I contemplated suicide when my incapacity drove me to all-time low and price me my job, admits Chris Kamara

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Chris Kamara has admitted that he contemplated suicide after his disability drove him to rock bottom and cost him his job.

For over two decades, Chris, 65, was football’s funniest pundit, until he was diagnosed with speech apraxia and forced to leave the job he loved in April 2022.

Fans had shown concern after noticing that his speech was slurred on Sky’s hit football show Soccer Saturday and were devastated at the news of his departure.

Speech therapy has put Chris on the road to recovery, allowing him to announce his triumphant return to TV in an upcoming travel series with Ben Shepard.

Speaking to Brentford, the club he played for in the 80s, Chris admitted that he had suicidal thoughts after he left Soccer Saturday as he didn’t want to be a ‘burden to his family’.

‘I felt sorry for myself when the condition came along and I didn’t know what to do or how to cope with it. You have stupid thoughts. You think you’ve got Alzheimer’s or dementia. 

Chris Kamara has admitted that he contemplated suicide after his disability drove him to rock bottom and cost him his job (pictured in April)

For over two decades, Chris, 65, was football’s funniest pundit, until he was diagnosed with speech apraxia and forced to leave the job he loved in April 2022 (pictured last year)

‘I didn’t want to be a burden to my family, so you think about taking yourself out of the game.’

He clarified that he no longer has those dark thoughts since he started getting better. 

‘How could I ever have thought of not being in this world with my grandkids? I love them and I appreciate life,’ he added.

Chris said he previously ‘didn’t understand mental health’ and would tell people who were suffering with poor mental health ‘to get up, get on with it and just do it’. 

But he explained that he now realises he was ‘totally wrong’. 

‘The majority of people who are genuinely honest and have depression, anxiety and have mental health problems need help as best as they possibly can. 

‘The start is talking to someone about it. I did that and it’s helped me immensely.’

Chris has established himself as one of football’s best loved and most celebrated sports broadcasters during his career on Sky Sports.

Fans had shown concern after noticing that his speech was slurred on Sky’s hit football show Soccer Saturday and were devastated at the news of his departure (pictured last year)

Speech therapy has put Chris on the road to recovery, allowing him to announce his triumphant return to TV in an upcoming travel series with Ben Shepard (both pictured 2019)

The 65-year-old was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid in 2021, which led to him stepping away from the majority of his broadcasting roles due to the issue.

Apraxia is a little-understood neurological condition that affects the body’s ability to perform natural motor functions. 

Chris previously revealed that he felt like a fraud due to the condition, having developed problems with speech which impacted his work as part of Soccer Saturday’s football round-up team.

In a book titled ‘Kammy‘, serialised by the Daily Mirror, Kamara admitted in his darkest moments that he contemplated suicide as he did not want to become a burden to his wife Anne.

‘I’m going to admit something now, something I’ve never mentioned before,’ Chris wrote. ‘It’s hard for me to talk about, so bear with me.’

‘I worried about where I was going to end up. Would my physical and neurological deterioration just keep going and going? And I worried more about the effect it would have on those around me.’

‘I’m a man who has always wanted to help, to provide, to love and nurture those around me. And now I could only see myself as a burden. A shell of the man I used to be that they would be left to look after.’

‘Seeing myself like that was like staring into an abyss. I could never reconcile that image in my head. It was unthinkable.’

‘And it’s at that point I’d think, “They’d be better off without me”‘.

Kamara admitted his thoughts had turned to Gary Speed, the former Wales manager who tragically committed suicide in 2011.

The broadcasting legend said he felt he could do something ‘extreme’ if he continued to ‘wander that maze alone’. 

Chris wrote that sharing his problems allowed him to realise his future might not be ‘bleak’ despite continuing to suffer from the condition.

He has fought to overcome his speech issues and earlier this year returned to screens to co-host The Games and Ninja Warrior UK. 

Chris has established himself as one of football’s best loved and most celebrated sports broadcasters during his career on Sky Sports (pictured 2019)

Chris received an MBE which recognised his services to football, charity and anti-racism (Chris and the Prince of Wales in March 2023)

The former midfielder, who played for nine English professional clubs in a career spanning 20 years, was also forced to pull out of several presenting roles due to his apraxia.

A documentary called for Lost For Words about Chris coming to terms with the condition was broadcast in December.

Chris received an MBE earlier this year which recognised his services to football, charity and anti-racism.

In his 24-year stint on Soccer Saturday, Chris became known for his catchphrase ‘Unbelievable Jeff’ when describing a big moment in a game to then host Jeff Stelling. 

He also famously missed a red card when Portsmouth’s Anthony Vanden Borre was sent off against Blackburn in April 2010.

Stelling had to inform a bemused Chris that the Portsmouth player had been sent off, while his fellow pundits were left in stitches in the studio.