they stop the jabs, most people regain the pounds they’ve lost as they revert to their old eating habits.
A two-pronged approach is vital. It’s about education, too – what you eat and how much. It’s not just a miracle injection.
Boris still gets all the cheers
Kemi Badenoch reportedly swerved an interview with Laura Kuenssberg on Sunday, leaving the sofa to her rival for the Tory Party leadership, Robert Jenrick.
Kemi said she was focused on meeting party members around the country – they receive their ballot papers this week – rather than media interviews.
I’ve spoken to thousands of members over the years and I know which is the easier gig!
Kemi Badenoch reportedly swerved an interview with Laura Kuenssberg on Sunday, leaving the sofa to her rival for the Tory Party leadership, Robert Jenrick
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson spoke at the Cheltenham Literature Festival last week to a 1,000-strong audience who’d paid £50 each to hear him. He was cheered to the rafters, reinforcing my belief that removing Boris from office was the most damaging act of self-harm that MPs have ever inflicted upon the Conservative Party and the country.
And pensioners will be among the first to pay for such recklessness as they face losing their Winter Fuel Payment.
If Boris had still been at the helm, the Tories would have won the election and we would have been spared this disastrous experiment in socialism now being inflicted on us.
It’s already starting to feel a lot like Christmas and we’ve not yet had Halloween! M&S is first out of the gate with a white wine version of mulled wine. Am I alone in thinking that the first two sips of a red mulled wine taste good – but as it cools, it’s utterly undrinkable? Will it be the same with white? I’ll take one for the team and be the first to try it and report back.