Finding the right person to date can be a real task nowadays. Yes, there might be a bucket load of dating apps available in the modern world but you might just find yourself in an endless swipe.
And swiping into the void requires effort, right? So you really don’t want to waste your time landing on a partner who doesn’t match your vibe – or happens to completely dismantle it.
This is a concern shared by many Brits who have been frequently searching on Google the ‘meaning of a narcissist’, ‘gaslighting meaning’ and ‘examples of narcissistic behaviour’.
READ MORE: Brits share three things that put them off a date as one habit will give you a bad start
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As more are concerned about the possibilities of ending up in a toxic – potentially abusive – relationship, a relationship and dating coach has weighed in on how to spot a narcissist. And not crying at this Disney scene is a major red flag.
(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
“A narcissist is someone whose excessive vanity has turned into an obsession. They have such a grandiose sense of self-importance that they truly believe they are better than others, including their loved ones,” says Joanne Jones, Love and Relationship Expert of Trusted Psychics.
“Dating a narcissist will often be unfulfilling as they need excessive attention and admiration without feeling the need to reciprocate, as well as being prone to manipulating others to meet their wants and needs – that’s why it’s important to spot the warning signs before you get in too deep and can protect your peace.”
So what are the five warning signs? Find out below….
Not crying at these Disney scenes
Movies and TV shows are great for getting emotional responses out of people. It’s a great test to see what someone finds funny, scary and sad.
It turns out that if you partner does not shed a tear at Bambi’s mum dying or the opening scene of Up, where the montage shows Carl’s and Ellie’s love story before she dies, then it could be a sign that they lack empathy.
Joanne said: “Narcissists often struggle with understanding or even acknowledging others’ feelings, meaning they can be indifferent to the feelings of those around them.
(Image: Disney)
“This apathy means they are more prone to bullying, cheating, deception and manipulation as they don’t ‘get’ or care about the impact, especially if it doesn’t benefit them.”
It should be noted that someone who doesn’t cry at Disney films isn’t necessarily a narcissist, it just means they might not be the right emotional match for you.
They’re an attention grabber
Apparently narcissists don’t like sharing the spotlight and always want to be centre of attention. This means they will dominate conversations to make everything about them – even attempting to outshine your ‘wins’ by boasting about theirs.
It’s always ‘my horse is bigger than yours’ with a narcissist. Joanne added: “There’s a big difference between being proud and being arrogant, but narcissists believe they are superior in every way, meaning they will find any opportunity to talk about themselves, even if it’s inappropriate.
“Over time, this can break down your self-esteem and leave you feeling ‘less worthy’ of their love, which can be used to manipulate you down the line.”
You’re always the bad one
One of the major red flags is that you are also wrong and they are always right. Narcissists cannot own up to their wrongdoing and will attempt to put the blame on everyone else.
The relationship guru shared that they will even use some seriously concerning tactic like ‘gaslighting’ in order to get their own way and shift the onus onto a partner.
(Image: Getty Images)
Joanne continued: “Narcissists can never admit they are wrong, so they will shift the blame onto their partners, even if they aren’t at fault at all.
“This includes emotional manipulation and gaslighting their partners into believing they are responsible, leading to anxiety and guilt the narcissist can use to their benefit down the line”.
They always eat the last slice of cake
Unfortunately, narcissists will always put their needs before anyone else. And that means they’ll always go for the last slice of cake – quite literally.
They are self-serving people and prioritise what they want even if it’s to the detriment of others. Though, they will never return the favour.
Joanne explained: “Narcissists lack the ability to prioritise their partner’s needs, leading to an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship dynamic that only serves one half of the partnership. Plus, if they ever actually do something, it will then be held against their partner, even if it’s just making them a bad cup of tea.”
Nothing is ever their fault
Similar to making everyone else the ‘bad guy’, narcissists will never take accountability for something considered ‘not golden’. These types of people always want to look good and will be the first to take credit for praise.
But when it comes to forgetting an important date, they’ll shift the blame and put the responsibility on another for not ‘reminding’ them.
(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
Joanne concluded: “Say a narcissist forgets an important date, they might accuse others of not reminding them enough times, placing the blame solely on their shoulders.
“This constant shifting of blame is a classic tactic used to maintain their sense of superiority and keep you doubting your own perceptions, making you vulnerable to their manipulations.”
While everyone has their faults in their personality and within their relationships, being with someone who is controlling and abusive should mean that you seek help for your situation.
If you are concerned about issues of domestic violence or coercive control you can call Refuge’s 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free. The number is 0808 2000 247