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Martine McCutcheon has revealed she ‘cried and cried and cried’ after being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
The actress and singer, 48, received the diagnosis after the death of her brother LJ, Laurence John, who passed away from an unknown cause at the age of 31.
Martine had been struggling to get out of bed after LJ’s death in 2022, and was later told she had the condition – which has similar symptoms as ADHD but without hyperactivity.
Speaking on the new podcast A Gentle Star: The Showercast on Wednesday, Martine said she was in ‘complete denial’ at the time of her diagnosis, as she grieved for LJ and was also living with ME (chronic fatigue syndrome).
‘At first I went into I went into denial, completely into denial, because my brother had passed away,’ she said. ‘I’ve been diagnosed with ME, and I just thought, I can’t take this diagnosis on and whatever it means.
Martine McCutcheon revealed on the A Gentle Start: The Showercast podcast that she ‘cried and cried and cried’ after being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
he actress and singer, 48, received the diagnosis after the death of her brother LJ, Laurence John, who passed away from an unknown cause at the age of 31
‘I need to just keep going at life the way that I am. And in a way, I was kind of right.
‘And then when I did finally look at it, I cried, I cried, cried and cried, I grieved, and it was just for if only I’d known how different things could have been, how much more with ease I would have been able to have done things.’
Opening up about understanding her diagnosis, Martine said: ‘I always felt there were certain things that I looked at differently, different things I struggled with compared to other people, but different things I found so easy, and I realised, when I got my ADD diagnosis, that I had spent so much time trying to be a square in a round circle, and it was exhausting.
‘It was so draining. It was just so hard. And in a way, I feel like I wasn’t meant to find out, as sad as it was, because I did lose a lot of things in my life.
‘I did struggle with a lot of things that I don’t think I would have done necessarily. I think that if I’d have known before those four years ago that I had ADD, I don’t know if I would have been able to have coped with it the way that I do now.’
The actress lost brother LJ, who had a mild form of special needs, at the age of 31 at the end of 2022.
In October of that year, she told her fans to ‘hold each other extra tight’ in a reflective post.
‘A Blue sky and sunshine Saturday. Have a wonderful weekend all. Hold each other extra tight and make memories,’ she wrote at the time.
Martine had been struggling to get out of bed after her brother LJ’s death in 2022, and was later told she had the condition – which has similar symptoms as ADHD but without hyperactivity
She said the website designer had been due to get married to his fiancé Jay Eaton, 49, in a month’s time and Martine, who was going to be bridesmaid, had seen her brother just a few days before he had died.
She wrote: ‘My heart is forever broken, My baby brother, my gentle giant, sadly passed away, suddenly, 2 weeks ago. He was 31 years old.
‘There is no medical explanation as to why we lost him so soon and whilst we investigate further, we are having to accept that nothing will bring our boy back to us.
‘L.J (Laurence John) was born when I was 15 years old and from the moment I first held him in my arms, I felt so proud and fiercely protective of him. He was such a character!
‘He made us all laugh and loved nothing more than making a plan, having a great play list, bringing people together and generally having a giggle.’
She also thanked fans for their support after his shock death.
‘Hi everyone, I hope you’re well, It’s my first time on Instagram since I shared my post about losing my brother a couple of weeks ago. Firstly, thank you so much for the outpouring of love, it means so much to my family.
The actress lost brother LJ, who had a mild form of special needs, at the age of 31 at the end of 2022 (Pictured in 2013)
‘Today was my first day going back to work, I didn’t know if I could do it or not – I was nervous, a bit of filming and a meeting and I’m so glad I did it.
She continued: ‘I know my brother would want me to keep on keeping on and he was so proud of me and the fact that I liked to inspire people and make them feel good and give them a little bit of magic where I could’.
‘I felt him with me, and I did it, first day back. I did it.’
Alongside the emotional clip she penned: ‘Thank you for your support. Getting back to it bit by bit. I know LJ would want me to carry on’.
‘He was proud of me and understood why I do what I do. Grief is a strange old thing and there is no one way to navigate it but it felt good to do some work. I was nervous but I did it.’
You can listen to Martine’s episode of A Gentle Start: The Showercast podcast from haircare brand Timotei now via Spotify and Apple Music.