When Amanda and Graham Nield sit down to work out their household budget every week, there is one difference between them and other couples up and down the country doing the same thing.
For the Nields are multi-millionaires who won a jackpot of £6.6million on the National Lottery in 2013.
And instead of splashing out on a lavish lifestyle to match their new-found wealth, the couple from Wakefield, West Yorkshire, found themselves doing the complete opposite.
They became surprisingly conservative in their spending and by their own admission still seek out a bargain.
It’s behaviour that even Amanda admits is odd.
‘It’s very strange because before we won the Lottery I used to say to Graham I’d be going straight to Paris on a shopping spree or point out cars and houses I’d buy the next day if I won,’ says Amanda, 59. ‘But then when we did win I just didn’t want those things. It’s weird.’
Life changing: Amanda and Graham Nield from Wakefield in Yorkshire are multi-millionaires who won a jackpot of £6.6m on the National Lottery in 2013
According to the Mail’s money psychotherapist Vicky Reynal, this reluctance to spend money after suddenly coming into wealth is not uncommon and that the larger the amount received, the more seriously the recipient might feel they need to guard it.
Vicky says: ‘It’s common for us to categorise money differently in our minds, depending on how it is earned – it’s called “mental accounting,”’ she says.
‘This is irrational as money is money, regardless of where it came from, but it’s an automatic reaction for many people.
‘Larger wins might be categorised as assets, money that needs to be managed. So we treat a large amount of money more seriously than the rest of our wealth and treat it as something which we need to be more thoughtful about.’
This comes, according to Vicky, with a sense of responsibility and sometimes anxiety as to whether the right decisions have been made about what the money is spent on.
Vicky also says that Amanda and Graham’s reaction to their winnings could point to them being essentially very risk-averse people. Before the win, Amanda and Graham, 67, had been car carpet factory workers who had played the Lottery since it first started in 1994.
Their win came after a particularly low point in their lives, when the couple were selling off their household belongings in a car boot sale ahead of moving in with Amanda’s parents who needed care.
‘We came home from the car boot sale and sat on our last bit of furniture, two computer chairs,’ says Amanda. ‘Then Graham checked the ticket numbers on his phone and said he thought we’d won.
‘He’s wound me up before about winning so I grabbed the ticket and checked it for myself.
‘He was right. We’d won. It felt unreal. It felt like a fairytale – it still does to be honest and I feel very privileged.’
That feeling was compounded when Graham then asked her to marry him – a second marriage for them both, with five children and 18 grandchildren between them.
‘Graham and I had been together for just over ten years. He said, “Will you marry me now?” I thought, “You’ve never asked me before!”’
The wedding was a modest affair at a local registry office a month later and the reception was at their local rugby club.
‘The best thing the money did for us was allow us to both retire so we could build a bungalow with an annexe in 2014 and spend time with my mum and dad who’ve since died,’ says Amanda.
Highlights of the win for her include taking up golf and flying to Australia to stay with one of her best friends. Plus, a few months after winning, they bought a new Nissan Pathfinder.
Vicky observes that Amanda and Graham are using money to their advantage and ‘making plans that cost more than they could have afforded previously but do not change the essence of their lives or lifestyle’.
Allwyn winner adviser Andy Carter, who guides Lottery winners through their new-found wealth, agrees.
He says the Lottery doesn’t typically change winners’ personal values. He says: ‘Winners are quick to tell us they’ll still shop in the supermarket they used to shop in. What they’re actually saying is, “my values are not changing”.
‘They’re quick to remind us that they are just as normal even after a big win.’ According to National Lottery research, a new home is a priority for the majority of winners, with three in four choosing to relocate.
But Amanda now thinks their five-bedroom home, two of which are in the annexe, is too big and wants to downsize to a three-bedroom property.
Vicky Reynal says it’s a common fear that money is corrupting. She says: ‘There’s a fear that big sums of money will spoil you or your family.
‘If you’ve previously had a middle-class lifestyle to suddenly being wealthy, you might become quite reluctant to even acknowledge it’s there.
‘If you win a small amount you could buy a big ticket item like the house or holiday you’ve always dreamt of.
‘But if you’re a really big winner, what are you going to do with it all? Will it spoil the children? It’s a common fear that money will create conflict in relationships on how to spend it.’
This is clearly borne out by the Nields, who have enjoyed ‘normal family holidays’ to Cyprus and a couple of cruises with another Lottery-winning couple.
If it’s you: Big winners might be cautious with their new found wealth, those who win more modest amounts are likely to see it as fun spending money rather than a burden
Amanda says: ‘We still get the best deals we can get. My husband’s a Yorkshire man – if there’s a bargain to have, he’ll have it!’
Amanda is also restrained, especially when it comes to buying clothes. ‘I don’t spend thousands on designer clothes,’ she says. ‘If I like a jumper and it’s £30, I’ll buy it. But I wouldn’t if it was £300.’
According to Vicky it’s also true that it can be hard to shake off the parameters we learn as children about what’s enough and what’s excessive – even if in new circumstances it would be easy to afford to adjust them.
‘We do try to keep grounded,’ says Amanda. ‘I feel some people who have money or inherited it can sometimes get a bit above themselves.
‘We make a point of not spoiling the grandchildren. I don’t want them thinking they can have everything they want in life.’
Amanda and Graham occasionally treat their grandchildren to shopping trips – but they don’t get ‘hundreds and hundreds’ of pounds spent on them. ‘My daughter-in-law once told me, “It’s our job to buy the big things for Christmas, not yours”.’
Going overboard with generosity may come from a place of love and abundance, but it may be misinterpreted, says Vicky. Some – as might have been the case with the daughter-in-law – may find that it leaves them feeling belittled or disempowered.
It might also evoke feelings of jealousy with regards to what the parents can’t afford to give to their children.
Now Amanda says the children probably receive £10 extra for Christmas than they did before the Lottery win.
While big winners might be cautious with their new-found wealth, those who win more modest amounts of around a million pounds are likely to see it as fun spending the money rather than a burden.
Take 69-year-old Ann Webster who has splashed out on little luxuries after she and husband Don, 71, from south Derbyshire, hit the jackpot in 2006, winning £1million.
The win really was a fluke – the pair typically played the same numbers for each draw they entered – but a man bumped into Ann’s wheelchair while Don was filling out a ticket.
She then bumped into Don, which caused him to mark a different final number to usual. ‘Don immediately started jumping around the lounge when we watched the live draw and I was quiet.
I thought, “This can’t be happening to us. With our luck there will have been a mistake in the draw. Then it’ll be null and void”.
‘We called the Lottery company who told us how much we’d won, to sign the ticket and to put it under our pillow until it was properly validated. We were just in a state of shock. We used to win £10 – winning more than £1million was life-changing.
‘We have really enjoyed our win,’ says Ann, who says the first thing they did afterwards was to upgrade their airline tickets to Florida to first-class.
Other cash splurges include a Porsche and a Harley-Davidson motorbike for Don. The couple had always enjoyed looking at Harleys on their trips to Florida but could only afford to buy Harley branded T-shirts.
At home they have designed their own modern, wheelchair-accessible riverside property which took two years to complete and was finished in 2021.
Vicky says many small Lottery winners fall into the trap of spending the money quickly, with no thought (maybe even forgetting to pay off debt before going on a shopping spree).
She says: ‘For Ann and Don the smaller lottery win was seen as “fun money” – and automatically fell in the category of discretionary spending – money they could splurge and give away.’
Happy to splurge: Ann and Don Webster from south Derbyshire hit the jackpot in 2006, when they won a million pounds. They have enjoyed splashing out on themselves and their family
Travel is a top priority for the couple and Dubai is their new favourite holiday spot, but they’ve also recently started taking cruises.
‘A lot of the Lottery winners were trying to persuade me to go on cruises – we’ve been on about six now,’ says Ann. Almost one in three winners take five or more holidays each year, according to the National Lottery.
Vicky explains there are a lot of fears that come with suddenly having a lot of money.
‘One of them is the fear of envy so if you’re a smaller winner you address this by sharing your winnings, giving it away and what’s left is not enough for people to envy you because it’s not enough to dramatically change your lifestyle.
‘One of my clients, who I will call Robert, when he became suddenly wealthy confessed he was terrified of people’s envy and worried he’d lose all his friends if they found out about his win.
‘He was afraid of spending money on the holidays he could now afford because returning to his small town where people at most went to the nearby caravan park on holiday and talking about his trips abroad would have alienated him.’
Vicky adds: ‘He was contemplating giving it all to charity so that the wealth wouldn’t drive his closest friends away. If it’s so much that it will change your lifestyle then the fear of envy could be what is making you hide it away rather than spend it in a visible way.’
Ann and Don, by contrast, say they enjoy treating their grandchildren. ‘Our oldest grandson is 17 and he’s into designer items like fragrances.
How can you say no to them? You can’t. I do spoil them,’ Ann says. ‘And I like my designer handbags. I’ve got a wardrobe full of them. My granddaughter brought a friend over and she said, “We’re playing with your posh handbags Nan.”’
Both Amanda and Ann have found friendship within the Lottery winner community where they get together to do volunteering days and keep in touch via Facebook.
‘It’s just nice because you can share things. With the cost-of-
living crisis it’s a bit awful spending thousands of pounds on a handbag. You can’t really brag about that. But you can to the Lottery family. “Oh, I went to Louis Vuitton and got this and that.”’
However, Ann has also experienced what she calls ‘Pretty Woman’ moments – where staff in London stores assume she won’t be able to afford items.
‘They bypass me when I’m looking round but then when I make a big order at the till they look really shocked!’
Ann did not give up her job after becoming a millionaire. She still works as the lead on equality and diversity at Derby City Council while former engineer Don retired around five years ago.
They take financial advice and even tell new winners who join the Lottery winners’ community about NS&I Premium Bonds, which she and Don use as a competition each month to see who can win the most.
‘We want to still keep a healthy bank balance – but also spoil ourselves every so often.’
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