Brits are building luxury missile bunkers as Mad Vlad’s threat of nuclear war is edging ever closer.
The survival shelters that are being planned around the country are nothing like what we had back in the war — more akin to suites at the savoy than subterranean slums.
The rich are said to be spending half a mil a pop on the shelters, with one even planning to have a bar inside.
One bunker designer has said he has received thousands of enquiries about his high-quality developments.
However, if you really want to see out the end of the world in style, you would have to go to Kansas in America.
There in the middle of the fields you will find the entrance to the most absurd, luxurious and spectacular bunker the world has ever seen, named the ‘Survival Condo’.
You walk through the eight-tonne steel doors and find yourself in nothing short of an underground city, descending 200 feet and 15 stories underground, with all the amenities you could ever need.
Floor minus-four has a supermarket so you can get your apocalyptic food items — but it won’t be tins of spam and baked beans judging by the up-market vibe of the complex.
However, don’t eat too much of your cataclysmic caviar or overdrink your apocalyptic aperitif because you might want to go for a swim in the pool that is set safely inside the hill on level one.
After your swim you can choose what activity you want to do. If you’re up for a bit of fun while the rest of the world burns, you could visit the arcade. If you fancy stroking an animal you can go to the pet park — and don’t worry if one of them gets stressed about the raging armageddon outside and bites you, there is a medical unit just next door.
You won’t be getting a summer body anymore because the sky is being scorched from the nuclear warfare and seasons will no longer exist, but no need to panic, if you want to get your new apocalypse body you can head to the gym on floor minus-14.
If you’re more of an academic, you can head to the library one floor above, and if you’re a film buff you can go to the cinema on the same level (don’t forget to get your popcorn first from nearly 200 feet above).
The living quarters span seven floors in the middle of the complex and come with every mod con you’d expect in a nuclear missile bunker, like stainless steel minibars and jacuzzi bathtubs.
Surviving the apocalypse in style doesn’t come cheap however, with apartments going for $3m (£2.4m)
For that price you might instead choose to have a nice sit-down on ground level, grab a beer — and watch the world fall apart.