‘I attempted McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC ‘secret menu’ gadgets – one made me sick’

Most of us are familiar with the Big Mac, the Burger King Whopper or a KFC Bargain Bucket. But have you heard of the McDonald’s Land Sea and Air burger, Frings or the KFC Poutine?

These are some of the secret menu items rumoured to be available at some of the UK’s favourite fast food joints. To put these rumours to the test, Natasha Wynarczyk ventured to London’s Leicester Square, home to branches of McDonald’s, Burger King and KFC.

Having skipped breakfast that morning, I arrived ready and raring for a fast food feast…McDonald’s was The Mirror’s first port of call on our ‘gourmet tour’ of hidden fast food menus.

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Here, I aimed to sample the Monster Mac, the Land, Sea and Air burger and the Neopolitan Shake. When I requested the first two, I was directed to use the self-service machine to buy the ingredients and assemble them myself.

This involved four Big Macs for the Monster Mac, and a Double Cheeseburger, Filet-O-Fish and McChicken Sandwich for the Land, Sea and Air. As I combined all the various burgers, I ended up making quite a mess, covered in ketchup, bread and lettuce, while attracting curious glances from fellow diners, reports the Mirror.

When it came to the Neopolitan Shake – a blend of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry milkshakes – the server informed me that she couldn’t make it due to the setup of the McDonald’s machines, before swiftly moving on to serve another customer who wasn’t straying from the standard menu.

Monster Mac

• What it is: A mammoth eight Big Mac patties crammed into a single bun
• Price: £19.96
• Calories: 1,103
• Rating: I’ve been accused of having a big mouth in the past, but even I had to dislocate my jaw like a python to take a bite of this McMonstrosity. While the beef did have that classic McDonald’s flavour I love, I’m baffled as to why anyone would want to devour eight patties at once while shelling out nearly £20 for the privilege.
• Score: 2/5

The Land, Sea, and Air Burger

• What it is: Double Cheeseburger, Filet-O-Fish and McChicken Sandwich all in one
• Price: £11.67
• Calories: 1,330
• Rating: There’s a reason this has stayed under wraps. This was a genuine Frankenstein’s Monster and the thought of consuming all these different textures and meats in one bite made me feel sick. And it turns out my instincts were spot on, as after risking jaw injury for the second time to take a bite I felt like retching. While all three of these burgers are items I usually order at McDonald’s, I wasn’t lovin’ it when they were combined.
• Score: 1/5

Burger King

Following the McDonald’s frenzy, The Mirror ventured to Burger King, where we aimed to sample the Rodeo Burger, the BK BLT and Frings. Despite the company’s former slogan ‘have it your way’, in practice, this proved challenging.

The lady serving me was quite resistant to my attempts to order secret items – with a request for onion rings and fries mixed together in a box causing particular confusion. However, I persisted, managed to secure all three items (although I had to assemble the Rodeo myself) and was generally impressed with them.

Rodeo Cheeseburger

• What it is: A cheeseburger with onion rings inside and barbecue sauce.
• Price: £2.29.
• Calories: 380.
• Rating: This felt like a standard burger you’d want to order – which makes sense as it was a popular menu item, first introduced in 1998 before being officially discontinued two years ago. The beef boasted the delicious flame-grilled taste you’d associate with a Burger King patty, while the onion rings and barbecue sauce complimented each other perfectly – and at just over £2, it’s a bargain bite too.
• Score: 5/5.

BK BLT

• What it is: A Whopper with added bacon
• Price: £7.29
• Calories: 747
• Rating: This burger, which you’d typically expect to find on a fast food menu, caused a bit of confusion before I simply requested bacon atop a Whopper. The beef patty was succulent, and the lettuce and tomato lent a fresh flavour and a semblance of healthiness, easing my guilt about what I was subjecting my arteries to. However, it loses a point as they could have been more generous with the bacon given the price.
• Score: 4/5

Frings

• What it is: Onion rings mixed in a box with fries
• Price: £5.98
• Calories: 897
• Rating: I’m still puzzled why the Burger King server was perplexed by this order, as these two sides pair well together in a fast food meal. The onion rings were delightfully crispy and the fries had a good crunch but were fluffy inside, albeit a tad too salty. Nonetheless, it was ultimately a bit bland.
• Score: 3/5

KFC

By this stage, the thought of consuming more fast food was unbearable – but I had one more stop before I could retreat home to lie on my bed and groan. KFC is notoriously tight-lipped, refusing to disclose the 11 herbs and spices that famously season its chicken.

But I was curious to see what the Colonel’s secret menu had to offer. I’d heard of Poutine, the Double Down and the Zinger Twister so decided to give them a try.

The checkout at the front was unattended, forcing me to use the self-service till and make a mess while putting together the items myself. There was also some improvisation with the Double Down, as KFC wasn’t serving bacon so I ended up creating my own version.

Poutine

• What it is: KFC chips covered in gravy and cheese
• Price: £6.59
• Calories: 720
• Rating: This is based on a meal hailing from Canada – but actually reminded me of my favourite kebab shop order after nights out in my home city of Newcastle. It did feel a bit wrong eating this sober in the middle of the day, and it didn’t look visually appealing, but it was finger-lickin’ good. Cheesy chips and gravy is a Geordie special but I’ve rarely seen it on menus in London – I’ve now found somewhere to get my fix, although perhaps KFC is a bit of a strange location for it.
• Score: 4/5

The Double Down

• What it is: Two pieces of fried chicken fillet as opposed to bread, containing bacon, cheese, and a sauce
• Price: £12.98
• Calories: 610
• Rating: This first appeared on the UK KFC menu in 2017 and went viral, becoming the chain’s fastest selling sandwich in recorded history. I ended up using a bit of artistic licence for mine, making a lettuce and mayo sandwich with chicken as the ‘bun’, as KFC didn’t sell bacon and I had used up my cheese for the poutine. It wasn’t completely fowl, as the chicken itself tasted nice – but it felt overall like a bit of a pointless endeavour.
• Score: 2/5

The Zinger Twister

• What it is: A fillet from a Zinger burger in a wrap with a hash brown
• Price: £13.38
• Calories: 612
• Rating: The Twister is a delicious KFC staple – but as a lover of spicy food I’d usually pick a Zinger over a plain Fillet burger – the latter is the one that is the wrap. I had to pay 94% more than the usual £6.89 Twister price to spice it up. Was it worth paying double? Not really. While it was delicious – and something KFC should consider putting on the menu full-time – making it destroyed the integrity of the wrap and it kept falling apart.
• Score: 3/5

My experience left me feeling incredibly sick and greasy – and largely bewildered as to why anybody would go out of their way to order these hidden items. Especially when you consider the fact that you usually have to order different bits and combine them yourself, literally defeating the point of fast food.

While some, especially the burgers from Burger King, made sense and I would try them again, the rest were either ridiculously complicated to make, overpriced or downright disgusting. It turns out some things are best kept secret.