‘Tis the season to get ‘cuffed’ up and canoodle under the mistletoe – but is Christmas just an excuse to stay with your sub par boyfriend? Well, apparently so.
Since time began (probably), there has always been a pressure to get into a relationship around the festive season. If the relentless questioning from elderly relatives about the location of ‘the ring’ and whether they need to buy a hat isn’t bad enough, feeling like you’re stuck with your rubbish partner just to get through Christmas is the cherry on top of the iceberg of impending singleton doom.
And if you’re finding that you’re making excuses for your complacent, lazy and quite frankly incompatible boyfriend then you’re not alone. That’s because you might have a case of the ‘boyfriend blindness’ – just like many other women this Christmas.
READ MORE: Why ‘cost-of-living crisis is causing people to cheat’ as Brits want ‘relief not stress’
READ MORE: Dating guru says demisexuality is on rise as Tulisa makes I’m A Celeb admission
So what is ‘boyfriend blindness? Well, simply put, it’s where you ignore all of the glaring red flags, especially of a new partner, as you just want to have a nice Christmas and save face.
Though, this is of course not recommended and you should exit a relationship if you have any concerns for your safety. But, if you’re just not feeling the spark and have a gut feeling that you shouldn’t be with your boyfriend – then let us fill you in why you want to stay with them.
(Image: Getty Images)
Dr Singh, of the WINIT Clinic speaking on behalf of Condoms.uk, revealed: “Boyfriend Blindness over the festive season makes sense according to cognitive biases and emotional vulnerability, which reach a peak this time of year.
“It is partly driven by a fear of loneliness or societal judgment and the dopamine-driven highs of holiday festivities that will take off the edge of relationship issues momentarily.
“Psychologically, this is a function of confirmation bias, in which individuals selectively focus on their partner’s positive traits or moments in time, overlooking warning signs that do not fit their ideal of what the relationship should look and feel like.
“This bias can be amplified by the festive period, which focuses on shared experiences and shows of togetherness in public.”
Despite humans having an innate need for emotional and sexual connection, the doctor urges that being single and assessing your own needs is a much better choice than staying in an unhappy relationship.
(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
The Daily Star joins Bluesky as we Make Social Media Fun Again
Come and join The Daily Star on Bluesky, the social media site set up by ex-Twitter boss Jack Dorsey. It’s now the new go-to place for content after a mass exodus of the Elon Musk-owned Twitter/X.
Fear not, we’re not leaving Twitter/X, but we are jumping on the bandwagon. So come find our new account on https://bsky.app/profile/dailystar.co.uk, and see us social better than the rest.
You can also learn more about The Daily Star team in what Bluesky calls a “Starter Pack”.
So what are you waiting for?! Let’s M.S.M.F.A (Make Social Media Fun Again)
Instead of trying to play ‘happy couple’, it can be liberating for your mind to be single across the festive season. Just think – you won’t have to share that tub of choc nor put up with brussels sprout farts…
The doctor continued: “The human brain is wired for comfort and to belong, and during the holidays, the emotional state is heightened, making it even more likely that the need for connection may supersede critical thinking or self-preserving instincts.
“It helps a person reflect on core values, practice honest self-assessment, and perhaps elicit trusted input from friends or mental health professionals, which may reduce the risk of remaining in, or entering into, an unhealthy relationship.
“It is critical to remind oneself that this is a time for self-compassion and patience.
“Spending the holidays single and authentically considering one’s needs is often a path to healthier relationships and better self-esteem later on in life.”